Money and relationship problems :(

[Rachel1509]

I'm going to try and cut this short, otherwise I'll whittle on and they'll be a massive page of writing!

Me and OH live in a private rented house. We've been here about 6 months and it's our first house together. When we first moved in, our circumstances were a lot different. I wasn't pregnant for starters, OH was in a great, well paid job and I was just about to begin a full-time job myself, so money wasn't a problem for us at all.
Then a few weeks after been here, my hours were cut at work from 39 to 25. Then I found out I was pregnant, then OH was put on sick for about 3 months and we proper struggled to pay the bills with his sick pay and my part-time wages, but we waded through.

Now, I'm still working 25hrs a week with no increase of hours in the near future, OH had to leave that job he was in due to been treated unfairly and shafted out by managers, so now works in a gadget shop (first thing that was offered) but his hours seem to be 32 max at the moment.

We're just not managing our bills anymore. Every single month we have to pay rent, council tax, gas & electric, sky, bus fares to work, phone bills, food shopping every week.. all while trying to save up and buy things for our unborn baby.

I know we won't last long in this house as we can't financially manage it anymore, that's why I've held back on decorating his nursery, because I know it will be a waste of money and effort.
My mum has always said I can stay with her if I ever need to, and she only lives down the road, but because of rifts involving my OH and my family, my OH wouldn't be welcome into the house, only I would be. I've suggested to OH we have no other option but to temporarily stay with parents until baby is born but he's having none of it, saying he refuses to miss out on my last months of pregnancy and watching our baby develop and move inside me, which is fair enough, but he can't see how we might need to sacrifice this, because surely it would be so much worse having this hassle once the baby is here?

What do I do?

 

[MrsR]

Could you apply for council rented? Not ideal but maybe better than living with parents? Or could you sit down with your parents with your partner and have a talk about what's gone on in the past regarding the rift and try to solve it? Have you applied for all benefits you are entitled to? x tbh I can see your pov and you OH's, it must be such a difficult position!


Ignore any mistakes-my iPhone is addicted to autocorrect!

 

[nikki8092]

I was about to say the same! Have you applied for tax credits as you may already be entitled to those. I agree with perhaps contacting the council to see if you can get a house with them. xx

 

[Rachel1509]

I've been on council list since I was 16. As soon as my OH left his job, we went to council to change our circumstances but the guy we spoke to basically said it changes nothing, we aren't entitled to any help towards our bills (oh wait, he said we could have about £7 towards our council tax.. ). We aren't seen as priority for a council house until baby is born.
I wanted everything settled and stable BEFORE baby was here. Don't wanna be allover the place at peoples houses while pregnant. I'm so stressed out it's unreal

 

[leesey]

Just a thought, but have you thought about downsizing for a while? We've just moved from a 3 bedroom house to a one-bedroom flat to save money overall over the next year. It was a shock to the system as we have so much stuff but we just put some stuff in storage and we have an attic here as well. As for baby stuff, they don't need a nursery for the first few months, a crib or a moses basket will do for a while, then they can move into a cot later when you have more room.

I know it's horrible moving house, a lot of stress, but probably not as much stress as the thought of being broke xx

 

[Rachel1509]

Just a thought, but have you thought about downsizing for a while? We've just moved from a 3 bedroom house to a one-bedroom flat to save money overall over the next year. It was a shock to the system as we have so much stuff but we just put some stuff in storage and we have an attic here as well. As for baby stuff, they don't need a nursery for the first few months, a crib or a moses basket will do for a while, then they can move into a cot later when you have more room.

I know it's horrible moving house, a lot of stress, but probably not as much stress as the thought of being broke xx

Yeah I would happily downsize, as long as I have a roof over my babys head and somewhere to keep him warm I don't mind.

We've had to tell our landlord we can't afford the rent this month, so we've got until 5th January to get out of the house. Massive stress moving our things at Christmas time!
Going to council tomorrow to explain our situation.. doubt it will make much difference but I need to try something!

 

[pregpixie76]

your landlord cant throw u out for 1 missed payment without serving an eviction notice,speak to the housing charity shelter u can find them on the net and they have a phone helpline.sky is a luxury not an essential so start thinking about getting rid of bills u dont need to have.as for rent sometimes councils will make discretionary rent payments and if you are on tax credits i think u might be able to apply for either a crisis loan or a budgeting loan.electric and gas bills can be reduced by talking to your providers if u are on a low income and struggling to cope with high prices.if u have enough energy trying to find a second job might help or it might be wiser to give up work altogether and claim benefits .
i hope your situation sorts itself out and u finally get a council house although from watching progs i know there is a shortage of council houses in england.gd lk xx

 

[Rachel1509]

your landlord cant throw u out for 1 missed payment without serving an eviction notice,speak to the housing charity shelter u can find them on the net and they have a phone helpline.sky is a luxury not an essential so start thinking about getting rid of bills u dont need to have.as for rent sometimes councils will make discretionary rent payments and if you are on tax credits i think u might be able to apply for either a crisis loan or a budgeting loan.electric and gas bills can be reduced by talking to your providers if u are on a low income and struggling to cope with high prices.if u have enough energy trying to find a second job might help or it might be wiser to give up work altogether and claim benefits .
i hope your situation sorts itself out and u finally get a council house although from watching progs i know there is a shortage of council houses in england.gd lk xx

Thanks for the reply

Well basically, we told our landlord that we are having financial problems and will struggle paying the rent this month, this was returned with a basic reply of 'well if you cannot keep up with the payments then you will be ending your tenancy early'. Which I guess is overall the best option because even if we struggled to pay this month, we will keep having the same struggle every single month until baby is here, then it would be even worse!
Seen as this is mine and OH's first house together and first experience of private rent, we did what the landlord asked and put our ending of tenancy in writing and he told us to be out by 5th January and that he would be keeping our bond money because we've broken our contract.

We went to the council, then we spoke to somebody else in the same building who said she would be deciding whether to give us priority or not, she was really understanding and friendly so I think that should go in our favour. We also went to Shelter about the bond situation, as the council said they shouldn't be allowed to keep our bond.

I've got to take a few documents back to her next week so she can make her decision by our eviction date, then if we get priority, we will be put into temporary accommodation until we are given a house.

Bit of a mess, but if its what we need to do to get a more secure future for our baby, we will have to do it

 

[leesey]

Sorry but he absolutely can't keep your bond simply because you've broken the contract, unless it specifically says that in your tenancy agreement. Your security deposit can only be kept if the property or furnishings are in a state of disrepair when you move out, or for other damages.

I would go to citizens advice with your tenancy agreement in hand and get someone to check whether or not he can legally do this.

 

[leesey]

By the way I know this because I'm a landlord!! I had to withhold a deposit previously because the tenant totally wrecked our wooden floor by wearing stiletto heels, and even at that I had a hard time justifying keeping the deposit back.

 

[pregpixie76]

i hope u get your bond back and that the council house u even if it is temp accom it keeps u OH and baby together once baby gets here.moving is stressful anytime and your landlord sound like a dk.if the house was substandard in any way ie not really fit to be a rental property take lots of photos of problems and show them to the council and then he might loose his right to rent it out........

 

[Eilishnbean]

Im sure if you tell the council you have no where to go after you move they would have to help you x

 

[Rachel1509]

Thanks for the replies

Well we dug the tenancy agreement out and it does actually say that if the tenancy is ended early then the fee for that is a full months rent (which is the same amount as the bond).
We've got to go back to the housing this week sometime and show our council officer the tenancy agreement and some recent wage slips. Then she will make her final decision on whether to give us housing priority or not.

Another kick in the teeth - we got a txt message off the agency today saying they're showing people round our house this Thursday at 1pm and we have to vacate the house at this time and they'll let themselves in. Makes it all real

 

[pregpixie76]

im keeping my fingers crossed for u that u and oh are given priority by the council.i need a bigger house once pumpkin is born but id rather get it out of the way before she/he gets here but i live on an island and 3 bed houses/flats are so hard to come by.