Really upset today

[Bexybun]

Since I hit 37 weeks the other day, I've been trying out a few of the natural ways to bring on labour, mainly out of curiosity to see if they work- I never tried anything last time. If I go to my due date I won't be distraught or anything, but I am feeling quite fed up with being pregnant (what with all the health problems I've had throughout), and I know it's a big baby who is measuring two weeks ahead, so it would be safe for it to come now. I haven't been doing any of them regularly- we've only dtd once this week, I've had both curry and pineapples once, I do lots of walking and bouncing on the ball anyway and last night I tried nipple stimulation (not for long, I felt like a right eejit ). Like I say I'm not trying to bring it on hardcore or anything, just seeing if they might work.
Every time I have mentioned to OH that "So and so is supposed to bring on labour", he scolds me for trying it, citing it as "dangerous"- as if I would do anything to harm this baby! And last night within minutes of getting in, I got a bollocking for trying the NS- he let rip, saying that "It's 40 weeks for a reason, babies don't just do nothing for 3 weeks, and if it comes early and there's something wrong with it it'll be your fault and you'll feel terrible."

I'm now terrified and feel horribly guilty- I keep crying and am utterly freaked out that I've done something to harm him/her. And I'm angry too- as if I'm not going to be freaking out enough when I go into labour, now if it's any time before due date I'm going to be panicking that there's also something wrong. I feel like he's taken away any excitement I would have gotten from telling him I've gone into labour, coz now I'll just be scared And I feel so guilty. I'm not fit to be a mother again coz I was so damn selfish.

 

[lewisca]

Oh Hun !! Men r a pain in r the arse ignore him !!! All the old wives tales r only supposed to help bring on labour and only if your body and baby is ready !!! They don't have to go through the pregnancy so don't know what's it's like !! Also why would dr class u as term from 37 weeks if it wasn't ok that babies were born !!! U don't deserve to feel like this Hun your already an amazing mum and will b again xxx


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[LaurenMM]

I've had the same with my OH only he hasnt been quite so harsh about it and your OH shouldnt be either. I started trying some of these remedies at 37 weeks but I didnt go crazy with them. Like you I do quite a bit of walking anyway and you're supposed to stay active, we dtd too but only when I felt like it and wanted to; I didnt have sex to purposefully bring on labour lol I've tried clary sage oil in the bath for weeks now because I didnt realise at first it was supposed to bring on labour, I was using it help me sleep.

The point is no matter what you do the baby will come when he/she and your body is ready; eating a couple of pineapples wont change that and thats what the OH doesnt realise. Also, what harm is there is trying them? You're not pumping your body full of pills and potions and you're certainly not doing anything to harm the baby hun and you are DEFINITELY not selfish. I've been feeling fed up since 30 weeks (my baby is slightly big too) and just generally feeling uncomfortable - again something else which men do not understand. The baby is considered full term at 37 weeks but gestation period for a human female is 40 weeks so there wouldnt be anything wrong if the baby was to make an appearance now. Please dont be down on yourself hun xxxx

 

[excited]

Aw hon, you are not selfish at all - just desperate to meet your LO.

I am sure in his own way your OH is just trying to stop you make it come early in case it doesnt work and you will be disappointed.

Have a proper chat with him to clear the air and you will feel better. I am 5 days overdue now so I totally understand your desperation - everyone keeps telling me to relax and enjoy the last of our time just the 2 of us - but those same people are texting/phoning/facebooking every 2 seconds to see if theres any news!!!

Sending you hugsxxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Sorry ur feeling so shitty babe ur OH shouldn't have said those things maybe he should read up on what happens in the last three weeks.. Just baby fattening up that's all!! It's full term at 37w for a reason!

xxx

 

[mum2b410]

I agree with excited (i am 5 days over like u too btw!)............u are not being selfish at all hun, men just don't get how hard these last few months/weeks are for us and there is no way u would do anything to harm the baby..........The old wives tales aren't proven but MW's don't tell u not to do them either.....if they were thought to be unsafe they would say not to do them! You're OH really shouldn't be so hard on u or make u feel this way..............LO will come when they are good and ready, and anytime from 37 weeks is fine I would say, especially if u are measuring 2 weeks ahead! Don't u dare be soooo hard on yourself coz u r just coping the best way u can and that's all any of us can do! *Big Hug*

 

[i.love]

Oh hun I think you are both overreacting tbh. NS is one of the most harmless things you can do many girls drink, smoke, ride horses etc and end up having perfectly healthy babies. I'm sure that rubbing your boobs for a few mins would not do any harm whatsoever so don't worry. Worrying would probably be worse for the baby - remember that they can feel your emotions. And remind your oh about it so he doesn't give you hard time!

I can see your OHs point though I must say, even though it sounds like he is taking it a bit too far... But if he is so against any stimulation, I would say let it be - just to avoid unnecessary argument.

Xx

 

[Sarah13]

Try not to stress, if baby does come now it was planning to anyway, they come when ready what ever we do! Best thing you can do is relax, baby wont come if your stressed out. The last few weeks are just for baby to get fat, Kynon was a month early and he was fine, he's just doing the fattening up part outside the womb!

 

[ForestLas80]

Hun he was being way harsh! He has no idea how hard it has been for you to carry a baby to full term and deal with everything health wise. What u r doing was not unsafe and won't damage the baby !! I would words with him and explain and get an apology. U want to feel supported and excited about labour. xxx

 

[Rachaellius]

I agree with the girls he was being harsh! And you have no reason to beat yourself up at all. As Jaycessmumma says the last 3 weeks is baba just fattening up and you'll be classed as full term at 37 weeks. Men have no idea how uncomfortable it is. You've done nothing to harm your LO hun xx

 

[Bexybun]

Thankyou girls. I just feel so scared and worried now I've spent most of the day crying in bed

 

[Geminiblue]

oh hunni stop being hard on yourself, if anything was that detrimental then there would be warnings out there not to do it. So put your mind at rest now hey stressing isnt going to help you at all. I have to tell myself this as well. My OH pisses on my parade too, only because he is very practical but your OH sounds scared.... my friends husband is like this so dont be too hard on him either take care and please deep breath now everything is ok xxx

 

[suzzi]

oh hun dont worry about what other half says, all these things are to get labour going naturaly its not as if your shoving your hand up there trying to pull him out lol.

men do worry, we were banned from sex coz of plecenta previa and i was given all clear last week so said to other half we can now have sex as im having natural delivery, he is still worrying something will go wrong, although ive got him on a promise later lol

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Hope ur feeling better now babe xx

 

[Bexybun]

Yeah, I guess- my sister came to stay this weekend, which was lovely Have just decided to get over things, I think sometimes OH just doesn't get how much he can upset me. Ah well, onwards and upwards! Thanks for the support xxx

 

[Jayceesmumma]

Glad ur feeling better babe don't let it get u down xxx