Vickyleigh
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post deleted (OH has internet access now!)
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~*Leanne*~
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aww hunny 
i really don't know what to suggest but you need to speak to your OH - he is completely out of order!!!!
Me and OH (when we were in our own house - back with in-laws at the mo!!) we shared everything, i.e. he would cook, i would do the pots etc!
We have said that once Ruby arrives and im off work (this is when we finally get our own place!!) that we will still share the chores BUT i will do the majority of them as i will be at home with Ruby everyday - obviously when i go back to work we will share equally again but it seems to me like your OH is EXPECTING you to do everything and this is not on!!!!
hope you get it sorted hunny
i really don't know what to suggest but you need to speak to your OH - he is completely out of order!!!! Me and OH (when we were in our own house - back with in-laws at the mo!!) we shared everything, i.e. he would cook, i would do the pots etc!
We have said that once Ruby arrives and im off work (this is when we finally get our own place!!) that we will still share the chores BUT i will do the majority of them as i will be at home with Ruby everyday - obviously when i go back to work we will share equally again but it seems to me like your OH is EXPECTING you to do everything and this is not on!!!!
hope you get it sorted hunny
Ask him outright!!! You need to find out if he is just trying to make you angry so you will leave or get him too. Or if he's doing a very bad job of trying to control you and play mind games and getting you to do it all!
Yeah my OH works all week, including a Saturday. And i do the housework and cooking. But he also knows how demanding Angel is and some days i just won't get any housework done as she drains that days energy. He makes a joke of how rubbish my housewife skills are but then he knows me and i'm not overly homely. I like to work.
Just ask him, "Do you love me?" "Do you want to be with me?" If he says yes then ask him what his problem is and why he treats you so badly. If he carries on you'll walk. I certainly would.
Yeah my OH works all week, including a Saturday. And i do the housework and cooking. But he also knows how demanding Angel is and some days i just won't get any housework done as she drains that days energy. He makes a joke of how rubbish my housewife skills are but then he knows me and i'm not overly homely. I like to work.
Just ask him, "Do you love me?" "Do you want to be with me?" If he says yes then ask him what his problem is and why he treats you so badly. If he carries on you'll walk. I certainly would.
Vickyleigh
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Vickyleigh
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~*Leanne*~
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aww hunny i really don't know what to suggest but you need to speak to your OH - he is completely out of order!!!!
Me and OH (when we were in our own house - back with in-laws at the mo!!) we shared everything, i.e. he would cook, i would do the pots etc!
We have said that once Ruby arrives and im off work (this is when we finally get our own place!!) that we will still share the chores BUT i will do the majority of them as i will be at home with Ruby everyday - obviously when i go back to work we will share equally again but it seems to me like your OH is EXPECTING you to do everything and this is not on!!!!
hope you get it sorted hunny
i really don't know what to suggest but you need to speak to your OH - he is completely out of order!!!! Me and OH (when we were in our own house - back with in-laws at the mo!!) we shared everything, i.e. he would cook, i would do the pots etc!
We have said that once Ruby arrives and im off work (this is when we finally get our own place!!) that we will still share the chores BUT i will do the majority of them as i will be at home with Ruby everyday - obviously when i go back to work we will share equally again but it seems to me like your OH is EXPECTING you to do everything and this is not on!!!!
hope you get it sorted hunny
Ask him outright!!! You need to find out if he is just trying to make you angry so you will leave or get him too. Or if he's doing a very bad job of trying to control you and play mind games and getting you to do it all!
Yeah my OH works all week, including a Saturday. And i do the housework and cooking. But he also knows how demanding Angel is and some days i just won't get any housework done as she drains that days energy. He makes a joke of how rubbish my housewife skills are but then he knows me and i'm not overly homely. I like to work.
Just ask him, "Do you love me?" "Do you want to be with me?" If he says yes then ask him what his problem is and why he treats you so badly. If he carries on you'll walk. I certainly would.
Yeah my OH works all week, including a Saturday. And i do the housework and cooking. But he also knows how demanding Angel is and some days i just won't get any housework done as she drains that days energy. He makes a joke of how rubbish my housewife skills are but then he knows me and i'm not overly homely. I like to work.
Just ask him, "Do you love me?" "Do you want to be with me?" If he says yes then ask him what his problem is and why he treats you so badly. If he carries on you'll walk. I certainly would.
Vickyleigh
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~*Leanne*~
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Awww hun. My OH is similar up to a point. He used to come home from work and go and play the computer for the evening when i always seems rushed off my feet. Some men i think seem to think we sit around all day, and that looking after a child is easy (i did say some men, just incase they all lucky ladies that have OH's that help around the house and with the LO). When my daughter was born my OH and i had only been living together for about 3 months as we bothed lived with our parents before. He didnt change after we had kyla where i had completely, he seemed to think he goes out to work so it was my job to look after the house and the baby all day everyday, he used to play on the computer all day on his days off too, id hardly see him. I was at the end of my teather when i wrote him a letter explaining that he HAD to change, he was no longer a single man that had his mother to do everything for him. he slowly started to realised he now had a family and started to do abit more with kyla.
He still doesnt change or bath kyla but he does feed and play with her and leave me have an hour to myself.
Try and talk to your OH or write it down, explain you cant go on the way its going he has to change his ways. My OH still puts me down abit (although he doesnt know hes doing it) and it does have an effect, but there comes a point when you have to say, ive done my best to clean and to look after the LO if hes not happy thats his problem. Try to talk thro your feelings i kept them locked up for ages which made things worse, i just started to resent him.
I hope you sort things out
He still doesnt change or bath kyla but he does feed and play with her and leave me have an hour to myself.
Try and talk to your OH or write it down, explain you cant go on the way its going he has to change his ways. My OH still puts me down abit (although he doesnt know hes doing it) and it does have an effect, but there comes a point when you have to say, ive done my best to clean and to look after the LO if hes not happy thats his problem. Try to talk thro your feelings i kept them locked up for ages which made things worse, i just started to resent him.
I hope you sort things out
Vickyleigh said:
I work with women (and men) who have been or are currently victims of Domestic Abuse and it often starts with controlling behaviour and in some cases there is never any physical violence but living with no say over your own life is just as bad. If you really start to think he is trying to control and dominate your life maybe that should be taken as a warning sign.
I am not saying that this is or will turn into a DA relationship but from what you have said it sounds like it is starting to feel like that for you. I hope you resolve things with him and make him understand how badly he is behaving but if things don't work out anyone who has had the courage to get out of a violent relationship is strong and I think you will manage and even thrive as a single mum if it comes to that.
