Night time habits help.

[babyscotcher]

Hi guys.

Looking for some sleeping advice from some of you more experienced mummies. Sorry for the long post, bare with me.

My LO has just turned 4 months last week (he was classed as prem born at 36+6). Up until about 3 weeks ago we had a lovely little boy that although he didn't sleep much during the day would sleep 9pm- 4am most nights after a 6 oz bottle and then go back down again until getting up at 9am. We now have a little boy who thinks that somewhere between 1.30am and 2.30am is a good time to wake up. Usually followed by waking up at about 3 hours later or at 5.30- 6am when my OH gets up for work when he comes into bed with me and sleeps until about 9-10am. He now goes to bed at 8pm and has between 2 and 8 oz depending on when he last ate. Doesn't seem to matter how much he has to eat he still wakes up and wants feeding at silly o'clock. I know many babies go through a sleep regression at about 4 months but this now seems to be becoming more habit than anything else.

I know he can go longer as 2 Saturdays in a row we have been out and he has gone down at 10pm and slept until 5am.

We have managed to get him to self settle (if he isn't already asleep) when we first put him to bed but he won't settle himself in the night until after a bottle (usually drinks about 4oz)l.)

We have finally got into a routine of daytime naps as before he would not sleep during the day unless we were in the car.

From tomorrow me and OH have decided to try getting him up earlier in the morning ( about 8.30am) and trying to put him to bed at about 7pm as we think he is getting overtired as the last few nights has fallen asleep about 6.30pm which then mucks up bedtime.

Thanks for reading if you have got this far. Just looking for any advice or experiences really. Even just a story of a baby who came out of it and slept well again would be nice. X

 

[kitten2014]

hi babyscotcher, first of all you are doing a fab job and to reach 4 months sleeping through is progress, you are right in the later bedtime being an issue, from about 8/9weeks we gradually moved our lil miss from 8/9pm bedtime and gradually it got earlier and earlier til we found the time that worked for her which is 6.30, asleep by 7pm and awake again 6-7am next day (yeah I know I don't expect it to last lol but 3wks and counting...), does your LO sleep in their own room? I know they don't advise it but within a week of me moving back into my own room and she slept loads better...plus I know its nice but the whole coming into your room to sleep til 9/10am is not going to be helping the nightsleep...it is important that they associate one place for sleep both for naps and nighttime...I appreciate that this is sometimes the only way to give them the best sleep but if they have accepted their cot well then keep them sleeping there at night...work on an earlier waketime definately...you will start to see a trend between bedtime/waketime and eventually start working out what works for your lil man. Also to encourage good sleep habits I found with our lil miss her first nap of the day is only about 1hr 15mins after waketime and then she naps well during the day and doesn't have a nap past 5pm in preparation for 6.30 bedtime...also do you have a bedtime routine that signals its bedtime not naptime? This is very important and should help him sleep better at night...Have you tried other soothing techniques before offering bottle during the night? dummy, shush/pat, pick up/put down? They say wait until 5/6 months for sleep training but you will know whether your lil man is ready and by the sounds of things you have already been doing this with naps...also, I know it sounds daftbut does he cry for a bottle at night or just whimper? I went through a phase whereby the first whimper Id make her a bottle and then feed her before she woke herself, I was infact just encouraging the nighttime feeding habit and not waiting for her to tell me she's properly hungry...as soon as I stopped doing this and moved next door (with a monitor) she self weaned off the nighttime bottle and she hasnt had one in 3wks...

also dont forget he will be going through a growth spurt around about now...our lil miss was taking over a litre at 4months then it gradually reduced and now back up again...how many feedings does he get per day? Our lil miss is a cluster feeder so she has two bottles within an hour or so of each other before bed and that sees her through...others will probably suggest a dreamfeed at 11pm but by the qty he is taking I think it is more habit than hunger...what size bottle do you make up for the nighttime feed? does he finish before the bottle is empty?

also settling after a bottle could be due to reflux/wind? its far easier keeping them upright for longer during the daytime with toys/distractiong etc but at nighttime those 10-15mins drag as you are both tired so maybe thats the issue?

you mention sleep regression which luckily our lil girl hasnt experienced (yet...!!!) and I know this is characterised by not being able to settle after waking but from what I understand it would be after every sleep cycle (approx 90-120mins) and therefore would wake up multiple times a night...Twice is quite normal at that stage whether for hunger or habit...

ditto on the long post lol...

 

[TTT]

Its a good thing that he's waking for feeds, it means he's developing normally. He is going through the big fourth leap and needs the extra sustenance for his growing brain. My little boy went back to feeding every two hours in a 24 hour period at the fourth leap. And has just stopped going two hours through the night again as he comes to the end of his eight month leap. Embrace it, give yourself a break and let the house get a bit of a mess so you can rest

 

[TTT]

I have found the wonder weeks invaluable for helping me understand his development. You can get each chapter on kindle separately and the app is brilliant too.

 

[babyscotcher]

Kitten- Lo has been in his own room about 2 weeks as he was sticking his arms through the bars of his crib and waking himself up.

I do try to settle him first and don't go in until he is properly grizzling and I know by that point he won't settle himself.

Going to try the earlier wake time and bedtime for a week to see if that starts to help.

He always has a warm bedtime bottle which is different to his usual room temp ones and we go and sit quietly in his room with just the nightlight on to make it obvious it is bedtime. He often falls asleep while having his bottle though so sometimes it doesn't get finished. We can't do bath and bed as he is one of those strange babies who gets all excited and awake with a bath and he doesn't have one everyday yet either.

TTT- will have a look at the wonder weeks app. I know he is going through a growth/ developmental spurt but I also know at this age that it can easily become habit for them. I am going back to work just after Xmas so don't want to just assume he will grow out of it.

Thanks for the advice girls. Daddy's turn to put him to bed tonight at the earlier time so we will see how that goes. He is not known for his patience. X

 

[Ella1979]

I would definitely try the earlier bedtime and wake time. I found both of mine were more settled when they were put down for the night awake but sleepy (rather than either asleep or overtired and cranky). It can be difficult to work out the right time, but they do seem to have a "natural" bedtime. It's finding it that's the problem!! Also, when your LO wakes in the night, you could try gradually reducing the amount of milk you're offering by 1/2oz-1oz every few days. Most of the time babies wake in the night because they haven't taken all their milk requirements during the day. My guess is with his bedtime being too late, he's too sleepy to take all the milk he needs to get through the night, so just by bringing his last bottle forwards may be enough.

At 3.5 months old, our daughter (born prem and IUGR at 36+2) would sleep from 8pm-5am. She gradually brought her own bedtime forwards. With our son (not prem and normal weight, 37+0), we deliberately set his bedtime at the same time as our daughter's (6pm) and dealt with the consequences (which were wake time of 1-2am for milk followed by another sleep until 6am; but gradually reduced the milk in the night until he got through until 5am, then this was pushed forward to 6am after a while).

 

[kitten2014]

lol our lil miss the same with bath, we do weekly bath at 3/4pmish before final nap of the day as she also gets excited/enjoys bathtime...

good luck let us know how u get on...

 

[babyscotcher]

Got him up at 8.45 today instead of the usual 10am. Thought I should get earlier slowly rather than all at once. He then fought all morning to not have a nap and eventually fell asleep about 12.45pm. Hopefully he might squeeze in another nap at around 4 pm before a bath and then trying bedtime at 7pm. X