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No idea what to do

Discussion in 'Birth Announcements' started by jellybean93, Mar 10, 2018.

  1. jellybean93

    jellybean93 Active Member

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    So i found out today that i'm pregnant.. however i've been on the pill, haven't missed any so it's a real shock! I have a few problems though, i'm not in a relationship, i've been seeing my friend (FWB) he's only 20 and is very immature, i will be 25 on Monday.. i'm in love with him have been for awhile, he's not in the same place as me, he has feelings for me but he got hurt in a previous relationship and there for just thinks relationships are a recipe for disaster and doesn't want to get into a relationship and things go wrong and therefore we would lose what we have... i started taking the pill so that this wouldn't happen but somehow it has. I wouldn't have a termination i couldn't do that. I've had 2 previous miscarriages too with my previous partner who i was with for 6years. I know full well my 'friend' is going to freak out about this, like not even just a little bit, i'm afraid he won't want to talk to me anymore or have anything to do with me. He lost his virginity to me in November and before we did have sex he was worried about me falling pregnant and that's why i went on the pill. I just don't know how to tell him, i don't want to lose him or anything either but i know it's not going to go down well at all.
     
    #1 jellybean93, Mar 10, 2018
    Last edited: Mar 10, 2018
  2. Jamie.d

    Jamie.d Well-Known Member

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    If you can't bear the thought of a termination then don't have one... years down the line are you going to be glad you got rid of your baby to save someone else's feelings?
    Let's be honest he's 20... it's young but he knew the risks and he should be using condoms not leaving it up to you...
    I feel for the guy and yes it will probably scare him but this is neither of your fault x you need to tell him! be patient with him but remember it's your body and your baby too, are you prepared to be raising the baby on your own if he doesn't stick around? That sounds like a very real possibility but remember the choice is yours to make x
     
  3. BunnyN

    BunnyN Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations on your pregnancy! I know the circumstances might not be the best right now and you have a lot to work through but I think this baby can still be a good thing in your life. It sounds like you were TTC in your old relationship so obviously you did want to be a mum. It might not be the circumstances you had in mind but having a baby is still a wonderful thing.

    Just to let you know it is against forum rules to talk about termination as it is too upsetting to many users. I know you didn't mean harm by it and in fact were saying you wouldn't have one.

    I agree with Jamie. He thinks relationships lead to heartache, what does he think sex leads to:). No birth control is 100% so there is always a possibility of pregnancy if you are having sex. I have has a couple of friends get pregnant on the pill so I know it does happen. Unless you tricked him and got pregnant on purpose you have equal responsibility on that one. Of course he might not see it that way to start with. I think all you can do is be straight forward and explain things to him calmly. Like you he is not in the best of positions so try not to let it get to you if he freaks out. You don't need to take blame that is not yours but you might need to be ready to cut him some slack if his reaction is not the best. Hopefully he will come around. If he doesn't then it sounds harsh and probably not how you feel just now but maybe you are better off without a man that is not ready for any commitment or responsibility.
     

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