Really struggling :-(

[Holsf]

Every time I look on Facebook there's scan picture reveals now its 2-3 people I was pregnant with last time and on maternity leave with last time just makes me feel so crap having 3 early miscarriages i would of been at the same point as them if I hadn't miscarried and I just feel like im spending all my time on the internet trying to self diagnose myself. I have an appointment on the 30th November but we have been trying again and I want to keep trying to keep myself sane. Just feel like I'm loosing myself xx

 

[kaz1983]

Aww hun im so sorry youre going through this i know how down i felt and ive only had one miscarriage it does get to you seeing that people are pregnant especially if they are due same time as yoy would have been - its gd that yr keeping trying i felt if we were trying i was at least doing something to help myself

Big hugs and it will happen xx

 

[snowbee]

Hiya, I'm sorry you are feeling so down. If it is any consolation I think it is normal, I know I'm certainly feeling the same right now. We had to go to a christening last week, their baby had the same due date as our first mc. Being surrounded by babies born since we started ttc wasn't much fun either. I'm waiting on a date for our mc testing, got a consultant appointment this week but as far as I know he isn't anything to do with the testing. Are you doing anything to mark/remember your pregnancies? I've been trying to think of something we can do but not decided on anything yet. I was hoping to do something with the birthstones they would have had but not sure what exactly.

 

[Holsf]

Nice to know it's normal I just want a pregnancy that I know will bring me a baby! It doesn't feel exciting at all knowing it could end the same every time. I have my appointment at the hospital on the 30th of November but I don't know if they will do tests that day or it's just to ask what has happened. I did think about it but never decided what was the right thing or what would help. Thanks for replying xx

 

[Eryinera]

I'm waiting to have my 3rd early miscarriage I know exactly tly how you are feeling I have a family member with a baby that may be taken into care as well and someone else is about to give birth to a baby she didn't plan and wasn't sure she wanted but hey its nearly here "so I'll have to cope with it" yea great. I'm undergoing tests too. I have one set of tests in progress and then being referred to fertility clinic in 6 months time.

 

[Holsf]

6 months time? How come its that long. Did they do tests at your first appointment. We have been trying again so could be pregnant again but just feel so scared about it all which is a shame as should be an exciting time. Xx

 

[Eryinera]

For the tests they want to do on me I have to have been non preg for 6 months for some to be accurate. However they said we could start trying sooner if we wish. I've not had my first appoint yet. I'm being tested for other reasons at the mo. But even that test has a 12 week wait between blood tests to confirm.

 

[Eryinera]

I don't think I'll ever be happy in first 1st tri again. It's been completely ruined for me. It's awful that a third of the happiest time of your life is robbed from you.

 

[Branwen]

Sorry for your loss Holsf, I'm reall ystarting to hate my own 'I need to learn everything about pregnancy and babies' searches on google as well... Facebook is always full of cute baby bumps, and it hurts knowing how far you could have been (especially when you have friends that are jsut as far along, which at least I haven't). Don;t think it will ever feel normal or that I can ever smile at a baby without a sting of jelousy at the same time.

It is soo frustrating! Like a month ago me and DH were all smiles and pointing at each baby, pram, bum we saw in the street and just knowing we would be there soon as well. Now although we know we will have it some day again, I also know it will never be as magical as those first few weeks we knew.

Hospital appointment for me they just did a scan to confirm mc and make sure everything is all looking good. So am sure they will explain you everything and don't be afraid to ask questions! I'm glad i brough dh as I always am to nervous around doctors for that, but he asked some good questions which made me a bit better as well.

 

[Holsf]

Not only that I went to see my friend who had been struggling to conceive and she said she is pregnant I was happy for her but couldn't help but cry as it feels like I won't ever be there pregnant and happy. Branwen I mean what do they do at the first appointment for testing for recurrent miscarriage.
Getting a positive test is not exciting as the worry starts when and whether I will miscarry again! Xx

 

[Eryinera]

I'm going to be tested for Hughes syndrome which is one of the most common causes of recurrent miscarriages. I need to get myself better first but then I'm getting booked in.

 

[Holsf]

I am wondering if I have low progesterone I have a feeling I could be pregnant again if I am can I request the doctor test for this and will they do this at a doctors surgery? I have started taking low dose aspirin to self medicate prepared to try anything to get my take home baby xx

 

[Holsf]

Ok so af arrived today not sure how I feel about it really sad but think this is my fresh slate after 3 months of consecutive miscarriages it's my change to have a bleed and get backing track however this period is so heavy and have clots as well I adament something isn't quite right xx

 

[tinselcat]

I feel for you Holsf xx

Personally I found facebook almost unbearable to deal with after I lost the baby until I got pregnant again. I tried installing some filtering software plugin on my computer's browser to block words like "baby, pregnant, scan" etc so that I didn't see that in my news feed, but based on my experiences I would honestly recommend to stop looking at it for a while.

Big hugs xx Hope that your fresh slate is the one you need xx