new member

[soconfused]

wel this is all new to me and im so scared and confused. i have the support of my friends but the father is not interested as he has a new girlfriend. he wants me 2have an abortion and wont budge on the subject. then he decided that we should get a house just 4 the sake of the child and stay in seperate rooms which i dont agree with either. anybody have any ideas?
would really apreciate any points of view
xxx

 

[AmberNicole]

Well first off. You say he has a new girlfriend and no interest in keeping the baby. Just because he wants you to give the baby away, that doesn't mean you have to or should. Do you want this baby? If you do, then don't let him talk you into something you'll regret. Also, why on earth does he want to get a house together "for the sake of the child" when he doesn't even want the child and he has a new girlfriend???! That sounds a bit bizarre to me. That sounds like an ugly situation to be sucked into.

 

[Claire]

If your ex has already decided that he doesn't want to be a father (which is how it sounds since he said he wants you to give away the baby), then it is now up to you to make the big decisions for the baby. I know he contributed to the conception of the baby, but it takes more than that to be a father.

It is your body, and your baby is growing inside of you, not him. I don't know how far along you are, but as your pregnancy progresses you will feel a deep connection to your baby, and protective maternal instincts will kick in before you even see your baby. This is something very special and miraculous that you are doing (growing a baby inside you) so don't let someone take that away from you!

As far as sharing a house with him, I don't see how it could be an emotionally healthy situation, unless you are together as a couple. I can't imagine it would feel good to see your ex with other women in your very own home. And how would you feel if he would decide to have his new girlfriend move in later on? Do you really want to wake up in the morning with your little baby in your arms, and see his girlfriend walk out of his room? Not that this is going to happen, but it could.

 

[newbump]

You have to be so sure about what you want out of your life, and how you feel about your baby. I agree that just because he has contributed to the conception does not make him a daddy!

Living together or being together will only hurt all 3 of you in the future. He may change his mind on wether he wants to be involved as time goes on. It is only fair he still has that option, but he must be aware that it is on your terms and dont let him upset you. You are meant to be happy at this time of your life!!

Hope you work everything out
Take care
Natalie