Sorry Need to Vent

[angie84]

do you ever get the feeling y do i bother.
hubby been pissing me off last few weeks............ long complicated story and trust me u dont wanna know.
its something im finding really hard to deal with.

but ive just got to the point now im just fed up, hes shown NO interested in this baby only went to the scan. has asked how im feeling but not cause he cares (i do know this he has told me for other reasons)

im just 100% truly fed up now, and last night was the last of it.
i get the feelling he dosnt want this baby, so i dont know what to do. if we where not married i would walk away. but we are and we have just brought a house.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
sorrry for the rant, fed up. cried my self to sleep lastnight.
and tried to tell him how i feel this morning via txt, yes i know its not the best way, but he wont talk to me about things like this. and he said i was moody and he got pissed off vibe from me. i was tired. i feel like shit. he spent 3hrs or more on laptop buying stuff lastnight. then when we went to bed played angry birds on his phone!

now hes gonna be in a mood with me when he gets hm from work, and obv its all my fault. but cant tell him the real reason im upset cause its a touchy subject.

sorry.;-(

 

[littlemuffin]

I think you need to have a good chat with him, and if he goes to walk away or ignore you, tell him that is one of the reasons you are not happy.

Look after yourself, you are very important to that little person inside you. x

 

[angie84]

he dosnt talk to me in an argument. he sulks (like his mum) hes spoilt and needs to grow up hes 27, and needs to act like it.

 

[Maria1977]

Sorry that you are going through this. Pregnancy is a hard time, it brings alot of things out of you you didn't know where there. You go into it wanting to have a baby, but nobody can be prepared for how it will make you feel.

Guys defo handle pregnancy alot different to woman. Even if they go to the scans, it still doesn't become a reality for them until the baby is here.

Maybe he is scared about what it's going to be like. It is so natural to worry about everything you have to give up, even though you know you are gaining something so wonderful, it is alot to take in when actually having to face it.

I think he needs to be completely honest with you and get all his fears and concerns out, and you need to tell him all your worries, as it's normal for a woman to worry the same things, about giving things up, if you're going to be a good mum etc?

But he do need to talk to you or it's not going to go anywhere xxxxxxxx

 

[angie84]

we had a fight a few weeks ago when i found out i was pregnant (was living at his parents and even his mum heard what he said) i was bullied into it. he swears he never said bullied. but he wont say what he said. but his mum heard him.
gonna have it out with him tonight. im scared too.

 

[Maria1977]

Good luck hun, hope you both manage to get it all out on the table and get everything sorted. Defo don't need the stress when you're preggo. And your married too, so he should be an in for a penny in for a pound kind of guy really! xxxxx

 

[Olive]

Hope you manage to sort things out hun. If you're not happy, being married isn't a reason to stay in a relationship. Make sure you do what is right for you.

xxx

 

[l_maclean]

He sounds very like my OH tbh. I thought for ages he wasnt remotely interested in bubs. but he has got better as i've got further on. more since he can feel the movements etc. however, when i asked him what he thought of the maternity unit the other week - he said "well its you that has to do it what are you asking me for!" - my face musta said 1000words - cos he quickly decided to clarify that with "where ever your gonna be more relaxed" - i think he genuinely thought his opinion really didnt matter.


Some of him not being interested may be the whole mum vs dad arguement - they say a woman is a mum the minute she finds out she's pregnant - but a man's not a father till the baby arrives.

My dh also sulks, and i've lost count of the amount of times ive been in tears cos we're rowing recently, so ur not alone, you just gotta tell urself, that it will pass - every couple goes through difficult times but you can come out the otherside.

I actually think DH is hormonal as well as me lol, so that doesnt help.
xxx

 

[angie84]

We have had a chat.
But when I get bigger I know he won't touch my bump. He dosnt like it. Oh well.

 

[bute69]

How could he tell you that he doesn't like your bump?! That's such a horrible thing to say. Hope you're OK. I know if my OH had said that to me I would have told him where to go. Fortunately he's as excited as me about the whole pregnancy and can't keep him away from the midwife appointments!

 

[angie84]

he told me he dosnt like women with bumps. freeks him out.
i know he wont feel the baby if it kicks etc. he cant be very odd at times.

 

[BumbleTumble]

i dont really have any experience with this
but im here if you want to vent via PM and ill try and help and support any way i can

 

[angie84]

thankx bumble.
ta, we are just too alike sometimes me and OH. both aries, (8 days apart same yr!)
love him like mad but dose my head in. but hes being nice and taking me to liverpool tonight to see the coca cola truck!! sad arnt i.

 

[GregorysGirl]

Ok.......I can totally totally relate to this....firstly.....l_mclean is right...ur a mum already n all Oh knows it his wife is hormonal...needy...moody irrational....she has changes...has different priorities {like gettin the house sorred n spending on baby}.
I know...Ive been n still am that person n I can totally accept it as I dnt feel like my old self either. so imagine hiw hubbys feel when we change so much...ive had things said like ` I CNT WAIT T GET THE OLD JOY BK`....AND `CNT WAIT TILL U R NOT PREGNANT ANYMORE....n it really hurt me..but i know how much ive needed hubby n he cnt accept ive changed so much....plus ive been very shouty...naggy n going from 0-mental in 2secs. oh n dnt forget the reduction in sex they r getting...well he is in my xase anyhow.

So i too have had mini break downs n my PG fam on here have been amazing....ive fried myself t sleep...questioned my marraige...resented craig cos he too like ur Oh doesnt want t touch the bump n when he does...feels sik...hardly asks how I am....n doesnt see Jnr as a reality.

BUT....ASK URSELF THIS.....

Did u marry for better for worse?
is ur relationship built on strong foundations?
cn u just accept men r from mars n that he'll prob come into his own when bubs is here
is what uve had in the past worth fighting for?

I know when ive felt low ive asked myself those questions n i knew my marraige is not under tgreat we r just going through a tough time....men dnt react n some are more in touch with their feninine side n r fussin all over their Pg wifes g/fs.

Wat id do...is right down everything thats upsettin u n sit him down for a proper chat.

It will get better...n due t ny mc in april....ive been pg for 10 mntgs....so the strain for us has been huge....but we r still in live...have huge respect n will get through this oregnancy alot stronger...i just hope i return to my former self....lol.

If u need me im here. xxxx

 

[GregorysGirl]

Sorry for the typos..im on touchpad phone...im sure ull guess wat i meant x

 

[angie84]

i thought it was strong, really strong. but ive txted his twice this morning asking if he wants this baby, and he not replyed yes, one didnt answer to and other havnt had a reply.

oh no

 

[angie84]

quick txt update. he dose want the baby, hes s**t scared. but told him so am i.
weve got so many things going on as well. think baby is being pushed to the back and its upsetting me.

 

[GregorysGirl]

Awwww hun....it sounds like hes just scared...most men r i tnk...just too proud t say xx