Partner of 10 yrs doesn’t want our surprise baby

[Rowe4]

Good evening everyone.

As the title says, I’ve fallen pregnant whilst on the pill. I had issues with one I was taking, so Gp changed it, and haven’t had a period since! I’m currently 11 weeks. We already have 3, so we both thought we were done. But now this little being is here, I know I have to have it. My partner on the other hand, wants no more children, end of. Wants me to terminate. I’ve said I can’t, I know I couldn’t deal with the grief and guilt, I also feel d hold it against him. I feel bad for him, as he so sure he’s done with babies. We’ve been together 10 and a half yrs and he’s now gone to stay with friends to ‘get his head stright’
I really don’t no what to do! I don’t want to loose him, and feel if I keep it he’ll go, but if I end pregnancy I’ll loose baby and possibly him in the end then be left with neither!

If anyone has been in the same or similar situation, what did you do! Xx
Thank you xxx

 

[Mexico2014]

Hi Rowe, sounds like such a difficult situation. But I am with you on this one I would keep the baby as I couldn’t live with the. Guilt! Do you think he would come round? Surely he wouldn’t end your relationship after being together this long.

You have to do what you think is best for you. You do not want to go through life feeling guilty and regretting your decesion. It sounds like you have already made your decision! It’s a shame you can be supported! It’s not like you asked for it!! If he’s that dead against having anymore children then why didn’t he have the snip!?? Xxx

 

[Rowe4]

I hope he wouldn’t end it cos of this. He wouldn’t look good leaving 3 kids and a pregnant mrs! I do understand his feelings though, but this is a life, our babies life and also it’ll be me that has to live with the trauma if I went and did what HE wanted me to do.
Thank you Hun for reply xx

 

[KHTW]

I am sorry you have to go through this... A baby is a gift and I think you would regret getting rid of it. I hope your partner comes to his senses x

 

[Princess81]

I think if you are so set on keeping the pregnancy at this stage, it would be a big mistake not to, and one that you would regret for the rest of your life.
Im sure its come as a huge shock to you and your partner, but ultimately you cant put yourself through a life of torment by being forced into a decision, that would likely cause the breakdown of your relationship anyway.
Really tough times, I hope you manage to work through it x

 

[Rowe4]

Thank you ladies, I hope we can sort this xx

 

[GBLiz]

I reckon he will get his head straight and come around to it. I hope so for your sake. I must say i think you would resent him deeply if he made you feel forced to abort your child, to say nothing of the guilt . If he would leave because of having a baby, how commited to you and the family is he anyway?

it may just be shock talking and when he comes around to it all will be fine. if not, he was never all in anyway.....

 

[Rowe4]

Thank you, this is just what my midwife said today. He’s had his few days away to ‘clear his head’ and seems ok. Talking about what’s next on the decorating side of the house etc. I’m just going to give him time and space and hope he comes round. He knows when my scan is, so now it’s up to him if he comes or not. If not I have two friends that have offered to come with me, and my midwife said she could also arrange to be there �� thanks again for all your replies xxx

 

[Sazlarxo]

I would also suggest that if no more babies are on the cards that he arrange to have the snip to avoid anymore situations like this. If he truly doesn't want any more then he needs to be proactive about minimising the chances and not just leave you to take the pill. I hope to all works out well, please let us know how it goes xo

 

[Jamie.d]

hope you're okay...
I had a similar situation and he did leave, his whole family blackmailed me so I did terminate the baby in the end and it was the hardest thing I've ever done..I shrieked and cried in the waiting room but I knew deep down if he was forcing such a horrific thing on me I did not want him to be a father to my child or in fact involved in my life anymore..
Your situation sounds very different though maybe it's just a shock? once he sees the little bump and heartbeat i'm sure he will fall in love x
I hope he's come around

 

[Rowe4]

Thanks again for replies, I definitely think he’ll be going for the snip! He knows I’m not willing to put myself through a termination, we have scan on Thursday 8th and he’s said he’s hoping he’ll feel differently then xx

 

[miamia]

the best of luck in whatever you decide to do x

 

[BunnyN]

I understand why it was brought up but I'll just mention it is against forum rules to discuss termination as it can be quite upsetting for those who can't get pregnant or who have had losses. I know you were just explaining your situation.

I have seen a couple of similar stories on here where dad came around and doted on the baby in the end. I think it's sometimes just a shock reaction. As has been said if he leaves you over this then he can't be very committed to your family. Things happen in life, he can't just run off when something gets tough. It's not like you tricked him into getting pregnant because you wanted it and he didn't. Part of being a responsible adult and parent is dealing with curve balls in life. Of course sometimes we all do daft things so I'd cut him some slack for having to clear his head if he is back now.