I am so sad at the moment. I am sitting her with a huge lump in my throat and tears falling down my face. I think the root of the problem is going back to work and leaving Jacob. I have reduced my hours to go back 4 days but I still feel like s**t at the thought of not being there for my LO.
Jacob is 19 weeks now and the longest time I have been apart from him is 1hour when I went to get my hair done. When I go back to work LO is going to be looked after by DH and MIL and during school holidays my mum will also look after him (she's a teacher)so I know that he is going to be looked after by people who love him as much as I do but it doesn't help with how I feel. I worry that I am going to miss his first things, first words, first step etc and little things upset me which MIL does, she bounces him on her knee and says dadadadada over and over again - stupid thing to get upset about I know!
My friend has arranged a shopping trip on 27th October and she has asked me to go along. My friend has got a 1year old daughter and a 2week old son and I know she will think I am silly if I say that I don't want to go and leave Jacob plus I know that it will be a good thing to do to stand me in stead for leaving him when I go back to work. DH is off work and so can look after LO. I know that I am going to have to start to leave him with MIL on her own too so that when he is with her he doesn't get too upset, that is going to be so hard for me to do.
Sorry that the psot is so long and negative, needed to get it off my chest.
Here's hoping that I win the lottery!
Xxx
Jacob is 19 weeks now and the longest time I have been apart from him is 1hour when I went to get my hair done. When I go back to work LO is going to be looked after by DH and MIL and during school holidays my mum will also look after him (she's a teacher)so I know that he is going to be looked after by people who love him as much as I do but it doesn't help with how I feel. I worry that I am going to miss his first things, first words, first step etc and little things upset me which MIL does, she bounces him on her knee and says dadadadada over and over again - stupid thing to get upset about I know!
My friend has arranged a shopping trip on 27th October and she has asked me to go along. My friend has got a 1year old daughter and a 2week old son and I know she will think I am silly if I say that I don't want to go and leave Jacob plus I know that it will be a good thing to do to stand me in stead for leaving him when I go back to work. DH is off work and so can look after LO. I know that I am going to have to start to leave him with MIL on her own too so that when he is with her he doesn't get too upset, that is going to be so hard for me to do.
Sorry that the psot is so long and negative, needed to get it off my chest.
Here's hoping that I win the lottery!
Xxx