PND

[cossie13]

I hate admitting this but I think it's time to. I went to the Drs a couple of weeks ago and was diagnosed with postnatal depression. It's very mild so no drugs needed (which is good because I really don't want drugs). What she did suggest was to talk to friends and family as they will understand and help me through it but if that doesn't work then I'm to go back and she'll arrange counselling sessions for me (or something to that effect). So this is me admitting that I suffer with PND and that I am struggling. i never expected this to be easy but I have moments when I'm sure that I can't be a mum and even times when I think that I don't want to be a mum and then feel so guilty afterward for ever thinking such a thing. I love my little boy to bits and I just want to enjoy the time that I have off work with him, but I'm not at the moment.

I guess what I'm getting at is I hope that I can find people on here who understands and can tell me that it will get better and that I won't feel like this all the time. And maybe just maybe the doctor is right and just by talking to ladies who have been in this situation and my friends and family will understand and get me through this and I'll be a much stronger person if I come out the other side

Nikki x

 

[El1en]

I'm sure there will be lots of ladies who have been through similar to you on here who I'm sure will offer advice. I don't have pnd but for a while I nearly went to the Drs. Myself and my oh (although he didn't mean to) put a lot of pressure on me to be super woman after our little girl was born and the pressure really affected my mental health. My little girl also had colic and cried a lot which made me feel even worse, I did a lot of crying when on my own. I'm much better now she has got past the colic and I realised i couldn't do everything. I'm sure it's not half as bad as what you've been through though. Knowing how i felt on occasion really does make me feel for ladies with pnd

Do you have a supportive oh? How old is your little boy?

You can get through this, vent away To us, anytime, or tell us what your lb has done to make you smile today

 

[mylullaby]

It's not something I have experience of (not actually a mum yet!) but just admitting it sounds like a huge step for you so well done for opening up. I'm sure you'll have replies from people who've been through it before long. Just wanted to add a few words of support even though I can't really give you much in the way of helpful advice. I wouldn't leave it too long before you go back and ask for the referral from your gp. Supportive friends and family are great but they aren't professionally qualified to help you cope with pnd so I say push for the counselling too and get the best of both xx good luck and hope your recovery is a speedy one. Must be a really hard time for you right now. It will get better though xxx

 

[Baby2sky]

I suffered with pnd. I too in my darkest times wished i could back in time before the baby. I felt incredible guilt and never admitted these feelings to anybody. However i started feeling much better around 18 months. This was also the time i decided to stop being a sahm and took on a part time job, which i believe helped me immensly. I now have an absolutely fantastic relationship with my 2.8 year old and those days are extremely rare now (and i believe i only feel down now due to ante natal depression). You will come out of this hun, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. If you need to talk you can pm me xxx

 

[littlemonkey]

Talking about it will make a massive difference, I promise. The first few months after I had my first baby was a very dark time for me and honestly I don't remember much of it. It was just a fog of baby crying, me crying and both of us crying together. You're doing the right thing going to the doctors and talking to others about it. You will probably be very surprised to find that most mums have felt something similar to how you have at one time or another. I remember feeling like every one else way coping well and I was doing a crap job. I was afraid some one would find out I was a bad mum and take my son away. One day I begged my OH to stay home and deal with my boy so I could go back to work and I could have my normal life back.

But every new mum has those feelings of doubt about doing a good enough job and that crisis of losing their self confidence and identity.

It will get easier I promise. That's the one thing I say to every new mum and it's the one thing I wish people had said to me. I went on to have another baby and it was tough again but nothing like it was first time around. My experience first time taught me to be kinder to myself.

 

[Dotty_woman]

I found one of the best things was to try to get out to meet other mums with new babies. I went to a breastfeeding group on the early days. I didn't really need help with bf but it was nice to meet other mums with the same struggles and I found it very helpful. It also helped me to get out of the house and get some fresh air. If you've spoken to your doctor already, you've taken the biggest step to get help already. I hope you start to feel better soon. I'm sure you're a super mum, whatever you think!! xxx

 

[Emmajaine]

Hugs, sent you a PM xx

 

[sorpresa_bea]

I see your baby is about 5 months.... I too muddled through and resisted admitting I had PND until about that time with my LO. The first few months were awful and I regretted the situation I had found myself in (specially since baby wasn't planned, but still very welcome!!). I felt exactly the same feelings you're experiencing now. Being a new mum is a shock to the system and very hard work too.

I ended up going to counselling for a few weeks and gradually got out of the black hole. He's 8 months now and we still have days when I get really frustrated and still cry, but things are definitely much better. I think I'm over the PND....

Talk it over with people, other mums, and try to do things that give your life a sense of normalcy. Meeting people and doing things you used to do before being a mum, helps.

Hang in there, it'll pass and you'll enjoy your baby immensely and won't even be able to imagine life before him! Hugs x

 

[Orion]

No experience with PND but just wanted to say that being a mum is hard. Physically, mentally and emotionally. Everyone is different and nobody expects you to be beaming with joy every day because you're a mum.

I know PND is complicated, but my mum suffered with it. She went on to have 2 more children with no signs of PND, and I think she's a fab mum. So it won't last forever, and by the time you're through the other side, baby will have no memory of it. So take care of yourself x

 

[Rooster30]

Hey Cossie, send me a PM if you like. Unfortunately I suffered PND with my son and it was horrible. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Personally I found it difficult reading people's delight when they had their babies, it made me feel like I should be finding it all easy and fun. I didn't. The hard times should be talked about.

As I said, send me a PM if you wish. I don't live far from you either.

 

[cossie13]

Thanks for your responses. It's really helped reading through. I haven't been able to get on here in the last 24hrs as our wifi has been down. I went to a group today. I actually forced myself out of the house. I think this really helped. I met some other mums and have actually made some new friends who have children around Alex's age which was really nice. I'm more positive that I'll come out the other side. And hopefully without the need for antidepressants. I have been on them before and I didn't like the person i was on the, so hopefully with the help of others I'll be ok without them

Thanks again ladies xx

 

[kumber]

I've been diagnosed with PND today too, maybe we could help each other out? My inbox is always open to you if you ever want to talk I think forcing yourself to go out and be around other people is a good thing, I do the same and although it's absolutely exhausting, I come home on a little high. Sending you huge hugs, you will get through it and the fact that you're getting help and putting yourself out there means you've won half the battle

 

[Elliott]

Yesterday the hv said I scored quite high on the epds so I'm due to see doc next week to discuss. I have been finding it tough and felt guilty for not "loving and cherishing" every minute. I'm crying a lot and just feel useless a lot of the time, I have done good days but often I'm brought back down again. Love mags to pieces just not coping well

 

[Rooster30]

Big hugs for you all. I've been there and it was a miserable time. I always got asked if I was coping okay, I'd always say I was coping - my child was fed and looked after, but was I happy? No.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. I had my second child in April and have had no signs of PND re-appearing.

Make sure you take advantage of grandparents and get some you time. Let the OH take over when they're not working etc. I went to the groups too, they work wonders for some, but I hated them - definitely worth trying though.