Scared about being alone at the birth!

[missyeovil]

Hey girls,

There was a thread on here the other day somewhere about who people wanted at the birth and who they didn't and at the time it never occurred to me, but I was lying in the bath last night and it suddenly dawned...what if I have to give birth alone?!

Because I live on an island, they say I need to go and stay off island from 38 weeks. So long as I stay on the green path, this will be a 20 minutes car journey and a 45 minute ferry journey away from where I live which isn't really that far. BUT, there is no physical way that with work and OH's daughter that him or my mum will be able to come and stay with me. So now I'm starting to panic, what if I go into labour at 5.05pm? The last ferry off the island will have sailed and there wouldn't be another one until 9am. What if my partner and/or mum can't make it over and I give birth essentially alone! Mum tried to reassure me and say the most important person is the midwife, but I need my mummy to hold my hand! :S

Has anyone been in situation where their partner hasn't made it to the birth for some reason? Did you cope?! I've completely petrified myself!x

 

[sophs85]

aw that's so stressful. I', 45min drive from hospital in Glasgow and I panicking that if I go in too early they will try and send me home again, and im worried about the weather. But your situation is mega stressful , are you staying on main land after 38 weeks?? x

 

[Francesca26]

What an awful situation to be in! Given the circumstances couldnt you possibly ask to be induced so you could definately have someone there with you?

 

[missyeovil]

Yeah the plan is to stay in Oban on the mainland from 38 weeks onwards. I never thought about even asking to be induced! I would obviously rather not, but I really don't think I could give birth alone! Aaaah. Going to have to do some serious chatting with the midwife about this. All future births will be home births to avoid this situation completely!

 

[kittyrooroo]

Ive worried about this too although I shouldnt be!
I live over 2 and a half hours away from any family member and I worry that if I go into labour unexpectedly or early, I wont be able to get hold of OH! He has family that would step in but that would make me sooo uncomfortable.
Hes been told that from September onwards he has to have his phone on the loudest setting all the time! And I probably wont let him leave my side.
I hope you get something sorted!! xxx

 

[Sunshine_1]

I can see why you would be scared !! Don't you have a friend or someone you could ask to come to the mainland with you, so if your OH or Mum can't make it on time they could birth partner you? Will you be staying with anyone on the mainland?

Terrible idea, but on an episode of 'One born every minute' I watched a few days ago, a woman had this other woman with her who wasn't a friend, but it was her job to be a birthing partner. I think she must have been a midwife or healthcare assistant or something. I think, from what I have read on Google, she was called a Doula. She got to know the Mum in the weeks leading up to the birth and was there as the birthing partner at the birth. I don't fancy this a lot myself, but think I would rather it than be alone?

 

[missyeovil]

I'll have to stay in a B&B or something on the mainland, I'm assuming they have a list of people who don't mind a woman who's waters could break any minute all over their carpet! I don't have any friends who stay in Oban at all and pretty much all my friends are away at uni :\ I was thinking my sister could maybe manage up in an emergency. She'll be staying in Glasgow but there's no guarantee she could manage as public transport is rubbish here in the winter!

Goodness, I think I would rather give birth alone than train some random up to be my birthing partner though! Maybe it won't be too much of an issue if I get to know my midwife really well, but I haven't met her yet as she's been off with back problems! x

 

[PyscoFalcon]

That is a very scary thought.
Can't your partner have the week of your due date off?

That's what my hubby is hoping to do.

 

[Sarah85]

U poor thing must be a stress. Maybe just speak to midwife and sure you can arrange something.
Just a tip I wouldn't have your OH take week off of due date my brother did that and he regretted it as she went overdue by two weeks and wished he'd added it on to paternity. She couldn't get off sofa she was so big so they literally sat watching films lol But obviously everyone's situations are different it's whatever works for them. Just I know he would tell u he really regretted it lol

 

[Esperanza84]

Hey girls,

There was a thread on here the other day somewhere about who people wanted at the birth and who they didn't and at the time it never occurred to me, but I was lying in the bath last night and it suddenly dawned...what if I have to give birth alone?!

Because I live on an island, they say I need to go and stay off island from 38 weeks. So long as I stay on the green path, this will be a 20 minutes car journey and a 45 minute ferry journey away from where I live which isn't really that far. BUT, there is no physical way that with work and OH's daughter that him or my mum will be able to come and stay with me. So now I'm starting to panic, what if I go into labour at 5.05pm? The last ferry off the island will have sailed and there wouldn't be another one until 9am. What if my partner and/or mum can't make it over and I give birth essentially alone! Mum tried to reassure me and say the most important person is the midwife, but I need my mummy to hold my hand! :S

Has anyone been in situation where their partner hasn't made it to the birth for some reason? Did you cope?! I've completely petrified myself!x

Well, my partner was with me, but he wasn't really essential to the birth part. It was nice to have him there, but the essential person (as your mother said) was the mw, and I couldn't focus on anyone else. I think you'll do wonderful either way! Your body tells you what to do!!

xx

 

[Lolly85x]

Oh this does sound like an awful situation I know it means so much to me my OH being there, but there's lots of people who don't! There's no point in asking people to take there holidays or leave cause like someone said you could end up just sitting about, and that would be so frustrating.
You should sit down and speak to your midwife... She must have had this situation before.
You could always go down the route of pushing for an induction, I know it's not ideal but it's an idea.
A friend of mind had her 1st baby by c-section as her boyfriend worked away on the oil rigs, and the closer and closer to her due date the more panicked and stressed she was becoming. And they booked her in for a section. She planned a hypno water birth, so was one extreme to the other. But she weighted up that it ment more to her Oh being there.
Maybe speak to other mums on the island. See what they did xxx

 

[missyeovil]

Thanks for all your ideas and support. I think I'll just have to speak to my midwife about it all, like you say people must have had questions about it before...the last two women who went away to have babies seemed to go and have them straight away but I think at least one of them had a c-section which is definitely not what I want unless it's completely necessary for baby's safety!
Hopefully when I meet my midwife she'll be so nice I won't even care if OH is there to hold my hand!x