I have a dilemma!*UPDATE*

[MissGobby]

right all of you, or most of you, know that i am 'seeing' this lad. well i told my best mate that i really liked him the other day and she got really defensive saying that she really liked him and has done since college etc etc....but the thing is she hasnt seen him in like 2 years or something...anyway we both REALLY like each other and he has said he wants to go out with me and that but i was scared to tell my mate, so last night we all went out and he said to her 'what do you think she would say if i asked her out', i was in the loo at this point, so she came running into loo tellin me and when i told her i really liked him she got mardy on REAL bad and stomped off and went home. i dont know what to do, my mates and him think she is being VERY childish, i mean like i said she cant like him that much because she has only seen him twice in like 2 years and he has made it obvious to her that he doesnt like her!!! why cant she just be happy for me?????

 

[frangelle]

See there's 2 sides, on one side you should NEVER let a bloke come between your mates, I have alwasy backed away from any bloke my friends have liked, even if we liked each other because I know how horrible it is when your mate and someone you like flaunt themselves in front of you

HOWEVER, if she doesn't really know him that well, it just sounds like she's being jealous. Does she not get much attention from men? If she only sees him like once a year, it sounds like she is being pathetic. I'd got for it hun

 

[SarahH]

I say go for it!!! Sounds like she is still dreaming about her childhood crush!!

The same happened with me and my friends - she got with a guy I REALL@Y liked at school and she called me at 3am to ask if it was ok!! I was like, course it is, I fancied him years ago, not now!!

I think she should be happy for you!!

 

[mum2be?]

I will say it is a hard decision to make, however if it feels right got for it

If she is a friend she will get over it quietly

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Sounds like the green eyed monster has come out. If she liked him that much she would have made more of a effort to dtay in contact and asked him out.
He cant help it if he dont fancy her and likes you, dont let it bother you and tell your friend shes being a bit childish.

She will get over it dont worry.

 

[frangelle]

I say go for it!!! Sounds like she is still dreaming about her childhood crush!!

The same happened with me and my friends - she got with a guy I REALL@Y liked at school and she called me at 3am to ask if it was ok!! I was like, course it is, I fancied him years ago, not now!!

I think she should be happy for you!!

I must say in sixth form my friend got with this bloke I'd liked for a year, even though she knew I liked him, and I still put on a brave face for them. Even when they were canoodling right in front of me

 

[muppetmummy]

Seeing as she hasn't seen him much in the past couple years, and he has already made it clear he doesn't fancy her I'd just go for it.
I'd try not to rub her nose in it though. I'm sure she'll come around once she gets used to it. Has he got a mate for her?

 

[Snuggle]

She'll get used to the idea, dont let her stop you going for it

 

[happy-chick]

Go for it, if shes a true friend then she'll see that shes being selfish and be happy for you

 

[little*red]

ive been in this situation, me and my mate fancied the same guy , he really liked her so tere was no choice in it. whats the point in stopping your friend goin out with someone if they like each other, its hard to bear but if she was any friend she'd be happy for you, wouldnt she rather make you happy than make you both miserable?

Id go for it if i were you and if she is a bitch to you then she wasnt really your friend at all.
My friend and the guy we fanicied ended up together for over 2 years before they split.

 

[MissGobby]

thanks girls! i have told her that we are seeing each other and she wants us to 'talk', she is obviously not a happy bunny with me with the way she is with me but if it was him that liked her and not me then i would tell her to go for it, i thought thats what friendship was all about?

it is really getting me down but i really REALLY like this lad and thought she would have been happy for me - i mean we have been out to the pub 3 times in the past week with him but other than that she aint seen him for like 2-3 years!!!!!!

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Exactly missg, and tell her that too, tell thast there would be no bad feelings if the shoe was on the other foot.And if she was a mature and good mate then she woud stop giving you a hard time.
And as for the talk - theres no need for one.She should stop being a jealous school girl.

 

[Misslarue]

Personaly I would step a side for a bit. frangelle is spot on you should NEVER let a bloke come between your mates. I would hate to hurt my best mate and knowing it would upset her I just couldn't do it. Yes she's acting childish but that's what happens when feelings are involved! Give her some time and she more than likely realise how blinkered shes being.
Also you've just came out of a long term relationship now is the time you and your mate should be hitting the town and having some real quality girl time! It will do you good to have some 'me' time for a while

 

[trixipaws]

if she was a really good friend then she'd accept that its you he likes and be happy for you. x

 

[emma28]

Personaly I would step a side for a bit. frangelle is spot on you should NEVER let a bloke come between your mates. I would hate to hurt my best mate and knowing it would upset her I just couldn't do it. Yes she's acting childish but that's what happens when feelings are involved! Give her some time and she more than likely realise how blinkered shes being.
Also you've just came out of a long term relationship now is the time you and your mate should be hitting the town and having some real quality girl time! It will do you good to have some 'me' time for a while

I third that MissG. Have some quality time with your friends and have fun, I'd be wanting a rest from men after all you've been through recently

 

[MissGobby]

thats what i wanted, some 'me' time for a while BUT i really REALLY like him and he really likes me - anyway i am going up to see my mate tonight and try and sort this out.

 

[Emmylou]

Personaly I would step a side for a bit. frangelle is spot on you should NEVER let a bloke come between your mates. I would hate to hurt my best mate and knowing it would upset her I just couldn't do it. Yes she's acting childish but that's what happens when feelings are involved! Give her some time and she more than likely realise how blinkered shes being.
Also you've just came out of a long term relationship now is the time you and your mate should be hitting the town and having some real quality girl time! It will do you good to have some 'me' time for a while

I third that MissG. Have some quality time with your friends and have fun, I'd be wanting a rest from men after all you've been through recently

I fourth this........take it easy for a bit too, maybe just see him casually, as getting straight into a new relationship this soon might mess with your head (however good it may feel now).
Keep in touch with this guy, explain how recently you left your last (very long & serious) relationship, and that you just don't want to rush straight into something else, as it wouldn't be fair on either of you.
With regards to your friend though, I def think you're right to have a talk with her about it and get it all out in the air


EDIT: I meant to get across too thatif he's really interested in a relationship with you, he will happily take things casually/ slowly at the start so you can make sure in your head you are making the right decision before you formalise anything

 

[MissGobby]

well girls i went up to her house last night and we had a VERY long talk - talked non-stop for like 2 hours LOL

anyway i told her how i felt about seeing him and the same how he feels about me and that anyhow after a long talk she said that she just wants me to get to know him more rather than jumping into a relationship straight away....which i can understand where she is coming from BUT i said that i know i want to be in a relationship with him so for the time being, in the next few weeks, we are just going to spend some time together, me and him and then me, him and our mates and then hopefully by the time my mum goes on holiday we will be together!!!

im off to his house again tonight though

 

[frangelle]

im off to his house again tonight though

You're gonna get sore missy

 

[MissGobby]

im off to his house again tonight though

You're gonna get sore missy

you have such a dirty mind Frangelle - what do you think we will be getting up to???