Scared about OH being away

[knopk@]

Just wanted to write it down somewhere, maybe I will feel better.

My husband is going on a business trip this Saturday and coming back 1st September, I am due on 17th but I am still paranoid I will go into labour when he is not here. It will be my worst nightmare.

And he cant cancel it either.

Plus he just phoned me and asked if he could go out on 16th (invited me along), its 30 mins away but I said he is not allowed to drink. Full stop.

I am being mean?

 

[nik106]

I don't think you're being mean at all!!! My OH said he wouldn't drink in August so he could drive me if necessary but he did anyway! 30mins isn't too far either, my midwife said that i needn't worry about being an hour away on my due date, as that should be plenty of time to get back if needbe.

As for the business trip , its a real shame he cancel, i wouldn't like it if my OH went away that close to my due date either. Is there someone who can come and stay with you, so you aren't alone?

 

[Sarah13]

No I think one night him not drinking just incase isn't too much to ask esp since you have had 9 months of not drinking! Know how you feel about being worried about OH not being around near your due date, mine is due home a week before my due date so hope I'm not early either!

 

[knopk@]

I told him I might go with him if I havent given birth and feeling ok but not to confirm anything with the friend as I dont know.

My parents are far away and his parents are 6 hours drive from London so not that close either. A friend of mine said to call her if anything so she can drive me if necessary but I just dont want to give birth alone! At the beginning I told him he is not allowed to go anywhere from 38 weeks but I didnt think his trip would be this close to 38 weeks. And he wont be able to fly back quickly either, he will be in Iraq.

I guess I will need to occupy myself during 10 days so I am busy

 

[Sarah13]

I just rely on my friends as my and his family also other end of country, I've got 2 that will be on standby as a birth partner as I'm planning a home birth, guess I do have a 14 year old daughter around all the time but don't really want her at the birth, think it would scar her for life at her age!

 

[Esoames]

My husband went to senegal two weeks before my due date! Was not impressed. He arrived a week before Isla was born who was 4 days early. I understand you worrying, it's hard when you don't know when it's going to be. As for the night out you are so in the right, he doesn't need to drink xx


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[nik106]

I told him I might go with him if I havent given birth and feeling ok but not to confirm anything with the friend as I dont know.

My parents are far away and his parents are 6 hours drive from London so not that close either. A friend of mine said to call her if anything so she can drive me if necessary but I just dont want to give birth alone! At the beginning I told him he is not allowed to go anywhere from 38 weeks but I didnt think his trip would be this close to 38 weeks. And he wont be able to fly back quickly either, he will be in Iraq.

I guess I will need to occupy myself during 10 days so I am busy

Is he going out with something to do with the military? Cos they can get them back pretty quick if so, my bro-in-law was posted to Cyprus and when my stepsister's grandad was dying they managed to get her back within a few hours and she's not even military herself

 

[knopk@]

I told him I might go with him if I havent given birth and feeling ok but not to confirm anything with the friend as I dont know.

My parents are far away and his parents are 6 hours drive from London so not that close either. A friend of mine said to call her if anything so she can drive me if necessary but I just dont want to give birth alone! At the beginning I told him he is not allowed to go anywhere from 38 weeks but I didnt think his trip would be this close to 38 weeks. And he wont be able to fly back quickly either, he will be in Iraq.

I guess I will need to occupy myself during 10 days so I am busy

Is he going out with something to do with the military? Cos they can get them back pretty quick if so, my bro-in-law was posted to Cyprus and when my stepsister's grandad was dying they managed to get her back within a few hours and she's not even military herself

Nope, not military, he is in energy industry and has to wait for an exit visa every time (every time they take blood to test for AIDS and stuff which takes nearly a week before they let him out!).

All very complicated and dont think they will be flexible if I go into labour.

It doesnt help I have been losing bit of the plug either

 

[nik106]

That sounds like way too much hassle just to leave a country!

 

[ft90]

Totally understand why you'd be worried! My OH is in russia working at the moment and was supposed to be until a two weeks before my due date. I kicked off so much about it that I think he's coming back the first week of September, when I'm not due until October 12th! I'm not taking any chances! And he's not going away again until a month after my due date! xx

 

[knopk@]

Fair enough, whereabouts is he in Russia(I am Russian)? At least he doesnt need an exit visa!

I really am not happy about him going but should have said before. I told him he is not allowed to check his blackberry or answer his phone during paternity leave, I dont give a sh!t if they need him

 

[Binzy]

Oh, completely understand why you don't want him to go Iraq, it's nit exactly round the corner, is it!
How far are you from your hospital? You may need a plan B to make you feel better.

 

[knopk@]

Oh, completely understand why you don't want him to go Iraq, it's nit exactly round the corner, is it!
How far are you from your hospital? You may need a plan B to make you feel better.

The hospital is prob 20 mins away if there is no traffic, up to 40 if its bad traffic. My friend did offer to drive me but i really cant think of anyone else other than my husband in the hospital with me. I would totally panic

 

[Binzy]

You're right but you should have a Plan B anyway just in case (coz if you don't know what will happen but if you do you'll be fine!)

 

[ft90]

He's sailing to Sakhalin, so he's ging to be really remote. He said it's an 18 hour train journey before he can get on a plane. So I want to make sure he's home waaaay earlier, just in case! My midwife keeps suggesting that I might not make my due date, so I don't want to take any risks xx

 

[Sarah13]

Must be horrible for our partners too, I know my hubby would be so gutted if he wasn't home in time and baby was a few days old, almost makes me want to cry thinking about that!

 

[ft90]

Yeah it must be horrible for them as well, worrying. I know my OH was really worried about it, so that was why he was so quick to speak to the superintendent. If he missed anything he'd never forgive himself. He spoke to my dad and that made him feel worse! My dad used to work offshore as well and missed me being born by a day and a half, and even to this day 21 years later he still feels awful about it, my two younger brothers were both graced with his presence at their births!

So OH looks at my dad and is definitely learning from his mistakes! xx

 

[knopk@]

Oh yes, Sakhalin is miles away, good on him for making the decision. I know my husband would never forgive himself if he missed it but this bloody business trip is set in stone! ARGH

 

[ft90]

Yeah when he told me, I looked it up on the map I was like WHAT??? But he's an offshore dive technician, so he's always in very remote locations... I'd love him to just have a normal job where he goes away from work to a city centre right next to an airport! This job does have it's good points though...

Hopefully your hubby will get back with plenty of time to spare! xx

 

[knopk@]

omg, one of the girls from my NCT class has gone into labour earlier, she is 37 and a bit weeks! I am next on the list after her