Need advice- coming back after miscarriage :(

[Kholl]

Hi everyone. I’m currently having a miscarriage. It feels like the only thing that could help is being pregnant again, but I can’t imagine being pregnant and losing the baby again so I’m terrified to even try. I’m in such despair I don’t know what to do.

If you’ve had a loss, above all, I am so terribly sorry. This is devastating beyond imagining. And also, how long did you wait before trying again? Was your cycle affected?

Thanks in advance.

 

[SmithyBaby]

Firstly, I'm so sorry for your loss as it's a terrible thing to go through. No one can tell you how to grieve and take the time you need to heal. We are all here to help!
I suffered my CP in March and I was devastated as it was the first time I had ever been pregnant and I was about 5 weeks along. The bleeding took about 10 days to stop (with only two truly horrific days) but we felt like we wanted to go right back to it. That was how we felt but you may find you feel differently.
I caught before my next AF and I count myself lucky. I had to track my bbt and cm closely as I never got ewcm only wet. I didn't even think I ovulated as I didn't get the usual signs and never had a positive opk. I only took a test out of curiosity and it was positive which was a shock as we only bd three times.
My point is it can happen straight away but give yourself the emotional and physical time and it will happen when it's meant to. I wish you all the best and I'm really truly sorry this happened to you. The fear hasn't left me but the joy has come back. Love and hugsxxx

 

[Phillipa]

Hi Kholl, I'm so sorry to hear you are going through this, I know how tough it is
I suffered my MC 4 weeks ago tomorrow, I don't say I'm over it, because I never will be, but I have moved on and my husband and I are actively TTC again already. It is a personal choice for us both, as we wanted to get back to normality after I stopped bleeding.
Take whatever time you need and let your body recover in its own time, everyone does things differently.
I am currently in my first TWW (I think), so waiting to see how things turn out!

Much love and care to you in this time. xxxx

 

[Akua]

I’m in the same position as you. Although my mmc was diagnosed last week, bleeding only really started yesterday (should be 12 weeks today). Whilst me and my husband are devastated, we know we’re going to start trying again as soon as the bleeding stops. We’re also going to buy something for the garden to remember our baby that we lost

 

[xMillie]

So sorry again Kholl. Take all the time that you need emotionally and physically before trying again. Only you will know when you are ready xx

We started trying straight away when the bleeding stopped and my cycles went back to normal pretty much.

I think it’s more likely with early losses that everything goes back to normal fairly quickly. I felt so different in the first week after my bfp but then all my symptoms were just gone one day and my hcg blood results 48 hours apart had dropped so fast.

Thinking of you xx

 

[Kholl]

Thank you ladies so much for your responses. I have been truly blindsided by the depth of the grief and emotional pain this has caused. The level of heartbreak is unreal.

Is there any downside or health risk (to me or to a potential pregnancy/baby) to getting pregnant before my cycle returns? I know that's wishful thinking and I doubt it would happen, I'm just curious. I'll also ask the nurse when I talk to her on Friday... I have to keep going in for blood draws until my level reaches zero. Hopefully there will be no trace of hcg at the next blood test, I'd love to not have to keep going in

 

[Kholl]

Akua, something for the garden is a great idea. I've been wondering the same thing. It feels appropriate to have a keepsake/rememberance, but all reminders are so painful too. My friend sent flowers and I had my husband take them downstairs to the basement where I wouldn't have to see them...

 

[Sunflower1]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had a mscarriage about 5 weeks ago. I bled for two weeks, had a scan to confirm and then waited til the cycle after my next period. It's good to have a scan to make sure it's all cleared and then I'd get advice from the hospital. My first cyle was a bit odd...I had five and a half days of flashing smileys, so we ended up dtd for days on end. I did ovulate.

I heard that women are more fertile after a miscarriage so didn't want to wait. But you do need to confirm that the miscarriage is straightforward and that no surgery is necessary to clear it.

Health risks to just going ahead I'd say was that if there are complications from your miscarriage you want to sort them out first, plus I think if it hasn't cleared you can get an infection. Also I found the mc beyond physically exhausting, so you might want to give your body a few weeks to recover.

I would definitely get medical advice though.

The hormones stick around for a few weeks and also make you feel awful.

 

[Sunflower1]

By the way the Japanese have a little figure calld Jizo who protects unborn and lost children. You can buy little statues for indoors and outdoors. In Japan parents who have lost babies and children offer them sweets and toys for their children in the afterlife. Someone told me about it after my mc and I thought it was lovely. We don't have any rituals around mc in the West, and we aren't supposed to talk about pregnancy in the early stages so it can be very isolating.

 

[Sunflower1]

Don't know if this is useful http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-38144027

 

[xMillie]

Thank you ladies so much for your responses. I have been truly blindsided by the depth of the grief and emotional pain this has caused. The level of heartbreak is unreal.

Is there any downside or health risk (to me or to a potential pregnancy/baby) to getting pregnant before my cycle returns? I know that's wishful thinking and I doubt it would happen, I'm just curious. I'll also ask the nurse when I talk to her on Friday... I have to keep going in for blood draws until my level reaches zero. Hopefully there will be no trace of hcg at the next blood test, I'd love to not have to keep going in

I know doctors don’t like you to get pregnant before Your cycle returns as it makes the new pregnancy harder to date but I don’t think there is any other reason for not xx