Please tell me I'm not the only one......

[Tanya4beauty]

Who struggles!!!! After my first I had pnd and it affected me for a long time. Life had started to get easy and happy again and now I'm back to the baby stage with number two. I feel awful saying this because I love him to bits but part of me feels like I've ruined things. I've just had an awful day. My 3 yr old has played up which resulted in me shouting at her and smacking her bum which is something I don't do but I just snapped and the baby has just cried and fed on and off all day to the point I ended up screaming at the baby and frightening myself! In the end I just walked out of the room and shut the door for a few seconds. Tonight I just sat and cried because I'd just had enough. I'm tired and fed up and just want this tough baby stage to be over! Is that awful?! Why is it everyone else seems to love the baby stage and seem to cope so well? I feel like a crap mother!!

 

[dolly26]

Hun big hugs your not a crap mum. We all have rough days. Have you spoke to your mw or gp yet? Could ur mum or someone look after ur lo so u could get some sleep. Pm me if u ever want to talk xx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Thanks Hun! I've been talking to my health visitor as I'm very aware of being prone to pnd again. I don't feel like I've got it at the moment. I feel mentally normal but just struggled today mainly because Ashton has been whinging all day. That coupled with a naughty 3 yr old just drove me nuts!!! I just miss my sleep too!! I think that's the biggest issue, I've always been emotional with lack of sleep. I know it doesn't last forever, just feels like it will at the moment!! Xxx

 

[dolly26]

I completely understand I suffer with fatigue so night feeds were killing me. But just remember it does get better. It's good you have been talking to your hv. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day xx

 

[northerngirl]

To be completely honest, I've only just started to actually enjoy looking after Felix. He has collic for quite a while, that coupled with the fact that I suffer from very severe mental health problems which are affected by lack of sleep meant that I really didn't enjoy the newborn stage much. It doesn't make you a bad mother at all, and trust me everyone snaps with their children at some time or other.
Try not to beat yourself up because that will worsen how you're feeling over all, just try and focus on you a bit and practise a bit of self care. Do you have any family or friends who could look after one or both of you LOs while you have a bit of relaxation time? xo

 

[Rooster30]

Aww I suffered PND with my first born and it was horrible. I wished away every moment of the baby days. You have my sympathies. As you know with your first, ithe baby days do pass, even if it feels a long way off. Again, as you probably know from having PND previously that you should always speak to your HV or GP if you are feeling especially down. Things will get easier but please don't let yourself suffer, seek help from friends and family too.

Hopefully it was just a tough day. I know I've been short with both my children (more my toddler at this stage though!). Try and put today behind you and start afresh tomorrow. If you start to feel frustrated do as you did and just put baby somewhere safe and leave the room for a minute.

I'm sure you are doing a fab job. Motherhood is hard work!

 

[Mrbump83]

I have two under two and I feel like this somedays!!

I've had to walk out to collect myself when my eldest is smearing yogurt everywhere and my youngest is screaming and then the other wants holding but I need to deal with the younger and then make dinner and clean up yogurt and get pants etc etc etc arghhhhhhhh

You're not a bad mom!!! In fact you're a brilliant one because you suffered with Pnd and your getting through, you're talking to others about it and you've recognised you got ticked off... Which we all do at some point!

Women should speak more openly about the crap days... It doesn't make us bad mothers, it makes us human

I can't wait for my little lad to get crawling. The minute my littke girl started crawling life got soooo much easier!

X x

 

[littlemonkey]

I don't actually remember much of the first few weeks of my eldest's life. To me they are just a horrible, dark fog, my PND after having him was that bad. With my youngest, I made sure my OH was off work for the first month and we kept the eldest at the childminders for the first month too. Even when I was on my own with them both I had days when I kept myself going by reminding myself it won't be like this forever!

I find my toddler can be a flipping nightmare on the days the baby is acting up. I think he does it for attention. It's been a hard time for me recently as my OH has changed his work hours meaning I'm on my own more with the boys and OH hasn't been putting our eldest to bed like he does usually. Plus the eldest has just started going to playgroup in the morning. He's all out of sorts with his routine changing and is so difficult. Plus I have a baby with a cold!

It is pretty s*** at times being a mum. I do think sometimes as well some mum's are guilty of trying to put this front on of everything being perfect which doesn't help.

 

[H16]

Oh hun you are not alone! My second baby isn't due for another week yet and I struggle with just one child sometimes! I think a lot of us have had days where we have shouted at our kids and felt like terrible mothers but the truth is you are not a terrible mother at all, sometimes children really do test your patience and when they are whining or being naughty all day it is very hard not to snap at them, don't feel bad.
I remember when my daughter was a baby I actually rang my Mum and asked what the hell I had done by having a baby, she had colic and would cry and whinge 24/7 for first 4 months, I never slept and actually started to feel like I was losing my sanity, literally! I got super depressed, it was really hard. BUT just remember this baby stage doesn't last forever, it will go faster than you ever thought was possible and life will resume some sort of routine soon enough.

Keep your chin up hun and speak to whoever you need to to get through this patch but know that all will be fine and you are doing a good job even when you think you are not. Having 2 kids is hard, give yourself some credit xxx

 

[Tanya4beauty]

Thanks so much girls, you always make me feel better and so glad I'm not alone in my thoughts!! Baby has started today the same way as yesterday �� but Mia is behaving so far!
Any tips on settling a baby that whinges all the time?!!! He woke at 7 and had 5oz and has dozed and whinged since and had another 4oz. I can't get any feeding pattern with him at all. He whinges so much I don't know when he actually wants food!!! Roll on a few more weeks!! X

 

[MrsS143]

Its good you just walked away
A few minutes to breathe is sometimes what you need to just shake it off
Youre doing good. Theyre not perfect all the time so don't expect yourself to be either x

 

[kumber]

You're definitely not a crap mum! I have 2 under 2, youngest is 2 weeks and I am really struggling with the two, and that's with hubby's help! You're doing everything right, talking to your hv, putting them in a safe place and taking a breather. Your newborn sounds like mine, just won't settle at all. No advice but you're not alone, my inbox is always open hun

 

[CARNAT22]

James was an angel baby and I struggled with him for a few weeks (no pnd just took some time for me to adapt. I would say 5-6 weeks to feel competent and 8 weeks to feel confident) but from then on he was a delight and a pleasure.

Bee was (and still is to some degree) a difficult baby. She was clingy, wanted to feed 24/7, wouldn't sleep, wouldn't have me out of her eyesight. I just wasn't used to having such a demanding baby after James.

Add to this that James started the terrible 2's literally a few weeks before baby arrived I can safely say it's been quite tough. Screaming baby and tantruming toddler was and still is a daily occurrence in my house.

My OH took extended time off as well when Bee arrived.

It's hard to explain but I feel the transition from 1 to 2 has been so much harder then being a first time mum.... I think as a ftm you aren't meant to know anything whereas second time around its meant to be easier and when it isn't easier you doubt your abilities?

I wouldn't change things for the world and I'm incredibly thankful but yes it is hard.

X

 

[mrswoody]

You are not alone on this one.
I often have days where I feel out of depth and have no clue what to.
I've shouted, screamed and everything else in between and have felt like a terrible mum.
I am with the girls on my own in the week and some days it is just relentless. Some days are easier than others.
Saying all that, recently life has been pretty good for us all.
Speak out when you feel down as there are lots of us who can relate.
You are by no means a bad mum x

 

[flisstebbs]

No way alone... I didn't enjoy the early baby phase last time, hoping this time will be easier but it probably won't! I have been known to shout on occasion .
I'm terrified of how I will cope when #2 arrives!