oooh men!!!

[winnie89]

me and OH have had an argument about my labour i know it's way to early to be thinking about my labour but i'm trying to get it into my head so it's not going to scare me.

we were discussing whats going to happen and how i want it to pan out (ideally i know it doesn't always go to plan) and he said he wanted to hold the baby as soon as it's born, and i said the MW usually just puts the baby straight on my chest after being born, then they get whisked away to have all the checks done. then he was like i want to feed him first and i'm like well u cant cuz i;m gonna BF, and he turned around and said i was being selfish and that i wouldn't let him to anything in this pregnancy and that he's not going to be able to do anything, then he turned around and said he wanted his mom in the delivery room and i;m like no i don't want Ur mom seeing my lady bits as much as i love her i don't want her to see me that way!

he then had a whinge about my mom and she may not be able to see the baby straight away (she works in the laundry department and it's not hygienic because of all the chemicals ect) so i just told him to go away and get over himself he;ll be included it's just i want to meet my son first and he shouldn't get jealous over something he cant control! and anyway if he's holding the baby how can he cut the cord!! he doesn't think this through!!

 

[sammi7]

Men are always the same, they need to moan about. Personaly I think its you're choice who you want to be in there with you. I don't know if its the same with all hospitals but my MW told me that at my hosp they recommend that mother and baby have skin to skin contact for 30mins to bond. I know I will defo be doing this I don't want to seem selfish but they don't just recommend it for no reason. I think my OH was a bit annoyed about the thought of it but he came round to it saying he just wants what's best. Good luck, hope yous get it sorted xx

 

[winnie89]

Thanks hun didn't know that, I know as soon as the baby is out they are placed on your chest but he'll just have to suck it it up and grow a pair he's gonna have plenty of time to bond with his son!

 

[poppypd]

At my antenatal class, they said the skin to skin is about the hormones we produce in the chest area and thats why baby goes there. The temperature in that area is perfect for the baby. Think they also encourage baby to start breastfeeding as this helps expel the placenta. I can't believe that any man in their right mind would want to take that moment away from a new mum after seeing what she has just been through to bring them into this world!

 

[winnie89]

I know he wants to bond with his son but after the doctors know what they are doing and if they say it's best than that's what's going to happen it's as I said to him I'd of waited 9 months to meet my little man I'm sure he can wait an hour!

 

[Rachel1509]

Remind him of what you're currently going through! All the hormones, mood swings you cant control, sickness, nausea, insomnia, aches and pains, putting weight on etc! So you're allowed to decide on whats best. It's YOU who's giving birth. Yes it's his baby aswell, but you have to do all the hard work, as you have done for last 9 months too. Once you're in labour, I doubt he'll be that picky, he won't have time to be! So go with what YOU want and tell him tough

 

[nikki8092]

Hospital will try to encourage you to bf straight after birth hun, plus it helps with the last stage of labour getting the placenta out. After that you might be asked to get in the bath to get cleaned up so that will give daddy plenty of time to bond with his son. I think he is just excited as are you and i often feel like dads are left out a bit as its all about mum and baby. This is my 3rd baby and i know as soon as baby is fed etc im going to be taking a lovely long bath so sophia can bond with her daddy. xx

 

[angie84]

Just think, at least he wants to get involed when the baby is born.
this is gonna sound bad, but its not. my hubby had told me once i was pregnant baby bumps freek him out. and he hates blood and guts, he looks away when i have blood taken, so if he hasnt passed out by the time the baby is born, i know he wont want to hold it until its clean.
he deffo said NO he dosnt want to cut the cord...
i think my hubby needs to man up in alot of things (been motherd by his mum, even his mum has admited that hes spoilt)
so at least ur man whats to get involved.

 

[winnie89]

that is very true girls, he just wound me up by saying i was being selfish and not letting him do anything so i told him to actually think it through and stop being a knob, he read the pregnancy book last night and he's since stopped whinging, he knows i'm oly doing whats best for our baby and he's got the rest of his life to bond with his son just because he doesn't get to hold him the second he is born doesn't mean that he isnt going to love him any less and that he's any less of his son just needs to be patient!

 

[hugsy]

Aww it is sweet that he wants to be so involved but you are more than right wanting your baby on your chest straight away, your oH will be there beside you looking at the baby too so he shouldnt feel left out, espech if he is cutting the cord too. I have read somewhere that they say to men to take there top off too and have some skin to skin contact along with you but im not sure how practicle that is !

you can always let him have the first nappy change

 

[winnie89]

yeah i already told him that and we'll end up doing everything together anyway so he not going to be left out. think it's his time of the month again! lmao

 

[katietateypot]

i think what he is asking for is a little unreasonable, sounds like he wants all the firsts.
The baby will automatically be put on you first and it will probably help especially if you are planning to BF'd.
I only held Ava for about 10-15 minutes gave her to jay for 10 minutes while i got myself into a better position and sorted then she came straight back to me for a feed.

i think you need to be comfortable with what will happen before, during and after your labour so he needs to be more understanding.

i dont blame you for not wanting your MIL in the room either, i like jay's mum but she has too much to say about things that dont involve her so didnt have her last time and this time im having my sister, i think MIL is a little gutted but i wouldnt feel comfortable about having her near me and afterall you need to be as relaxed as possible as it is you doing the work not him!

 

[lyndsey_28]

hey hun try not to worry too much he will probably be to caught up in the moment to think about anything else as my partner was close to tears he found it that emotional......the hospital leave u alone for 30 mins for skin to skin contact before they do anything else!! they then come in and check all is ok encourage you to feed baby etc.....then when they get u to for a shower they will pass LO to ur partner and that is who put on his first nappy and clothes and cuddled him why i was showered and cleaned up!! so he can look forward to that part and as for visitors mine was not allowed up until i was on the ward during visiting hours!! so anyone can visit then xxx