My friends tough time...

[JSS]

Hello everyone... I wondered if you could offer some advice for my friend.

After trying to conceive for 2 years she went to her doctor and was refered to the hospital for a laparoscopy. They discovered there that her tubes were badly damaged and they told her she has very little chance of conceiving naturally, and if she did it would probably be ectopic.

Obviously she has been devasted by this news. She has already has a 8 year old son from a previous relationship but is due to get marrried next year and hoped to have a family with her new husband.

She has looked into IVF and has plans to start it after her wedding.

This week she had been feeling quite unwell and had a bad case of diarrhoea (sorry for tmi!) Then on Wednesday night she lost a huge amount of blood. She said it wasn't like anything she had experienced before and there was a lot of clots.

She went to the doctor the next day who suspects she has suffered a miscarriage. This has knocked her for six again as she was told it was highly unlikely she could conceive naturally.

If she has miscarried then this obviously means she can get pregnant and it might happen again for her? What do you think?

As you can imagine it's a sensitive subject.. Not helped by me being pregnant. We are very close though...and I want to help her through this as best as I can. What can I do?

I don't really know what I am expecting you to tell me. Maybe I just need to get it off my chest and see if there is anyone else out there who has been in a similar situation. Even if there are any ladies who have been diagnosed with damaged tubes.. please reply as I'd be interested to know what treatment (if any) you had.

Sorry for the long post x

(Also posted in the miscarriage forum)

 

[lizziechick]

Hi there
I think the main thing is to be there for your friend over the next few months - I have been in similar situation with my best friend - i wanted a baby so desperately even with Endo and got pregnant when my B/F was 10 weeks gone, but lost the baby at 22 weeks whilst she has gone on to have a beautiful liitle boy. It has been hard for us as whilst i was grieving for my daughter she was coming to terms with motherhood - but we have stuck in there and she has given me space, respect and lots of support but not overwhelming - and that is something i will cherish from her.
As for your friends situation i would advise that she asks to speak to a counsellor about this. i found it to be the best thing i have done, i also have probelms conceiving and now have to take a deep breath and handle the Cr*p that life deals you and keep on hoping. it is a rubbish situation and sometimes i want to scream at the unfairness - but there is always a glimmer of hope.

lol Liz xx