Organising 1st LO when 2nd LO is due.

[daddychris]

Hi all, just looking for others experiences when 2nd LO is due. OH is due in January but we will be ready to go anytime around Christmas onwards. We have Charlotte to bear in mind this time too. Grandparents have said that they will look after her when we have to rush away, and it may be easier as it will be over Christmas holidays so they will have more time (OH's father still works and will need to go back to work at some point).
What did everyone else do, are there any major things we need to think about regarding Charlotte (we don't want her to feel very neglected especially as this is a big change in her life style).
Any answers would be great. Thanks.

 

[Strangeness]

I prepared my ds by letting him stay at my mum's once a week a few weeks before she was born just so he was used to it and didn't feel he'd just been left. He loves going to his Nanny's so it was very exciting for him to be able to stay with her while I had the baby. I also got him a present from the baby and told him before she was born that when she arrived that she'd bring him something. He put his orders in for a green boat (was the hardest mission ever to find a green boat!) and he was so pleased when he got it and he bonded with her straight away. Apart from that we didn't really do much else, just included him in everything to do with the baby. Good luck

 

[BabyMagic]

I haven't got personal experience about this, but I thought my cousin arranged the arrival of 2nd LO quite well. Their first LO was 1 yr and 5 months at the time. My cousin's mum was ready to take 1st LO when the labour started and they had been talking to 1st LO about a 'special trip' to a hotel with granny for a long time before the birth of 2nd LO. As it happened my cousin's labour started in the middle of the night but they still went ahead with the plan and went to a hotel (1st LO was sleeping though and only woke up there in the morning but must have comprehended what they had been talking about before as had been trying to say 'special trip' in the morning when in the hotel).

When the parents came home with a new baby, the mum looked after 2nd LO, a father spent time with 1st LO (again they were talking about 'special time' with daddy) and my cousin's mum looked after the household. She ended up staying at theirs to help for a month.

 

[Redshoes]

To be honest we didn't do anything to prepare Isaac because at his age we felt there was little we could do as we couldn't talk to him in a way that he fully understood. He knew Mummy's tummy was bigger and we'd touch it and say baby, and I'd always point out pictures of babies in magazines and on TV etc and say 'Awwwwww baby', and he'd always touch the picstures very carefully and smile. He did go to Grandma's the day I went into labour, and he doesn't sleep out much, and only ever at Grandma's, but he did well, the worse of it being I had to stay in hospital 2 nights, and when he came to see us at hospital he wasn't very interested in the baby but in being close to me.

I think after the baby arrives is where you need to plan, we always planned to involve Isaac in all things baby and to make sure he still got quality time with us and that his routine and the way we treated him didn't change. Isaac does really love his sister, you can see it, when we sit her on him (safely supervised ) he blushes, its so sweet!! He only ever wants to kiss her or gently touch her hair or hands, though he's recently wanted to put his finger in her mouth, but he has a thing about biting I don't believe Isaac feels neglected, you shouldn't ever feel your Charlotte will be either when I am feeding Ophelia or changing her, Isaac will either watch and smile and laugh at her (she loves watching him hehe) or he'll go play with something, or annoy the dog, I don't see him looking or feeling neglacted, he understands baby needs Mummy and has understood enough to know that and be OK with it 99% of the time. If Ophelia is feeding etc when he's due his bedtime routine he can get grumpy as he's tired and he has to wait, and if he's having a moment he will push his luck with things if I;m busy with Ophelia as he knows I won't just leave her, but those moments are 1% in the big scheme of a day so definitely nothing to worry about, but again all LO's are different so you never know how things will go until they are happening.

Very best wishes with your new arrival and their older sister
LO will most likely just want Mummy initially, and so make sure Daddy and other family are around for baby so Charlotte can still have one on one time when baby first comes home And as my MW told me, always try to deal with your toddler first over a baby as your baby will be fine for a minute whereas toddler's can leave a trail