Primary School Children Writing About The Sea (Funny)

Princess_Puddles

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Primary School Children Writing About The Sea

1) This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly age 6)

2) Oysters' balls are called pearls. (James age 6)

3) If you are surrounded by sea you are an Island. If you don't have sea all round you, you are incontinent.(Wayne age 7)

4) Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more. (Kylie age 6)

5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head.(Billy age 8 )

6) My dad goes out in his boat, and comes back with crabs. (Emily Burniston age 5)

7) When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would be better off eating beans.(William age 7)

8 ) I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant? (Helen age 6)

9) I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my Dad keeps shouting at my Mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write. (Amy age 6)

10) Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)

11) When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my wi*lly small. (Kevin age 6)

12) Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other.
(Becky age 8)

13) On holiday my Mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fa*nny (Julie age 7).
 
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

As a Nursery Nurse i can all but see and hear these comments

kids me me laugh :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
ive had some corkers for the kids at work that have had me in tears f laughter :rotfl: :rotfl:

sarah :wave:
 
Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher age 7)
:rotfl: :rotfl:
 
:rotfl:

im really looking forward to when baby starts saying funny things! as long as she doesn't go to school and tell her teachers something VERY embarassing.

when my OH was about 6 he wrote in his news book at school "my dad hit me round the head with his dick"... the truth was that he'd ran into the bathroom as my FIL was getting out of the shower and ran straight into him!

:rotfl:
 
About this time last year my OH had brought home a Zoo magazine from work and left it lying around in the kitchen and my son James, who was 4 at the time, must have picked it up and took it into his playroom.
I found him one day sat on the floor looking through it and when I asked him what he was doing with it he told me:

"I've got it because I really really really love boobies!"

:shock: :roll: Just like his daddy
 
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:


5) A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head. (Billy age 8 )
 
muppetmummy said:
About this time last year my OH had brought home a Zoo magazine from work and left it lying around in the kitchen and my son James, who was 4 at the time, must have picked it up and took it into his playroom.
I found him one day sat on the floor looking through it and when I asked him what he was doing with it he told me:

"I've got it because I really really really love boobies!"

:shock: :roll: Just like his daddy

LOL LOL :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: I would of had to walk out the room so I could PMSL!!
 
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: They are brilliant, I showed my Dh and even he thought it was funny.
 
:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: i thought they were really funny, i nearly wet myself!
 
haha brilliant. i love things like them.

if anyone has anymore, keep them coming lol

:lol:
 

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