scared beyond belief

[dolly]

hi everyone,

I'm due tomorrow with my first and have spent the last week unable to sleep due to nerves. I have suffered with panic attacks in the past, and keep feeling that I am on the edge of having another one every time I think about the birth.

I have had NCT classes, so kind of know what to expect (well, as much as you can with something like birth!) but nothing is helping.

I am terrified of the pain, because I am such a panic'er. If I get a headache, its a tumour, if I get a stomach ache, its an ulcer (you get my drift)

I have talked it through with friends and my OH, but its always the same 'don't worry you'll be fine' but that isn't helping!

I am also convinced that my baby will be disabled, because I am surrounded by friends who have had healthy babies (5 in the last week), and I think that I must be that 1 in 400 who will have the baby with Downs, or be blind or deaf. Is it normal to think like this??

Was anyone else totally terrified, but got through it without being scarred for life?

Words of comfort and honesty would be gratefully received.
xx

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Does it hurt? Yes it really does. Was I scared? Petrified! And yes its perfectly normal to worry that your baby will be born healthy with no disabilites, absolutely perfectly normal

The thing with labour is there is no getting away from the fact that its painful, but it depends on how you view it.

Normallly pain is our bodies way of alerting us to something being wrong, and an incentive to not do things like stick our hands in fires.

Labour pain is different, it doesnt mean something is wrong, its not an incentive to not have babies, its just a physical reaction to our muscles contracting to help baby down the birth canal. The result of this pain is one of the most beautiful and special things in the world, and as soon as you hold your baby for the first time you really will forget about the pain, it will just be a distant memory and a means to an amazing end.

No-one can reasure you that it wont hurt too badly, because it really does hurt, and you need to be prepared for that, but you will have access to some of the best pain relief in the world, and the most important thing is to try and stay calm and listen to what you are asked to do ie when to breathe, when to push etc.

Maybe you could try some relazation techniques to help prepare you for labour, theres plenty of info out there bvut if you want to chat more about it please pm me

 

[kimmumof2]

hi hun, i agree with GGG no-one can fully prepare you or reassure you but one thing that is for certain is that you will be in the ideal place when it happens. the first signs of labour will be dull pain that most people put up with if you are too worried once labour starts go straight to the hospital and explain your anxieties and you will be in the best hands. it does hurt hun but there are ways around it and once its over you will feel sooo proud of both your little one and of yourself. good luck with your birth and i hope everything turns out fine and you are back on here in no time telling us how great you were.

xxxxx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

I would say goig in with a positive attitude would help you loads, take someone with you that you can rely on and support you as well!
Just try not to focus on the painand remember that you will have a gorgeous baby at the end of it all!
I kni know im speaking positively but i was terrified first time around and i had a bad experience, but i fell that was down to my nerves as well, wheras this time around im not scared at all, im preparing my body now and getting used to the fact anything can happen! but also i know that im in control this time around and i know what to expect.

All i can say is good luck, and remember its your labour, your baby and things should go the way you want them too!

 

[Redshoes]

Just wanted to send some hugs dolly, so sorry to hear you're feeling that way it's normal to be scared about something you've not been through, but it is also a very normal and natural event birth, so trust your body and your baby, you know them both very well, in that you can be confident, and hopefully feel a little more at ease Very best wishes

 

[Miracle babe]

Oh bless you, its totally normal to have these feelings. I felt excatly the same but I took the attitude that it was ONE DAY out of my life and what would follow would last a life time. You also dont have to feel a thing if you dont want to, get that epidural in girl and read a magazine
Believe me in a fornights time when your sat there holding that little bundle you'll be thinking what on earth was I scared of and you'd be prepared to do it again in a heartbeat.
I hope you have the easiest labour ever and one sneeze and its out

 

[cloud9]

I think it is very normal to think that way...The only advice i can give is take each stage as it comes...I went into denial i was even going into labour so never planned how i would feel.

 

[libs]

I'll tell you what my Mum told me - it isn't like the pain you get from a broken leg..you know it's going to end and there's a set number of pains you'll have before it ends. Okay so you don't know what that number is - but each one you have is one less.

Another thing is thinking about being in pain for hours and hours...those hours just disappear in a flash. When I had finished pushing I thought it had only been about 20 mins...it had been hours.

Good luck

 

[OverTheMoon]

Any mum-to-be who doesn't have these feelings/worries is not normal!! Its natures' way of preparing you to be a good mummy, in other words you want everything to be ok with your baby this shows just how much you care. You are going to be just great!!!
I felt just like you, i remember it so clearly, and had quite a difficult birth, and yet here i am going through it all again, just like millions and millions of women around the world. You'll be so proud of yourself once you've had the baby, you feel like you can tackle anything after that, and it gives you a new sense of calm and confidence like nothing you've ever experienced. Trust me!

 

[Terrie]

to be honest i dont remember the pain... i just remember how much effort it took to push rhys out. i did it on just gas and air and to be honest it wasnt all that bad. i could definetly go through it again!