Sex during pregnancy

[Sadrainbow]

I've read up on this and know that sex is safe in pregnancy but am really struggling with my bf's opinions on this.

Since we found out I'm pregnant he is reluctant to have sex, it is one of the only pleasures I really have now having given up alcohol and can't smoke. I have tried to talk to him but he believes it's bad for the baby, he even says I'm 'nasty' for thinking like this when I should be thinking of our baby more.

I don't think I can go through nine months of no sex, before pregnancy I had a high sex drive and now that I'm pregnant that hasn't changed. Is anyone else experiencing this?

I'm not even showing yet as I'm only about six weeks pregnant I think x

 

[umbongo]

There is no way it can damage the baby. Look it up on the internet and make him read it. The only time you can be advised against it is you turn out to have a low lying placenta, but it's way too early to worry about that.
Sex is actually great I have found so you don't want to miss out!
It's not unusual for men to feel like this, so just find some good information to show him and reassure him. The baby will be nowhere near where he will be, and it's very well protected inside.
Hope you sort it out hun xx

 

[Sadrainbow]

I've tried to hun, I know where you're coming from, there are great articles about sex during pregnancy and I've been very reassured to know that there is nothing harmful about it.

He just refuses point blank to discuss it or look at anything related to it, he doesn't trust what he hears on the internet (he says), he says I'm 'nasty' (that made me feel like some cheap whore) for thinking about sex before we know the baby is okay with the scan. I don't think things are improving at all He is just ignoring me and playing on his computer game now x

 

[umbongo]

Oh no. He doesn't seem to be handling it too well. I really feel for you. I hope he comes round soon. He's being very selfish, I assume he is having worries about being a dad and not wanting to face up to it maybe. It sounds like hes' using it as an excuse to be mean. There's no need to start calling you nasty, how did you make the baby i the first place for pete's sake!
The NHS site even says about it http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/sex-in-pregnancy.aspx

I think you'll have to stick with some DIY for now hun
xx

 

[Nat28]

Ive not had sex since i got my bfp!!! Me and my oh dont have a massive sex drive anyways, but im pretty sure that my oh would act the same scared it will harm the baby and all that, but to be fair i can see me letting him have sex before te 12 week scan, just because im too scared dont want to cause any bleeding or anything up there thats uneccasary as ill drive meself mad!!x

 

[umbongo]

You're missing out! It's great!! It's up to you though, obviously I just couldn't go without. I'd go mad.

 

[Nat28]

Haha im sure i am missing out but im just to scared to!!! Once i no baby is ok i wont mind, saying that i recon if my oh pounced on me i wouldnt push him away!!!x

 

[Sadrainbow]

I am going mad, we've had sex once a week since we found out but I just don't find it enough. I'm considering leaving him, it may sound crazy but nine months of being horny AND him being mean about that doesn't sound like a stress free pregnancy. DIY just doesn't satisfy me, I like the connection and inimacy of sex, the cuddles afterwards, the bonding of it. It would be worse to live with him in abstinence than to hoik my belongings off to my mums and be alone and abstinent there. I can't see this situation improving when the baby comes, he just has stopped seeing me as sexy because I'm going to be a mum I think x

 

[Nat28]

He may come round once hes seen baby is ok and that, some men get weired out by the whole having sex when a baby is up there buisness, am pretty sure he wont be able go 9months without it either so hell probably cave!x

 

[Tigger87]

I am going mad, we've had sex once a week since we found out but I just don't find it enough. I'm considering leaving him, it may sound crazy but nine months of being horny AND him being mean about that doesn't sound like a stress free pregnancy. DIY just doesn't satisfy me, I like the connection and inimacy of sex, the cuddles afterwards, the bonding of it. It would be worse to live with him in abstinence than to hoik my belongings off to my mums and be alone and abstinent there. I can't see this situation improving when the baby comes, he just has stopped seeing me as sexy because I'm going to be a mum I think x

I haven't had any since we found out, infact probably not since the night we conceived!!! Due to family, general busy-ness and now my total exhaustion all the time, we haven't really had a moment. OH did tell me when he found out that he felt he didn't "need to" anymore because he'd already done his job!!!

We don't have a very high sex drive as it is though, and I still get all the intimacy and cuddles etc just without the sex first!!

 

[k8_005]

well i think if you dissapear off to your mums when you have it once a week its you being daft. i have a high sex drive so does hubby to start with he wouldnt have sex with me this went on for 3 weeks he too was scared no matter what i showed him. so then i gave him bj and tossed him off a couple of times n then next time i got him all close i just jumped ontop lol he was too far gone with the passion to mind n i said to him after that was ok right? we have had sex some weeks every day other weeks maybe once a week, i think the important thing is that you are there together spending time together, cuddles and kisses and pleasuring each other without penetration (that includes him playing with you btw!) can be equally fun especially if you blind fold each other and make it a game, i think be patiant with him in time things will work out. big hugs as its not easy and very frustrating but you will wear him down xx

 

[Positive37]

we havent had sex.since i got bfp actually way before.prob when we started ivf end of october.we both dont have high sex drives we have lots od cuddles and i sort him out ha ...but i have been very horny but we are waiting till 12 wk scan.a week and half to wait...im gonna drag him upstairs that day.

leaving your bf seems extreme..i am sure he will come round x

 

[SpinSugar]

You could always do other stuff, you don't have to actually have 'penetration' (Sounds so clinical, sorry!!) thats just as good! xx

 

[umbongo]

The last BJ gave was christmas eve, just before I did a test in fact. I am too scared it'll make me sick now as I gag so easily with this nausea! Poor DH! :-D

 

[glowing]

He would have to have to have a 12 inch penis that bends upwards to even touch your cervix. I am sure that is not the case and tell him women have early internal scans with a 15 inch probe that searches for the fetus and ovaries etc.

 

[JJ Mum]

We always skip sex in trimester one , didn't want to tempt fate, and although it wouldn't cause any issue, sometimes you can bleed/spot after sex when preg due to blood vessels, and althought fine, causes me tok stress and worry! But having said that I turn into a horny rabbit in trimester two so we make up for it.

Tell him, that yourll go along with it in trimester one to be on the safe side and then after happy 12 week scan , you can resume normal sex , thats a fair deal.... in tri 3 yourll find you want it less..

 

[umbongo]

How do people check their cervix if it's 15 inches away?!?!

 

[Nat28]

Its not 15inches away!!!!x

 

[Nat28]

Well mines not!! Weather it rises that high later on but 15inches is alot!! X

 

[umbongo]

I didn't think so as my DH has bumped it before. Ooof.