Off topic - but needing some advice...

[Levi89]

Hi ladies,

I'm needing a little advice...

The story goes, I'm off work with depression & work related stress. All due to my manager being nothing but a bully (I think it's because I'm 22 and her children are the same age as me!) so I complained - 4 times! Yet HR done nothing about it. I've had 7 teeth taken out purely because I've been grinding them in my sleep - because of stress. I always thought I was to young, but seemingly the doc thinks so (I only went for sleeping tablets and he signed me off!). So I've been off for roughly 7 weeks now and still having nightmares about going back. So my plan was to go back to full time education and sort out my career. So after getting a place, securing funding etc, that's when I found out I was expecting! To be honest me & the OH had been trying since December & I was beginning to think something may be up so when we found out I was shocked (but very very happy!!).

Now as it stands, I'm off my work still, I've got a place at college that begins next month and I also have a couple of interviews over the next few weeks - as I had to start looking at a possible move from work as I'm still having nightmares about going back!

What do I do? My parents think I should go back to my current employer as I've been there for over 3 years and I'll then be entitled to full maternity pay, which I won't get should I get employment elsewhere. That sounds like the best plan but the question is - can I go back to under the same management and chance the stress etc (I mean I was breaking down in work!), which could potentially hurt my baby. Or do I leave, begin college (the funding and support I get will be pretty close to my wages) but I won't have money coming in when I'm off with the wee one? Will I be able to concentrate?

I just honestly don't know what to do...? My HR manager is paying me a home visit tomorrow and I plan on mentioning to him that I have done a pregnancy test etc so where do we go from here.

I just wish I could have the best of both until I decided, but I need to get my backside into gear!

Forgot to mention - my OH is a welder, in a secure job, with a pretty decent wage coming in. So it wouldn't be as if we would get help from the government etc.

L xx

 

[Sarah13]

I would take the college place, fresh start and all that. Money and maternity pay isn't everything and you really don't want stress now, even though your boss is out of order etc there are always stories of horrible bosses on here, and if you go back for maternity pay you will be expected to go back afterwards so the worry and stress won't go over night, whatever action is taken on your boss. You obviously wanted to leave before getting you BFP so maybe stick to your guns there?

The other option is go for other jobs anyway and you don't need to mention your pregnant, if you work for 26 weeks, I think but don't quote me, before you go on maternity leave you will be entitled to something. As your so early on you can get away without saying anything for quite a while, and most people don't even tell thier employer till after 12 weeks anyway.

I'm a student too, just about to start my 4th year but after chatting with my tutors they are going to defer my place for a year so I can enjoy some time with the baby before going back. You could speak to the college and ask if they will do this for you and in the mean time go for other interviews to tick you over till your on maternity leave, esp if your OH can support you.

Good luck, let us know how you get on

 

[Levi89]

Sarah, thank you very much! I think the college would be the best idea, I have my open day in a few weeks so I'm going to ask what the exams etc is like.

Thank you very much, I really appreciate it

L xx

 

[Levi89]

Well Sarah, there is no hanging about with me! I've emailed my employer and basically told him everything in an email. Hopefully I can concentrate on college, but as bad as this may sound, if anything was to go wrong with the wee one, as I am still very early days, I would still be on the career path that I would be if I hadn't fell pregnant.

Thank you very much again xx

 

[Sarah13]

Well done! Bet you have a weight lifted off your shoulders now and can look forward to your career change and new baby! Least you can now relax and enjoy your pregnancy without the extra stress x

 

[BevG]

i start college on the 6th of sept, was all planned out before i got pg, doing a 2 yr part time access course, planning to go to uni afterwards so i will still be able to work around it, can carry on during mat leave and probably only gonna miss a lil bit when babs arrives next march but as its only gonna be 1 day a week i should be able to make up the time.

 

[Levi89]

Yeah I spoke to my HR manager yesterday and told him I needed a clean slate for the sake of the baby's sake. (Feel's strange calling it baby since I'm so early on lol!)

So hopefully as long as the college is just handing in work ongoing then it should all be fine - I'm in two days a week so I can work around little one when he/she arrives - plus I'll have the 'summer holidays' to be on Mat leave!

Thanks ladies - I really needed an outside opinion to help make up my mind I really appreciate it! xx