Mum's with big age gaps - what's changed?

[Becky]

I've noticed that there's a lot that's changed in terms of ante-natal care and recommendations in the 3 years since I had DD so I was wondering:

1) what's the biggest change between having your first and last children.
2) what hasn't changed (good or bad)
3) overall are things better or worse or have all the "advances" not made much difference?

 

[aramintalovegrove]

I have an 8 year gap but I had totally different pregancies and was very closley monitored so will discount anything to do with that in order to answer.

1) what's the biggest change between having your first and last children.

I think that the major difference is the choices that you get to make have changed so much ie you actually get a choice now.

When I had my first the only real choice you got was pain relief and if you were lucky and had a mad futuristic MW you would be allowed to maybe move from the bed when labouring

When I was pregnant the first time a homebirth was not an option for your first baby it was in the hospital and it was very rare that you got out until you had spent a night in the hospital too.

Medical intervention on the whole has lessened. With my first having a tens machine and waiting for pain relief was 'far out', most of the time you were advised to start pain relief early in and top up as you go, they also had you in the hospital for any ailment or twinge, now you have to fight your way in during the last stages of labour

Every mother had to bath their baby infront of a MW before they were discharged from hospital, even if it was your 6th baby, Im sooooo glad that rule has gone

2) what hasn't changed (good or bad) well the biology is still the same and the appauling decor of the labour suites

I think most things have changed a little or at least there is more research to prove this or that.

3) overall are things better or worse or have all the "advances" not made much difference?
I think its much better.

I like the fact we are a more informed society and can get information more freeley with the internet to make better choices, I think that has led to many of the changes. (ok so there was the internet when I had DS but most people didnt have the access they have now to it). Its great hospitals have started to let nature do alot of the work after all its what our bodies have been tuned to do for eternity. Things like being encouraged to shout/scream to cope with the pain (I was told to shut up and not scare others in the labour suite with my first and told to let go as it helps with the pain with my last) simple things like that make such a difference I feel.

 

[Squiglet]

There's 8 years between my two too...

1) what's the biggest change between having your first and last children.
Gah...feeding... Breast was always best, but the education, support and advice was non existant and formula was easily resorted to...no wonder so many people quit back then Then solids... No such thing as BLW... and the advice which is in my health book (UK health book) clearly states you must wean between 3 -4 months. Which I did as a good mum advised by my HV. Now it seems that might have horrifically damaged my childs intestines having done so...

1)2) what hasn't changed (good or bad)
Ineptitude of doctors when the baby/kids really sick and well babies poop, pee, puke, cry, feed and cry as always

1)3) overall are things better or worse or have all the "advances" not made much difference?
Dunno all the queer things I did with my baby 9 years ago... that made me a "hippy tree hugger" mum damaging my kid... I breastfed, cloth nappied, baby wore, co slept, baby signed, never used bottles, got Tia feeding herself by 9 month.... are all fashionable and correct now... So thats improved...

But people are sooooo much more panicky about things now... a slight bump to the head, weaning before exactly 6 months etc, letting the "evil" Sposies (disposible nappies) touch your baby's skin and poison them, using pot foods Babies aren't that fragile... if they were the human race would have died out long ago. So thats gotten worse imo...

 

[Fly]

1) what's the biggest change between having your first and last children.

I think the biggest change is the amount of support i've been given to get breastfeeding established... ten years ago when my Charlie was 6 week prem and on scbu i got NO support whatsoever.. apart from my Mum that is who never had to feed a premmie baby before...it was absolutely disgusting how little support was available back then and I have been totally blown away with how much support is available to me ten years on...

2) what hasn't changed (good or bad)

Consultant's paranoia hasn't changed much - they still like to fill your head with scare statistics doing their duty to keep people "informed" pfffft. I was certainly glad of having the benefit of being ten years older to be able to deal better with the consultant...

3) overall are things better or worse or have all the "advances" not made much difference?

I'd say on the whole things are a million times better ten years on. I had a big mistrust of hospitals and interventions after the birth of Charlie ten years ago, and this was something i had to work on through my pregnancy.. but I have been totally blown away by the wonderful care and support i was shown in the consultant led unit when i was having Henry. I am finding the post-natal support alot more mother-focussed this time round and am gobsmacked by how much there is going on in my town for new mum's,.... two breastfeeding clubs, postnatal exercise group run by the health visiting team.. the healthvisitors are really laid back.. i was shocked when i asked how often i was expected to attend clinic and she gave me a funny look and said "we don't expect you to come at all if you don't want to!!" ten years ago if you missed a week they'd treat you like the worst mother in the world ever at the next clinic