Right...I have to admit this and move on!

[BabysMomma]

I shamefully gave up breastfeeding when Avery was 2 weeks old!

She was losing a lot of weight and you could see her shoulder blades and spine! Her little skin was also beginning to get really saggy! Not to mention the fact that she just wouldn't settle at all!

Avery is much happier and more settled now than what she was, but I can't shake the feeling that I gave up too soon and I keep going over and over it in my head.

It didn't help that the HV said to me that if I'd have stuck with it and gone beyond 2 weeks then I would've started to see the benefits of it on Avery!

I guess I'm really angry at this cos I got so much damn conflicting advice from the home visiting MWs! Do this, don't do that...then another one visits and gives me the complete opposite advice!

I feel that I have failed as a mother and just can't move on from it. I'm hoping that my posting it here will help as it kinda gets it off my chest. And I've been avoiding posting on here on other topics sometimes cos I was afraid someone would ask how bf was going and I just couldn't admit that I'd given up.

So...I'm very sorry Avery...but hope that I can be a good Mummy to you in other ways xx

There...I've said it...and now

Hopefully I can now move forward and not have this hanging over my head! x

 

[BevG]

you did what you thought best, and at the end of the day your her mum for life, the hv goes away after a while. they should have suggested topping up the bf with formula feeds so you could keep doing it and yet make sure she was getting enough food to gain weight healthily.

 

[karenandbump]

Big hugs hon. Try not to carry guilt for this stuff - ur a great mummy!!! x x x

 

[xxbeckyxx]

don't feel guilty, it's really hard! And if she's gaining weight and happier now then you made the right decision!!

I hate the guilt trip that mothers have when they can't breastfeed - I gave up at 6 months but I still feel guilty I couldn't do it for longer!

 

[Maria1977]

All BFing mums have this guilt put on to them. I had it, and I wanted to give up too. Oscar lost a lot of weight, his body wasn't as affected as your LOs from the sound of it though.

It's crazy how much pressure is put on us to BF. You did your best hun, nobody can ask more than that of you, and you gave your baby the best start. Some babies just aren't for BFing. My friends baby wasn't, he was much happier and gaining more weight once she moved him on to formula feeding around the same time you did. There's nothing wrong with that.

For an HV to say you would've seen the benefits is ridiculous, who knows what would've happened. Your LO might've lost so much weight and began to get really ill because of it, you did the absolute right thing and now you have a happy, thriving baby.

You should be proud of yourself, have no guilt at all

 

[rainbow dancer]

hun dont feel guilty, you have done the most amazing thing and carried her for 9 months then gave birth to her you have not failed and giving up breastfeeding doesnt make you a bad mum. i gave up after 6 weeks and think it was the best thing for me and baby so please stop kicking yourself and feeling guilty. happy baby = happy mummy and vice versa xx

 

[JJ Mum]

We really do put far too much pressure on ourselves, the midwifes and HV and TV etc all tell us that BF is the way it should be done, when really at a few months old, statistics show that not many mums are doing it. My mum posted me a newspaper articale that said at 4 months old only 7 % of mums are still BF and the rest bottle, so bottle is actually the norm now and should be more accepted.

There is not enough support for mums , not enougth BF help in hospitals straight after birth when it matters, and at your house. I saw a home midwife once as I was in hosp for the first 4 days (with no help) and then the HV has missed me off her list, so I had to chase her down, luckily I had worked it out by then. I think they can't be giving mixed messages like they did with you either.

What has worked out for you and your baby will mean you will both go from strength to strength, I'm suprised you didn't get more help / support as baby lost that much weight.

If you really wanted to do something , it's prob not too late to try expressing etc and resuming milk supply , so may be worth asking for help and advice just so your sure, but either way you gave her the first two weeks of your milk with all the antibodies etc and that will have given her a great start - well done and you really have no need to feel bad.

 

[BabysMomma]

Thank you sooooooo very much Ladies! Your support and kind words have helped like you wouldn't believe!

I don't feel as bad now but still feel guilty at times. I see how mcuh more Avery is thriving and make a point of remembering that when the guilt rears its head.

You Ladies are a massive support and again thank you from my heart! x

 

[Miss]

Don't let anyone make you feel guilty or ashamed hun. It's a personal choice and no one has the right to dictate to you.

Xx

 

[Rayoflight]

Did you know it's possible to relactate? Think it's within the first 6 weeks and it requires lots of expressing on your part and possibly supplements but if you were desperate to get your supply back, it can possibly be done. I know a couple of women who did and just did the last feed before bed as a breastfeed.

 

[BabysMomma]

No I didn't know that I could...Avery is 6 weeks this Wednesday...is there hope?

I know that I would need a LOT of support with this and I'm scared that I won't get that from the lack of resources/support I've already came across and fail yet again.

Maybe I should try and go to a breastfeeding group before Wednesday and see what support I can get? x

 

[Angelina80]

You've done the right thing. You gave your baby exactly what she needed proving that you really care about her wellbeing. Don't feel remorseful

 

[Rayoflight]

Try seeing if there is one near you or a La Leche league meeting near you too.

When I'm near the laptop later I will type out the relactation chapter from the La Leche League breastfeeding handbook x

 

[becki]

i bf for 48hour and just physicly ouldnt do anymore i trye expressing and eerything!! i do feel guilty ut my friend nd family kept reminding me that he had the best start i will how ever try to breast feed my next baby x