really blue day

[s]

Sorry this is really self indulgent but I've had a day of stress and anxiety about losing my little bean. I had a dream that I was having an ectopic pregnancy (I've only had stretching pains and slight cramp) because I read that one of the symptoms is pressure in your back passage which I remember having. I don't have one other symptom so I should be shot for being such a drama queen.
I've felt insecure for most of the day about losing this little bean. My worst fear is going to my 13 week scan and there being nothing there but you're all going through this. I'm nearly 9 weeks now and still have lots of pregnancy symptoms (sorest boobs in the world and have gone up a size, feel sick after I eat and have chronic tiredness) so I should be okay shouldn't I?????
Please reassure this stupid drama queen!
S

 

[lauramumof2]

Hiya,
I so know how you feel, I had my scan on Friday and on the days leading up to it I was convinced there would be no heartbeat. I had started feeling less sick and was also convinced this was because I had lost baby but no, the heartbeat was there and baby was moving around.

Try to hang on in there till your scan and do things that relax you, if you worry about it during the day your thoughts will carry through into dreams. A nice cup of hot milk before bed and talk to someone about it, im sure your midwife would be able to reassure you.

Take care
Laura.

 

[Amanda]

I can totally sympathise with you S. I'm at the same stage as you, but luckily I have my scan at 10+1 so don't have to wait too much longer for reassurance.

My sickness almost stopped the middle of last week, and it really panicked me. Then yesterday, I just didn't feel pregnant - does that make sense??? I have the extreme tiredness, sore boobs, and also have had to starting to wear maternity clothes already, but it is still worrying when the mind begins to wander. I keep thinking that the tiredness is just because of the time of year, the sore boobs are not as bad as they were so this is wearing off, and the extra weight is just overeating. It's hard when you start thinking like this, but we have to remember that more people have good news at their first scan than bad.

This is one of the reasons that I think the pregnancy care in this country needs revising. They need to take far more care of us in the first trimester. What do you get in the first 13 weeks? One midwife appointment? And then wait for your first scan? Lets face it, this is the most worrying time of all, so we should be able to be reassured by healthcare professionals. Rant over.

 

[s]

Good for you girl. You're totally right. Why do I have to wait 13 weeks? I hear of people having scans at 9 week etc. I think I'm going to ring today to make a fuss.
You've inspired me Tankett.
Let's be strong for each other. you've still got symptoms and maybe we won't have them every day. I don't feel sick today. I think the problem is that I'm reading too much about the bad stuff but the majority of women have healthy babies. We have to be positive and optimistic. I didn't sleep last ngiht worrying about it which is bonkers.
Take care,
S

 

[Anna Marie]

Hi S,

Sorry you are feeling insecure.. gosh you are not alone at all.. we all feel like that.. some of us ALL THE TIME!!
Every day I wake up in a panic that "Bod's" heartbeat has stopped or I will see blood when I go to the loo.

My nausea has now ceased and I really am panicking.. and this weekend I stayed up til midnight both nights and felt fine.. that worries me too even though the dr said that around 11- 12 weeks the symptoms really ease up.. I still panic!!

I have to say though that my NHS care has been fantastic.. mainly because they were so good to me after my miscarriage last year they continued to look after me and offered me weekly scans for reassurance. I am very thankful for that. I suppose they cannot afford to offer it to everyone but yes I think GPs and midwives should be more proactive and supportive during such a worrying time.

Hope you feel really nauseas, really tired, really spotty and sore boobs and can still smell those bins in Yemen S!!!!!!!

When I knew something was wrong last year I knew because my symptoms really did stop.. all of them, even my boobs shrank a bit and I just felt totally normal and began to spot a bit. I just knew.
SO if anything is going wrong I hope we will all know it.. we are so in tune with our bodies now we should but it does not stop us being very worried and insecure.. our hormones don't help..

take care and enjoy the not feeling pregnant days!!!
xxx

 

[s]

Oh Anna Marie I'm keeping everything crossed for you for tomorrow.
Not long now. I think we're just being paranoid girl and you for good reason. We should be glad to eat and not feel sick!
I had a bit of a victory today girls. I rang the hospital again to beg them to let me have scan when my husband was here and a nice woman relented. We're going together a day before I'm 12 weeks. He flies the next day. She says I may have to come back for the nuchal fold test which I don't mind as long as I can see the baby is there I'll be happy.
Please let me know how you get on.
Take care,
Love S

 

[hayley]

i agree i warned my DH the morning of my scan that the heart beat may have stopped. I wanted him to know that things can go wrong and not to build up any hope... he looked at me like i was a crazy over obsessed woman - after the scan i felt so much more relaxed... i don't feel sick any more. I'm not as tired, my boobs don't hurt as much and i'm OKAY about it... Give the hospital a call and ask if they can bring you forward.. i did! they brought me forward one week to wk 12... I'm sure everything will be okay but we're mums-to-be and this is the begining of a life of worry... the main thing try to relax...

Tankett i totally agree with your point. I get so annoyed that they don't offer better care to you in the first trimester. I didn't even get a midwife app.. it was all done at the scan (wk 12) they should offer you much more... the first 12 weeks are so important to the baby! how do we know if we're eating right, or if we're doing things that could harm our babies???? it's like you don't count until you get past the first trimester... it gets me so angry... i'm gonna write to TONY....

x

 

[nicki]

Hi everyone,

I can totally understand how you all feel. I had all the same anxieties before my 12 week scan and before my 23 weeks scan. I think its normal to worry about out little ones, what kind of parent would we be if we didn't, its a good thing in a way.
After I had my 12 week scan I was reassures for a good week or two then when we got the doppler & I couldn't find the heartbeat to begin with I panciked (well worth the money tho. to put your mind at rest).
When I had my 23 week scan I was petrified they would discover something was wrong but everything turned out fine.

Since I began to feel him kick and wiggle (his name is now Mr wiggle pants) its been ressuring & now I start to panic if he goes several hours without moving, saying that I wish he'd had a rest last night, I think he was riverdancing!! so whatever stage you're at you're going to worry and that probably doesn't ever stop, even when they're all grown up!

Try your best to relax, eat healthily and drink plenty and you'll all be fine.

Hayley, have you written to good ole Tone yet?!! (that did make me chuckle)

Nicki.xx

 

[Amanda]

S - good on you for calling the hospital!! And what a result!!!!

It just shows what we can do when we push for it.

Hayley - why don't you print off some of these pages and send them to Tony!! So he can see just what is neurotic women are going through!!

 

[s]

It's outrageous isn't it? The woman I spoke to although she was really nice she initally laughed when I said I wanted my husband with me in case I have a missed miscarraige. I havent' seen a midwife yet either Hayley. I'm hoping all will be revealed at the hospital when I go. I think as well reading about miscarraige and thinking about miscarraige doesn't help. Instead we should think that we're more likely to carry and for everything to be okay, if we haven't had a miscarriage before. My heart goes out to people who have been through this trauma already. I wouldn't be able to cope.
I don't feel at all sick today but we're bound to have days when the symptoms are stronger than others.
Thanks for the support guys. I really appreciate it. it's made me feel a whole lot better.
I'll sign your letter Hayley
Oh yeah where do you get dopplers and how much do they cost?
S

 

[s]

I was a bit bored so had a look back through the first trimester forum to find an amusing exchange between three women. All three lost symptoms between 7 and 9 weeks and they were really worried but it was reassuring to see from their ticklers that they all gave birth 7 months later. So our anxieties are nothing new to this website. I think it's hormones and uncertainty that has up at our wits end. Roll on all our first scans. And let's start turning those stats on their heads instead of allowing them to frighten us.
S

 

[Anna Marie]

we drive ourselves crazy don't we!! just as I was writing earlier about not being nauseas I had a funny turn and have been feeling weird all afternoon. Now I want to sleep!

Dopplers... got mine on Ebay for about £55 [well OH did it for me as i nagged and nagged!] still haven't mastered it to find Bod's heartbeat but hopefully soon.. if all goes well at NT scan I will ask nurse where I should be placing it on my tummy and what sound I should be listening for.. cannot seem to find anything yet.. roll on Wed.. want to get it over and done with so I can actually begin to enjoy being pregnant!

 

[s]

I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday. I hope you get a chance to post that night. if not no worries. Anna Marie, I forgot to say that a friend of mine had two miscarraiges and then a very healthy baby boy. He's the light of her life. Think positive now girlie.
S

 

[Anna Marie]

Thanks S.. I am trying to be positive but fortunately I have an OH who always sees the glass half full while I see it half empty!

Will defo try to post when back from hospital... no doubt I will need to chat whatever the result.......

xx

 

[Imi-Maddie's-Mum]

Hey girlies!!!!

Just thought i'd check in to see how you all are....

Gosh anna you will be leaving to go to the second trimester soon, bet your like me and can't wait!!!

If it makes any difference to you girls with lack of symptoms then join the club, i haven't had ANY sickness apart from last night because i have a cold,....you know snot n all that!!!!... sorry TMI, all i have is sore boobs!!!

I agree it's really worrying, but everything was ok at my 8w4d scan and i haven't had cramping but it still doesn't stop me from panicking!!!

I've told my OH about my worries and like anna marie, the glass is always half full for him. He tells me everything is going to be ok.

I find it hard to get excited because of what has happened to me in my past with losing my son and the miscarriges, and staying positive is a hard thing to do .....

One or to things keep me going .... you girls on here, and the support from my OH even tho we are still 4000 miles apart, my belly swells a little each day... but it's when i see that screen that i'll know i can start to breath and live again.

Chins up... smiling and being positive is all we have right now...

Take care girls ...

Love and best wishes always ....

Imogen
xxx

 

[s]

Hi Imi-Mum-To-Be,
I'm really sorry to read that you've had a miscarraige. It's natural for you to feel so anxious but everyting is going to be fine - I'm with your OH on that one.
Take care and keep us posted.
Good luck with your first scan.
Let us know how you get on.
S