money and in-laws!!!! (bit of a rant)

[tuck]

I am fuming (to put it mildly), my MIL has just telephoned me, i thought she was asking how I got on at Docs yesterday but NO!!!!! She is going to see her daughter on Sunday who lives on the mainland, will probably go for a week which I think will do her good to get away and see her grandchild for a bit, anyway my MIL does seasonal work like the majority of people in this area and hasnt got any money at the moment (long story) so she rang me today to ask if I would 'lend' her some money to go away with but not to tell my DH as he would go mad at her, she has suggested that I say to DH that as his mum is going away wouldnt it be nice if I gave her 200e to go with!!! so she wants me to LIE to my hubby. what she seems to forget is that we have to pay rent where we live, also still have few bits to buy for baby and also find 2000e to pay for the clinic when baby is born, plus 50e every tim we see Doctor, I dont work during the winter months and willnot be working this summer either. I know 200e is not a fortune but it is a lot when you only have 1 lot of money coming in and that is not a regular wage. I dont have a problem with lending her money (not that I will get it back) but my problem is that 2 months ago she had 5000e and blew the lot on crap and playing the lotto, my FIL wont give her money as she is no good with it which also annoys me. My SIL is always bailing her out and paying her mobile bill but my BIL never helps out unless he buys her a pack of fags once in a blue moon, it is always down to my SIL or us

so I now have to decide wether to seem a mean bitch and not give her the money (I have some savings which she knows I have but not how much) and she will then tell my SIL how mean I was or do I lie to my hubbie and give her the money as if it's a gift???? aaarrrrggggh bleedin in-laws!!!! this is not the first time she has done this either!

 

[mummykay]

tell ur DH about her wanting money, ur pregnant, not a bloody bank!!!!

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Id tell your hubby exactly what she said to you, if you lie to him for her once then she sounds like the kind of person who will do it again and again, and before you know it shes got you over a barrel. If you tell hubby its a gift, how will she ever pay it back? She wont, she will insist it was a gift.

Basically what shes doing is manipulating you into GIVING her money!

Nip it in the bud now and tell your hubby what shes doing

Good luck!

 

[jenna]

tell your DH, she might not even give it you back and then cause trouble for you and DH if you ask for it!

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Tuck

this is a tricky situation. Seems you are caught between a rock and a hard place

On balance I think honesty is the best policy here otherwise she could just go on and on asking for money in the same way. Can you have a word with your OH and maybe gently suggest he talk to his mum about finances? It really isn't fair for her to expect other people to help her out every time she gets stuck. You are all in a similar situation with regards the work.

The money you have now is earmarked for the baby. You really can't afford to subsidise someone's holiday.

I hope you can sort it out soon. x

 

[tuck]

Thought I'd just let you know what happened!!!! My MIL came round yesterday during the day whilst DH was at work (she NEVER does that) and asked about money, I said that I hadnt been able to get to bank she started going on and on and said she was leaving this morning at 9.00am so I told her I'd speak to DH when he got home. when he got home I told him his mum had asked me for 200e, he wasnt happy but didnt go off into one. anyway we agreed that we'd give her 100e and she has to pay it back when she gets paid, (we'll wait and see!!!) I also told him to tell her that I didnt want her asking again as I am not a bank and dont have an never ending supply of money.

obviously if a real emergancy ever arose then if we could we'd help out but ciggies and lotto! - no

 

[Sabrina]

Hi Tuck
I'm glad you got things sorted. Seems a very fair compromise to me.

 

[Lyn_no3]

i think you did the right thing, i think its important to remain honest with your husband and surely she cant expect things like this off you when she knows you are expecting her grandchild

good luck gettin it back

 

[frangelle]

Well done, you did the right thing

xxx

 

[mrs_tommo22]

Absoloutly not sweetie, she doesnt sound very responsible with money to me and if you know your not guna get it back, i would defo say no
Dont lie to your hubby, he will find out.It isnt wirth the hassle. Do not give her any money, if she wants it then she should get it herself, after all shes a grown woman.

 

[NIE]

Well done, you handled that very well. xxx

 

[cloud9]

seems like the right thing to do..Asking you to lie to your hubby was not fair..glad you didn't give into her

 

[jayla's mummy]

hey hun, you should tell your hubby about it. dont start lieing to him over something like this. as for your mother in law she should be offering you money not asking for it. YOU ARE NOT THE BANK OF GRECCE#
xnatx