So emotional!

[Tan]

Hi

Does anyone else feel like they are really down in the first trimester? I know it's normal to have your emotions flying up and down all the time with the hormones etc but I just feel so down and keep crying all the time. I don't know what's up with me and I don't remember feeling this upset all the time with my first pregnancy. I am even struggling to feel happy about being pregnant even though it was planned this time round, but then I feel bad that i'm not happy about it. Am feeling like an emotional wreck at the moment and poor DH just doesn't seem to get it!

Any advice/support would be so gratefully received.

Tanya x

 

[jacquidube]

Hi Tanya, unfortunately it is very common. I am only 4 weeks pregnant and I know I will probably experience it too. Its the part I dont like or want. Alot of women go through a very anxious time and it cant be helped. I do feel for you hun but try and say HEY hormones attack me all you want, Im going to fight this and it will all be over soon for you.

Take care Tanya.

Love Jacqui x x

 

[Tan]

Thanks Jacqui (apologies if I spelt your name wrong!). Will try my best to keep my chin up but still feeling like crap!

I think i'm feeling extra crap cause my best friend has just had her first cycle of IVF and she got positive result but then lost it after a couple of weeks. I felt so guilty and it was horrible not being able to do anything to help her. She knows I am there for her and I understand she's going to struggle to cope but she has had very little contact with me unless ive initiated it. I just feel like i'm having a bad time too and feel like I have no support. I know she's probably not doing it deliberately but I feel I can't necessarily tell her how bad i'm feeling cause I don't want to upset her. Do you think i'm being selfish/silly?

Sorry to go on but I just feel so crappy and don't really have anyone to talk too as I wanted to wait until xmas to tell my family and friends etc because of the complications ive had.

Tanya x

 

[hayley]

Hi Tanya

I agree with jacqui it's very normal to have these emotion hormones during the first 12 weeks. I think women draw the short straw... but we get to carry our little bean come baby which makes us twice as close.... Some people cry non stop during the first trimester.. some sail thru without a hitch... I'm 7 weeks today! i do feel a little hormonal but not as bad as some. I feel quite sick to the stomach when i'm hungry... I'm very thirsty all the time which worrys me! i'm running the loo every 2 mins.. just can't seem to drink enough... I'm sure your emotions will settle down soon.. till then have a good cry when ever you feel like...

Sorry about your friend.. it must be hard for both of you. She probably feels a little envious of your pregnancy which it totally normal. And you probably feel guilty for being pregnant.... can you have a little talk with her.. she might feel better being able to talk about her MC.

x

 

[Skidoo]

Hiya - I found the first few months dreadfully emotional. I felt that I had no support, I felt miserable most of the time, I couldn't sleep at night and was exhausted like never before all day, and I felt like my OH just didn't really care. In retrospect I think it was mostly hormonal, but that didn't help at the time.

It's hard because you're feeling all this stuff, but, as you say, you can't really talk to anyone about it and no-one knows why you're being wierd so you just feel worse and worse. That was my experience anyway.

I told my boss quite early on because I was so tired and knew that I was behaving rather oddly at times. Funny thing was she said 'I thought so!!' and I remembered her looking at me oddly a few days before. Others were completely surprised when I told them. I found it a lot easier once I'd let the cat out of the bag.

Also after about 12-14 weeks (I can't remember offhand) the placenta takes over some of the hormonal aspects for the baby and that makes it a little easier for you.

Try talking to your partner about how you're feeling. He's probably baffled and doesn't know what to do. Only trouble is, there probably isn't anything he can do. I remember my OH buying me flowers one day and just thinking 'huh, does he think that's going to make everything better?' - I was just that miserable.

And it can't be easy having a friend who desparately wants to concieve while you're feeling rubbish because you have! I know that when I'm feeling low I find it really hard to contact people, so that might be what's going on with her too. Have you told her your news yet? Perhaps you should so that you can break it to her gently rather than in the excitement of telling all and sundry?

Sorry to rant on. Your mail reminded me how utterly banjaxed I was by my feelings when I found out I was pregnant! But it will get better and you will start to have good happy feelings about your pregnancy.

 

[Tan]

Thanks everyone for your advice and support. It's nice to know that others have felt like this too!
My friend already knows about me being pregnant so i'm guessing that is why she's keeping her distance. I do know its hard for her and I feel incredibly selfish for saying this I know, but it's hard for me too - not only deal with my pregnancy etc but also with her struggle and loss and giving her constant support.
None of my family know yet either until xmas so I guess i'll get their support then. My work friends are the only ones that really know because of the job that I do, I had to let them know asap and none of them are remotely sympathetic as it means more work for them!
Oh well, i'm feeling a little better today. Went to the docs yesterday and he said I also have some viral thing which is probably making me feel a lot lower than normal so that helps explain things a little. Unfortunately, I obviously can't take anything for it so have got to plough on through it! I also finished work yesterday for the holiodays (i work in a school) so am trying to spend today doing nothing but relaxing, chilling and sleeping!

Tan x