school problems..help!

[scottishterrier]

my daughter started school a couple of weeks ago but this week is the first of her going full day.
I was called in yesterday and ended up having to sit through lunch with her as she was so upset about it.
I had a talk with her last night about how she was 5 now and had to be big and how she knew what was involved now and she was ok with it. however this morning i had tears and tantrums all morning about going, then when we got there refused to go inside, another giant sobbing session.
ive tried being firm, ive tried bribary( if you go in nicely like a big girl we can do such and such) but nothing is working. its becoming a nightmare and slightly embarrasing as all the others toddle of into class and im left with her clinging onto my legs sobbing her heart out.

does anyone have any advice?

 

[mamichuli]

Aww Hun, I know how bad that can be... been there, done that.
I'll tell you what worked with my eldest, although, admittedly she was younger (two) when this happened. On her first day of school she started crying at breakfast and wouldnt stop, getting worse as we got ready to go, dressed, etc. Finally exasperated, after all the things you said, including bribery - i finally said "Jessica, I really dont care if you want to go or not - you are going to school. Whether you cry or not, so you might as well stop crying coz you are going anyway- and she did. I could not believe it . She has never looked back.
I suggest you put on a cheery happy face - difficult as this may be - and leave the school without looking back, No anger, no look of sadness on your face, as your little one may be playing on this, just say "See you later, darling" and leave as if she is happy - she will soon realise that school is not so bad!

Good luck and stay strong

Lisa

 

[Babylicious]

Just be firm and don't offer any bribes. If you have to go in try and ignore her as much as possible (I know it sounds hard) - she'll make some new friends soon and will be happy going

I was the same for my mum too

 

[Freya]

Can you try talking to teacher or getting someone else to take her? Just an idea. I think being firm helps. I would also explain that you will get into trouble if she doesnt go to school etc. etc.

 

[Tiny Sue]

Hi scotty

As a teacher who's just finished with a 7 year stint in infants, I have seen this from the other side many times. Trust me, nobody is looking at you funny, every child has their own way of dealing and this just happens to be your daughter's way.
You can deal with it but it requires a stout heart and a fair measure of will power. Be firm. She is going to have to get over this.

SO
Gently disengage her arms from yours, and hand her over to the teacher. DON'T let her see that you're upset too. That's the hard part. Tell her when you will pick her up and try your darnedest to be there when you say you will be there. That way your little girl will trust you more and be more prepared to let you go.

And you just have to walk away. It's the hardest thing you will ever do, and I feel for you. I've seen some way more severe cases including one where the MOTHER sobbed and cried for 6 straight weeks and upset the child to the extent that she missed most of her first term and had to repeat the year.

But that's not going to happen to you! The calmer you are, the calmer your little girl will be. And after a couple of months you'll get so sick of "teacher says this" and "teacher says that" you'll want her to shut up about school!

*HUG* know what you're going through.

Sue

 

[emma28]

Jonah tried this too, although he is only 3. One morning I was almost as upset as he was so I told him he didn't have to go but that he would have to put is pj's back on and go back to bed. He couldn't get out the house fast enough!!

It's a bit of a risk for you though, I see that, cos like you say, she has to go.
I was just laughing with one of the other mums this morning about how he used to cry and wrap himself around my legs...now he gives me the briefest kiss and he's off, shouting love you in the distance! Yours will be like that soon too, don't worry

 

[Kylie1007]

Maybe if you talk to her teacher, she could give her a special job to do as soon as she gets to school - before the other children come in - like unstacking the chairs or making sure the right pencils etc are on the tables?

 

[_Rosie_]

definately be firm! i actually remember my first days of school and i was exactly like that holdin onto my mums legs and crying! lol the best thing my mum did for me was to put me in the classroom, turn her back and walk away.
i soon felt embarrassed stood there crying to myself so just got on with it. and maybe try telling her in the morning before you leave where you will wait for her after school and then maybe if she had been good that morning take a lil treat for her. but dont bribe though make it a surprise.
hope this helped and good luck i hope things improve soon

 

[HappyAlice]

just wondering have things got any better?
My 4 yr old daughter has only just stopped crying and clinging when I leave her