poo mummy... is this normal

[bowmanzoo]

Hi

Not sure what i'm looking for but perhaps reasurance that i'm perfectly normal. I totally wanted anoter baby but since actually becoming pregnant and it actually sinking in i've felt totally panicked to the point i've even considered a termination. I've never been a confident mother which I think stems from my own childhood and never having a loving mother myself but in fact a very abusive one both sexually, physically and mentally. I try my best with Joanna but find it difficult to connect with her. I have a social worker but fear getting help in case they think i'm a shit mother and take her away from me.

Are any other mums in the same position, I love both my daughter and my unborn child but just find it difficult to connect and play with them more personally if u know what I mean. I do the routine things fine like nappy changing, feeding, bedtimes ect but want to enjoy my children.

april

 

[Sherlock]

Have you had counselling for any of this? It really might help if you have someone professional to talk to and help work through all your worries. I think every mother or mum to be has worries, but each deals with them differently and of course, they are on differing levels.

You can do this via your GP in confidence and it does not need to involve Social Services. Its not because you are a bad mother or anything like that, but you have issues for yourself that maybe working through means you'll be more confident with your children.

I don't really feel qualified to offer advice but I really do hope you are able to find the help you are looking for

 

[mandspice]

I guess things aren't helped by the fact that your hormones are all over the place at the moment too. Is your partner supportive?

 

[bowmanzoo]

Yes I agree I don't think it helps that my hormones are all over the shop. Hubby is as supportive as he can be but I agree with the other lady who replied that I need to see a counselor to resolve a lot of my childhood problems which may help me then connect with my children more and let my husband into my heart that much more. I think it's hard going to see a councilor though as I dont know where to start.

 

[Sherlock]

Best thing to do is go see your GP and hopefully they can refer you or point you in the right direction.

And if you do see a counsellor but for whatever reason don't feel they are right for you and your needs, its no biggie to ask to see someone else. Its a very personal thing and you want to be sure you are getting it right and talking to someone who you are comfortable opening up to.

Good luck

 

[bowmanzoo]

thanks for advice, ill look into it.