So Frustrated I Am In Tears! What Would You Say?

[Julia]

Hello all,

I have been very emotional this week (hormones, tiredness etc)... I am 23 weeks pregnant and have just finished teaching for the six week break. I have written a post on here before about DH not changing his social life now that I am pregnant again.

I feel like telling him to shove our marriage up his arse!!!!! He went out on Wednesday night for a couple of hours and we had a staff end of term party last night (which we both went to). He has also gone out tonight over our local for a couple of hours with the excuse of it being the 'end of a long term'.

He is an assistant head and works long hours under stress, so in some ways I can understand. He is also good around the house and has spent all day working in the garden. BUT I really feel that he just does not to be with me - he goes out once / twice a week over our local all the time. I hate nagging and really try not to because I am not that type of person and I know that some men need their own time (which is fine). i just think that he does not love me anymore...I feel like asking him to chose between a batchelor life or family - is this too drastic?

What do you think I should say to him or not say to him?? I am also very jealous that he can go out and have a good few drinks whereas I have not had a good night out for nearly six months

Julia xxxxx

 

[lea m]

ITA with Midna! Your hormones wont be helping you hun and you dont want to upset yourself more when all it may need is an extra chat and explain to him that now more than ever you need to know he loves you and wants to be with you!
Its amazing isnt it how things upset us when we're pregnant that normally wouldnt bother us!!

 

[Noor~ul~Usman]

I'd be happy if my husband went out once a week!
He doesn't have any social life after work and just mongs on the PC when he comes home which REALLY grates me

I have just started having a fairly active social life on sundays and go out for between 3-5hours ....and I feel like I'm almost abandoning him But it's great to see other women and to not hear the dam theame tune of his game

I think it sounds like your hormones are giving you a hard time.
I'd agree with the others and reccomend a little chat with him. It can be fairly informal as long as you get to express your feelings

He wont be feeling bad with morning sickness, swollen joints, having your ribs kicked etc so he may not realise that you want to go out but just dont feel well enough and that you feel a bit left out.

Hope you sort it out

 

[nori]

I tend to agree with the other hun. I think maybe the emotions and hormones are carrying you away. Im sure he still loves you and maybe he is actually trying to help in the garden rather than using it to "get away from you".

If your OH was going out every night getting hammered and coming home at all hours i would say its got to stop but a couple of nights down the pub? I dont think thats too bad.

It sounds to me (i could be very wrong) but the issue here is more the fact you are worried he doesnt love you anymore and the fact you cant go out and do what you want to do?

Have chat with him and tell him you would like to do something together once a week maybe? spend some quality time just the two of you.

Hope you feel better soon,

Claire x

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies, girls...

You all talk so much sense! I feel alot better this morning....think it is my hormones going haywire!!!

I feel like I have been pregnant forever and I am only 6 months!!

I just want a bit of normality back and a bit of a social life!!

I just read my original post from last night and chuckled! It was a bit of an over-reaction - anyone would think he was having an affair that I had just discovered!!!

Anyway - thank you so much for making me feel better. I think I will have a calm chat to himn this evening and see if we can compromise in some way........


Love and hormones,

Julia xxxxxxx

 

[dannii87]

Aww Julia I completely understand why you feel so low, being pregnant can be particularly difficult at times and you don't realise how much you are restricted with a social life when you're not pregnant! We take sooo much for granted when we're baby-less!

All the clothes we could wear which we can't now, the fact we can't stay up past 9am without yawning and looking bored! The fact we feel frumpy and back ache, can't drink - Blah blah blah! But on the other hand, we are all going to end up with a beautiful baby and become the best role in the world... A Mum

I know what you mean about the hormones! I'm one irrational b*tch now I'm pregnant!

Glad you're feeling better xxx

 

[widowwadman]

Why can't you actually go with him, at least for a few hours?

 

[Julia]

Thanks for your replies!

I don't ever feel like going with him to be honest (I used to go when I wasn't pregnant). He goes with another 4 men and they all talk football etc! I am finding it really difficult not drinking and I think it would just annoy me more!! Also, need a babysitter for my 2 year old little girl and I don't see the point in getting my parents up for just an hour or so.....

I am such a positive person normally and never moan about silly things like this!! Only another 12ish weeks to go and I am near the end!!

Dannii87 - you are right it is not just the going out issue, it is the fact I can't get into my nice clothes very well, feel tired etc!!

I MUST STOP MOANING AND PULL MYSELF TOGETHER!!! I AM GOING TO HAVE A WONDERFUL BABY AT THE END - YOU COULDN'T ASK FOR BETTER THAN THAT!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT ROLL ON 12 WEEKS!!