Need a hug (and a rant!!)

[giggles1982]

OMG my husband is so annoying, I have sat here crying now all day because

a) he is stressing that we will be broke after baby is born and after lenghtly discussions before we concieved I agreed against my will to go back FT after 4 month (I originally wanted at least 6) NOW he wants me to go back to work after just 2 months!!!!! NOT HAPPENING

b) stressing that he is bored because i wanted a day at home instead of the constant running around that I do

c) and again after lenghtly discussions before we concieved I always wanted at least 2 children, now HE says he doesnt want another after this - he already has 3 others and he will be 50 before they leave home!!!

So annoyed i waiting so long to have children and tried to do it right , get a good job, settle down, get married, etc, now just feel like I wasted years as it still FAR for right.

Most frustrating husband will not talk to me about anything, which stresses me out even more, starting to feel like he pushing me beyond my limits and I cant cope anymore.

Also now 15 weeks and everyone says i start to feel better now - i dont i feel completely exhausted still and even having a shower is to much effort, start to feel really depressed and not enjoying my pregnancy at all.

 

[Olive]

oh hun, I hope you're ok.

Sound like he is having a bad day and taking it out on you! Do you think he's serious about it? Had you discussed how many kids you wanted before?

I hope you're ok. Hopefully he is just panicking and over reacting as a result.

Lots of xxx

PS I'm still tired and don't think OH gets it either. Xx

 

[i.love]

going back to work after 2 months??? why, can't you get maternity allowance?.. That's really not very realistic.

I hope you can work it out xx

 

[star fish]

Can you write all that down in a note to him? If he wont talk just write it all down and then maybe he can see how unreasonable it all is when its actually on paper? Or leave this page open on your computer
for him to find? I feel for you, my husband is really worried about money and wants me to work full time up until the birth, but like you I am exhausted and have cut my hours right down, which is creating rows, but I dont care, I need the extra time in bed and he can worry elsewhere if he doesnt like it!

 

[1986princess]

i hope u can put it in a letter or something to get your point across, im sure u will turn him round about baby 2 also. my oh can be difficult like this and say something totally ridiculous but soon changes his tun. hope u feel better soon hun. x

 

[giggles1982]

going back to work after 2 months??? why, can't you get maternity allowance?.. That's really not very realistic.

I hope you can work it out xx

I am main bread winner and he is stay at home dad, so maternity allowance of £123 a week compared to my normal wage in excess of £500 per week unfortunately doesnt touch the sides - but I have agreed to work FT up to xmas, due 10th Jan 2012, and have 6 weeks off and then work 1 day a week for 10 weeks, then back FT. NOT NOT NOT going back FT any earlier I want to breastfeed, bond, etc.

He agrees I need time to "recover" but come on 2 months?!?!?! If he'd said that before then we could have discussed and decided best route, but saying it now im 15 wekks preggers what do I do?? (Except muerder!!!)

 

[giggles1982]

Can you write all that down in a note to him? If he wont talk just write it all down and then maybe he can see how unreasonable it all is when its actually on paper? Or leave this page open on your computer
for him to find? I feel for you, my husband is really worried about money and wants me to work full time up until the birth, but like you I am exhausted and have cut my hours right down, which is creating rows, but I dont care, I need the extra time in bed and he can worry elsewhere if he doesnt like it!

I wish I had your strength!! I come home sleep, wake up , eat and sleep , I starting to feel like I have no life so worried what it will be like later in pregnancy I'm only 15 weeks and been so lucky as not had morning sickness, just extreme tiredness, they should create a sport!!! Off to bed again now, god I love weekends this is my 3rd sleep today, not got out of pj's all day *BLISS*

 

[angelmma]

Giggles, sorry youre feeling down I have the extreme tiredness, although its starting to lift abit too. Ive never experienced tiredness like it (even when my DD was a baby and woke every hour at night for a feed it wasnt this bad). Your OH is being unrealistic about you returning to work after 2 months is unrealistic. Do you not get paid full maternity pay (your normal salary) for the first 6 months? I know we do, then it gets cut to the £123 a week. Also are you not entitled to tax credits if youre gonna be earning less money for a period of time. Id phone them and check it out. As for having other kids, if your husband knew that you wanted 2 before yous concieved and agreed to it, he cant just go back on his word. Ifs he worried about money then Id suggest to him that maybe he should get a job for the first 6 months after the baby is born to help you out. You need time to recover and bond, otherwise it could send you into PND Good luck, hope ya get everything sorted out xxx

 

[Pickledonions]

i thin the no more kids is a gut reaction to his worries to you not being able to afford this one, which by the way is rubbis. You will cope. I think once you have your first he will see that its doable and he wont be so adamant. Also dont forget (and im by no means on his side) that its a huge worry for fathers to be, the responsibility really falls on them to provide and it can panic alot of men. I know mine has felt this way and hes told me. Your obviously going to be earning alot less so I can uderstand his worries. 2 months tho...Pah dream on take the time off you want

 

[redbear]

Can he not get a short term job to boost wages while you are at home for six months - He can't make you go back after two moths just say no and if you have a problem with it you better get yourself to the job center!! (im so mean to my hubby we have agreed i need at least a year off but my wage was only low to start with) x