Please tell me

[pinkyprincess]

Am I in the wrong here?

My OH was away Friday to Sunday (about 5pm) then Monday (7am) to today (about 5pm again)

I have been looking after Tyler on my own all this time. On Saturday I was up early cleaning because his sister was visiting, she never came. I've been to baby massage on mon, baby moves on tues and baby group today to keep my sanity. I've spent the rest of the week cooking or cleaning after me or Tyler and playing with him. I haven't been well at all from Monday with a cold.

My OH came home today gave Tyler a short cuddle then put him down to watch his DVD. He then started fussing about the 'state' of the house, because there are some books and papers on the table and how he shouldn't have to do this. (I'm sorting dinner out) Tyler's DVD finished and he picked him up for a cuddle. He did a poo 'oh he stinks here you are' I told him to change the nappy and he threw an absolute shit fig saying that he works all day he shouldn't have to come home to this. He then said that just because he's home I shouldn't sit there and do nothing (!). I told him its about spending time with his son, how can he play with him if I am?. He wasn't happy with that comments and made mutterings about how it wont be like this if I'm not working next year,

I'm sorry but I do EVERYTHING for my boy, he's never done a feed (ok my choice) but he moans like he does everything! He's done 2 maybe 3 baths in 6 months! Tyler gets given to me for nappy changes. He wanted me to wean early to be there, did it 2 weeks early 1st meal he sat there, second watched F1 and the rest he's been at work for.

I got more of a break when he was away!

 

[pinkyprincess]

Oh an if I mention doing anything on my own I'm 'being a hero'

 

[BabyBrain]

xxxxxxxx

 

[Samsgirl]

grrrr x

 

[Dustbunny]

Bloody men, they are so stupid at times

I would say get him to try doing one full day of what you do hopefully he'd soon change his mind but that's not very feasible with breastfeeding

 

[Jessi]

I'm the same as you. My oh does naff all. I do all the cooking, cleaning, washing, every nappy change every night time routine whilst he does what he wants he goes out with his mates chills on pc etc but I just get on with it as I can't be bothered to have a big argument. I am that use to it if he does do the odd thing I hate it lol. And have to redo it myself. I would defo sit him down and explain how you can't keep doing it on your own. Can't give much advice sorry xxx

 

[Nic36]

Awww... That really stinks. I would be so annoyed.

 

[littlemuffin]

No you are not in the wrong.

It's funny as when we were all pregnant I don't think any of us thought that our OH would be like this.

 

[BevG]

i do as much as i feel like and oh dosent complain lol. if he did id do less an if he thinks something needs doing i let him get on with it. grrrr to your oh pinky, you are a hero to us

 

[star fish]

You are a bloody hero!!

I'm lucky that my OH actually thinks my job at home is harder than his day at work. But it really is!

We do work hard at being great mums, playing with our kids, teaching them, feeding them, changing them, washing them, calming them, amusing them, getting them to sleep, everything! Its an all day and all night job. Doing a brief calculation I think that in the last 6 months I have spent a total of 9 hours apart from Jasper. Properly apart. In six months! Just 9 hours altogether. I used to get more time off than that in a day from a normal job!

You are a super mum and I can only suggest you roll your eyes and plan some time to dump the baby on him so he can remember how hard it is.

We have a plan that my otherhalf comes in at 6pm and I get an hour off to catch up and tidy up and stuff whilst he has the baby til bath time at 7pm. It doesnt work every day, but on the whole it does, maybe try to implement something like that? xx

 

[pringle88]

I totally know how you are feeling!!

I'm pretty sure they think it is our job as women!

I had to get out of the bath, throw a towel around me and run to Ella just to put her dummy back in whilst he sat watching tv!! Twat!!

I feel so proud that everything Ella has is because ive got off my arse and bought it and everything she knows is what I have taught her! That makes me feel better, I'm past even trying to get him involved now!

He is the one missing out on your gorgeous little boy!!

Ive just accepted the fact that the only break I will have is when Ella is sleeping!

It's true, you see the real side of a man when you have a baby with him!

 

[Olive]

You're not alone. Not that it helps!


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[LoopyLouize]

Not in the wrong at all!

I understand how lonely it gets too when they are away, and to be honest, like you, sometimes it's easier when it's just me and H!!! OH just ends up winding me up when he's home! Demanding his tea be cooked for him and playing his Xbox or buggering of to clean his stupid car! Men are poo!

 

[Nurse 26]

Bloody men!

 

[becciboo26]

Same here! Although he does feed in the day and change nappies, never has done a night feed, put to bed or a bath, I do all the cleaning most of the time, but he does help.more than your oh, kick him up the add! I've said many times going back to work would be a break (and my job was VERY stressfull) xxx

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[pinkyprincess]

What is wrong with men eh? I don't think I will go back to work because I have a feeling I'll have to work all day, then come home and do everything for baby!

Why in this modern day are men still like this?

 

[prettypenguin]

I can't believe he won't even change a nappy !! R was like this til i get pg and i had the most terrible morning sickness so he had no choice but to change a nappy .

I even woke him at half 2 this morning to change a nappy!! Muahaha.

Id suggest go out somewhere but its not easy when bf x

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[DW1978]

No you're not in the wrong at all. Why don't men get it? It really pisses me off that when I was at home my dh thought I was just sat round, drinking coffee and chatting to my friends all the time. Grrrr

 

[Jessi]

Dw wouldn't that be amazing to sit round all day could you imagine the mess they would come home to after a day they think we have lol xx