Mums very sick.. 2nd update pg2

[gemmap27]

dont really know where to post this....
I am crying as i write this...

Mums very very sick. She has had emphysema for about 5 years now and has got slowly worse. (she gave up smoking 8 years ago). This last 6 mths she has become more breathless and 2 weeks ago got an infection that resulted in them bringing oxygen into the house. On monday she was admitted to hospital and they were changing her meds, I saw her a couple of times and on saturday my older sister and I were sat by her bed laughing and joking with her. She was still poorly but I wasnt prepared for yesterday!
I was having a great day with alex, he has been really settled this week and has been a joy to be around, and then I got a phonecall saying mum had gone rapidly down hill. We all rushed to the hospital to find out she had almost died. I was in total shock. She has gone down hill so rapidly we were not ready for this, we thought we had a few years left with her and she would get slowly worse, but it now looks like we have only got a few weeks possibly months left with her, if she pulls through this episode. We have been to see her this morning and she is still very poorly but was able to talk and even had something to drink.
I am just so sad, becuase everytime I look at alex I can help thinking that shes not going to see him grow up, Hes not going to even remember her. I cant stop crying. Shes not going to make it to his christening (which i am probably going to have to cancel) and she wont be at my wedding next year.
I am so strong when I am around mum, I dont think she realises how bad it is, I dont cry, but when I am sat here on my own I am a mess. I cant cope with this. She is only 59.
Sorry if i am rambling i really need to get this off my chest and putting it into words helps.
We havent had a close relationship until the last few years and I was using my maternity leave to spend lots of time with her and up until 2 weeks ago we were going out every couple of days together and have loved her spending time with alex. I am so scared about whats going to happen over the next couple of weeks. like I said I thought we had years!
My dad is a mess too - I havent seen him cry since his dad died when I was 8 (i am 29 now) and yesterday he looked broken. He was a little better when i saw him this morning but he didnt sleep because he stayed at the hospital.
I really dont know what I am supposed to do - I was struggling to cope with alex over the last few weeks but since we changed his food he has been great, but now I just feel like i cant cope. Everything is such a mess.

 

[rhian85]

aww hun im so sorry i hope she gets stronger for u

 

[Jen & Her Men]

Oh hun. I will say a prayer that she gets stronger. Really sorry chick.

 

[Sammystar]

 

[kmac]

don't really know what to say
sorry about your mum

 

[sarah113]

 

[Babylicious]

I've been through the same with my Mum hun

Is she on the donor list? Does she have a nebuliser?

 

[purple13]

 

[gemmap27]

Update...


I went to see mum monday afternoon and she was on a smaller breathing mask (not the powerfull one) and seemed more settled, but at 4.30am tuesday morning I had a call to go to the hospital asap. I called my freind who lives close by and she sat with alex while my partner and I rushed to the hospital. I was first met by my dad, who told me mum had taken a turn for the worst and was dying. He was a total wreck and then we sat by her bed, my two brothers, my sister and her husband and simon and I. Mum was still awake but her stats were very low. She was writing down notes to us all and we all gave her kiss goodbye and told her we loved her, and waited (that was the hardest part just waiting..) She was clutching a photo of alex I took her the night before and wouldnt let it go. She wrote that it was to go with her, and we had to sort out photos of the other 3 grandsons too. We sat there for hours and hours, and finally a nurse came in and told her she had made a massive improvement and had picked up again. It was such a roller coaster of emotions. I can honestly say that was the hardest day of my life so far.
Shes still not out of the woods by any means, she still has her chest drain in and is still on strong oxygen but shes holding her own, and fighting with all her strength.
Today I have had a good chat with her and she even read the paper. Shes eaten and had lots to drink. And she has coped with the smaller mask allday.
I know that if she makes it home she will probably be bed bound but I will am so gratefull for everyday that we get to talk, and she can see alex if she comes home. I would give anything for her to hear him laugh, hes only just started doing it. and only the week before last I went to see her and we sat on her bed and alex fell asleep next to her.
Yesterday we all thought that was it and we have another 36hrs with her.
I have also said things to her that I have waned to tell her for a long time, and if she does pass away without me being there then I feel comfortable knowing that I have had this time with her.


Babylicious - mum has gone from being breathless but mobile and active to nearly dying in a couple of days, its been such a quick deterioration that shes not even discussed transplants. only a couple of months ago a consultant ruled out a lung rededuction, as her lungs were too bad. If she makes it through this I am going to try everything I can to get her the best possible care, I have been looking into transplant information and I am going to ask my dad in a couple of days (make sure shes getting better) why she hasnt been put forward yet. She hadnt even had oxygen and the nebuliser in the house that long, 3 days before she went in to hospital.

 

[lauramumof2]

for you and your family.

 

[sarafet]

really hoping your mum pulls through this hun, must be such a hard time for you and your family you are all in my thoughts

 

[Krystal]

aww hun I really feel for you. That must have been so hard. I'm glad you got to say some things to your Mam. She sounds like she's a strong lady. Enjoy every single moment you have left. Time for grieving is once someone passes not before. I know it's hard but stay strong and i'm thinking of you

 

[~*Leanne*~]

awww hun im sorry, my thoughts are with you, your mum and your family. hope she starts getting stronger hunny

 

[puppylove]

Thinking of you all sending lots of to you all

 

[Babylicious]

Was it a chest infection that triggered this? Thats what happened to my Mum. She was on high dosage steriods too.

I hope she pulls through I never even got to say goodbye

 

[welshpolly]

I am thinking of you and hope your Mum will keep getting stronger

 

[Xena]

oh hun I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

 

[gemmap27]

Well I cant believe I am saying this after tuesday morning - but shes still here! and getting stronger! I have to say shes a real fighter! She has a long way to go and her health will be nowhere near what it used to be but shes still here. She may even have the chest drain out Monday. She is looking at spending many weeks in hospital too, but I will go and see her everyday and take her photos of alex.
We are taking one day at a time and treasuring every moment we get to spend with her!


Babylicious - it was lucky she was already in hospital when it happened or she wouldnt be here now! She had a bad chest infection, but because she was so stubborn never told any of us how bad it was and then when we realised it took us a couple of days to get her to go to hospital. I dont think she will ever refuse again!