Louise2013
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This has been going on a while but I am now utterly stumped. My LO is very independent, not clingy at all but very happy, smiley and cheerful during the day. However, come naptimes, but most especially bedtime, as we have another baby on the way I am trying to get him to self-settle, to a point where I can put him down awake, and he falls off to sleep by himself. He is eleven months, yes, old I know, but we have been trying to do this for a long long time now (months and month and months). As soon as he is in the cot, he is generally fine, but as soon as I am out of sight he freaks out. I mean, goes completely beserk. The best scenario I have gotten to, without him totally freaking out, is putting him in his cot and then sitting next to it where he can see I am within touching distance. As soon as I move out of reach he goes absolutely beserk. I never wanted to try controlled crying etc but gave it a go, going in every few minutes and trying to extend the time I was away, but after an eternity my heart was just breaking, as was his, and I couldn't continue. What I am finding the hardest is his crying is a distressed cry, not a whine, or a moan, but a gasping, desperate cry; choking down air etc; not the kind of cry a Mummy can 'ignore' but literally, as soon as I am back in the room, he stops and the last few nights he has actually taken to lying down as soon as I come in - knowing I will pat his back - and once I do so, he chuckles!!!!!!! So, with that happening, I know he is okay in the whole scheme of things, but it feels like he knows how to play me if that makes sense (I mean that in the nicest way, not like he is sitting there plotting or anything daft)!
For an easy life, I could put him in the cot, and just put my hand on his back until he falls asleep, but longer term I am making an even bigger rod, I know. But, this feels more like sleep separation anxiety to me and I have no idea how to solve it. His room is very calming and a nice, happy place; he has a night light and a lullaby mobile which he knows how to turn on and off when he wants but the nights just seem to be getting harder for all of us and it makes me feel like a cr*p Mum that I can have such a happy contended little boy in the daytime, but it all goes to pot around sleep. Bizarrely, if he wakes in the night, more often than not he can settle himself back down, but about 1 in 4 times he does need me to go in. Most nights he is sleeping through about 8.30 - 7 but every few nights or so, maybe once a week, he has a night where he may wake etc, but on the whole, once he is asleep, he is out for the night.
Has anyone tackled sleep separation anxiety and if so, how did you resolve it?
Thanks xxxx
For an easy life, I could put him in the cot, and just put my hand on his back until he falls asleep, but longer term I am making an even bigger rod, I know. But, this feels more like sleep separation anxiety to me and I have no idea how to solve it. His room is very calming and a nice, happy place; he has a night light and a lullaby mobile which he knows how to turn on and off when he wants but the nights just seem to be getting harder for all of us and it makes me feel like a cr*p Mum that I can have such a happy contended little boy in the daytime, but it all goes to pot around sleep. Bizarrely, if he wakes in the night, more often than not he can settle himself back down, but about 1 in 4 times he does need me to go in. Most nights he is sleeping through about 8.30 - 7 but every few nights or so, maybe once a week, he has a night where he may wake etc, but on the whole, once he is asleep, he is out for the night.
Has anyone tackled sleep separation anxiety and if so, how did you resolve it?
Thanks xxxx
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