Not looking forward to...

[xJuliex]

loads of visitors after i'v had baby! infact i'm dreading it! especially people who haven't bothered with me since i'v been pregnant! I know i'll just want to chill out and look after LO and get used to it all but there is absoloutley no way of getting out of peple coming round to visit is there !
suppose it's just one of them things i'll have to deal with!

 

[MJANEW1979]

Ditto!! i feel the same way! I'm just going to put my foot down and say no.

M xx

 

[moss]

I know the feeling. I like the quiet and don't want visitor after visitor! I am having my husband tell everyone that I don't want visitors for x amount of days (I'll be deciding that closer to the time or AT the time) and we are going to be very firm about that.

 

[xJuliex]

think i'm going to locka ll doors and close all curtains for a week or 2 after i'v had him i don't mind close family but not half of the town the same week i have him!!!

 

[Tillytots]

The same thing happened to me hun and I nearly cracked up, I had such a stream of visitors coming constantly. No-one came to help or anything, just to look at baby. By day 4 I was so stressed and I couldnt stop crying. My house was a tip where everyone kept coming and IO felt like utter shit. What made me really mad was one day the midwife called to do her visit and all the guests (uninvited) stood there watching while she asked me questions like how is the lochia etc they just stood there and they had to be told to leave when she wanted to feel my tummy etc THEN they refused to leave because they hadnt had a cuddle and went and had a fag in my garden. Grrr Im mad even typing this now!! It wasnt my family....OH's There is more that happened but I wont write incase this is read by them. If that had been me I would've left as soon as midwife turned up.

I have now told people I'll call them when they can come visit and to not invite themselves. I think it completely ruined that special important first few days and next baby they can wait until Im ready for visitors.

Be firm hun is all I'll say you could always say Dr's orders no visitors as you need your rest, they cant argue with that. I wish Id used that one at the time but didnt think of it until afterwards xx

 

[Sherlock]

My HV gave me a little poem to pin to the front door. A very nice way of saying 'Leave us alone please as rather tired. Thanks'

I'll type it out later and you can maybe see what you think. Plus if its on the door and people knock, you can always then ignore it and stay zonked on the bed.

I have no qualms in telling people not to visit or that now is not a good time. I asked most people to give up a couple of weeks at least before visiting and to call first to check its ok. Been blissful.

 

[Rachel]

I had loads of visitors after having Nathan and I hated it. I just wanted to be left with my little boy to get to know him and sleep when he did ect but had all these visitors Although im not the type to pretend to be happy to see them either, think most of them could tell they wern't welcome

This time I want no visitors at all except close family but I even want them to phone and arrange a time 1st instead of just turning up. If anyone does just turn up then I won't answer the door and will be more firm this time about visitors, especially in the first 2 weeks or so

 

[BeckyJ]

im really worried about this but im scared people will think im a cow

ive suffered with depression quite badly in the past and i know most peeps get the baby blues so im worried that this will bring it all back and i will break down

i dont want to seem miserable but i want time with just me, ken and the baby, i think its going to be a huge thing to adjust to without endless streams of people

im going to try and be strong and not let people take over but dont want to look like im being rude

 

[MissSara]

I have given my OH a list and on that list it has his mum and dad, sister and my mum and dad, nan and grandad, brothers and sister and 2 CLOSE friends. They are the only people that i have told OH to get in contact with after i have had the baby, the rest of the people i will phone myself after we have had the real close family and friends round for cuddles ( plus i know OH's mum and my mum are not just coming to interfere, they want to do things for me)

You know my MW actually told me after i had Harrison and couldn't cope with the visitiors that she has known people that have said they are due 2 weeks later than what they were to avoid all the fuss of people coming out of the woodwork nearer the time of birth, and i must admit i have a few mates that are starting to want to see me more now im getting closer to dd.

 

[Terrie]

please girls speak up to your friends and families!

we have already told everybody that we are going to have strict 30min visiting times and that people have to call 1st and not just show up. We have also told everybody not to expect me to be making them cups of tea, if they want one they can make it themselves and make sure they wash their cups after them.

we do not want scattered visiting times too, like people turning up at 3 then more people turning up at 4 and then more at 5. we are going to have 2 sets of visiting times a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon, and for 30 min only, the times will be set around OUR schedule not other peoples.

at the end of the day if they cannot be bothered to make an effort to come at specific times then they can just piss off!

the hospital has strict visiting times... why should it be different once we're home?

 

[Terrie]

oh and i just want to add that when we told everybody this they were very understanding....

 

[abcd1234]

I havnt actually worded my feeling on this to people yet, except Dave, but i dont want anyone around. No-one is to visit the hospital unless asked to and i will not be taking suprise visitors.

I live with my parents so obviously they will see Tally, as will my brother and sister and Dave but i know i wont want people around for a while, i'll want to settle in. I'm going to make sure my rents know to tell everyone to leave me alone lol.

Not sure what i'm gonna do if baby daddy wants to visit, guess i'll have to let him, but not when i'm straight outta hospital looking rough as, he hasnt been there to watch her grow or contributed to her financially so i think im entitle to tell him to stay away for a few days

 

[Suzie and Faith]

I'm petrified of the same. It'd be different if i thought they were coming to help but they won't be. They'll be coming for 'cuddles' which is not so useful! I guess i'm lucky because i'm living with my mum and she is keeping the house sorted and hopefully will be able to help me get some space!

I love my family but there are A LOT of them and some of OH's are 'coming down' to see us in June too. They won't be staying with us but no doubt we'll be expected to be there! I'm hoping by going to my OH's parents it'll mean we can leave when we want.

My best mate is back from uni next week and whilst i really want to see her she doesn't drive and i think she is expecting me/OH to pick her up and drop her off so she can see baby! Yet it's about a 20 min drive to hers!! ARG!

Sorry it's turned into a rant of my own!

Anyway, i think the best thing to do is to let people know as politely as possible that you need space and time and hope for the best!!!!!

 

[Chrissy1]

My friend is bring home her week old twins tomorrow and she's going with having a 2 hour 'open house' on Saturday afternoon for all visitors to come and see the babies......

She's made it clear that it's between 2 and 4 and that's it!! get it all out of the way in those two hours and then leave them alone for a while to get to know their babies and don't come back unless you're invited by them.

I think that's quite a good idea and I think it's what I'll do when I bring my bean home.

 

[Miss.Monroe]

god now im worrying about this too

i think i just wont answer the door or the phone to people i dont want. then what are they going to do? i dont care if they think im being a bitch!

i live with my dad and so i know for a fact my mum wont step foot in the house for fear of him coming home early (they dont even look at each other! lol) but she will pester me to come and sit round her house with Sophie. NO CHANCE

 

[JoAnn&Aimee]

I've already put my foot down. I've told my friends that for the first week or so I just want to be left alone to get into a routine but they can still get a hold of me via texts so I won't be completely AWOL. Thankfully they understand.

 

[dannii87]

Oh Julie - I completely understand!!

My Dad's side of the family never really bothered with me and yet, all of a sudden, I'm the best baby making machine since sliced bread

All they're grateful to me for is bringing a new Priestman member into the family. I just wish I didn't have to give my poor sprog their surname!! It's all too official lol

Anyway, I think I'll do the same and just put my foot down. After all, if you can't be a*sed with me when I'm not pregnant, I'd rather you didn't make the effort now that I am.

 

[fuffins1981]

I ended up sobbing the day after after Ty.

I was living with my mom. All my family came down and held baby. Then neighbours had a hold. I hadnt held him for hours and it all got too much.

This time I think we shall have a few days and then visit people when we feel like it or not if we dont