Mission : cease nightly feedings, increase daytime solids

[beanie]

^^ WSS, I completely agree with. Phil doesn't understand how emotional this is, and when you know you can calm your child down byu giving him the boob then it is sooo hard to deny them it. I weaned seren off night feeds at 13 months when I nearly fell asleep behind the wheel on the way to work I replaced boob with dummy for comfort but she was eating a lot of solids so she soon slept through.

Would Alex snack - I am thinking of a nibble tray - like an icecube tray or similar just filled with different snacks such as raisons, cubes of cheese,slices of boiled eggs,rice cakes etc etc and he can just pick at it when he wants (as recommended by Dr Sears wo has some other good tips here) Does he like to copy Lydia, she could also have a tray perhaps if he does. There is a bookcalled "my child won't eat" by Carlos Gonzalez which my friend swears by (her son was a slow starter to solids). In fact I know a few mums who swear by this book so might be worth a read?? This might have somemore ideas clicky

and last of all you are so not a failure - you have nourished your son for over a year, how the hell is that failing. If he is alert and growing developmentally then he is healthy.

 

[Xena]

monster munch and beanie. Thanks ladies your posts have made me feel a lot better.

The thing with Phil is that he doesn't believe that Alex would settle for him. I think he genuinely believes this (although he could at least TRY if you ask me).

It's because, even when Alex is NOT boobie feeding, he's really really clingy to me. If I go upstairs, he shuffles to the bottom of the stairs crying and shouting "mamamamamamamamam" until I get back down.
If he's in my arms, and somebody else wants to hold him, he'll resist going to them very strongly. He'll cling to my top with all his might and start to squeal.
If somebody else DOES take him off me, he reaches his arms back towards me and shouts "mamamamama" and crying.

So, I think that's why Phil doesn't believe that Alex would settle for him at night. Personally I think it's worth a try, after all, I'm going back to uni next month so Alex is going to have no choice but to spend a few hours a day with my mam, so he's going to have to get used to it.

My SIL has babysat the kids a few times if we've wanted to go out for a meal or whatever, (just for about 2 or 3 hours at a time), and apparently Alex always cries for about half an hour, and then he just stops and he calms down and is okay. So although he's clingy to me, that doesn't mean it's impossible for somebody else to calm him down.

Phil knows this, but he still refuses to try. "You know he won't be happy if I have him in the night" he says. I think it's just an excuse though because he doesn't want to get out of bed


I didn't attempt to do any weaning again last night again, but he still woke up at the crack of dawn anyway (9am) and refused to go back to sleep - so I'm still tired lol. I think it's because I put some new curtains (trucks and diggers) up in his room and they let in loads of light. Prior to this, I had some plain unlined curtains up, so I used to have to cover them with tons of blankets. I bought these trucks and diggers ones though because they are lined, so I deliberately didn't put any blankets ontop of them thinking the lining would be enough.
I was wrong though. As soon as dawn broke, the room was flooded with light. It wasn't great.
So Alex woke up early and refused to drop back off (even with boob!)

I'm off to Spain next week for a week's holiday. I've been thinking that maybe it would be better to just carry on with the co-sleeping and boob feeding until I get back.. I can't imagine trying to wean him off me when we're in an unfamiliar place/bed/room and having him scream all night with Lydia in the same room as us!

I'm so worried about his weight though

As far as eating goes, it isn't that he won't take lumps. He used to have problems with them a few months ago, but now he takes them fine. He's now not even particularly picky about WHAT he eats. (Well he's not fond of veg but that's all). He'll eat meats, potatoes, pasta, fruits, fish. Not pureed, just cut up so that he can manage it.
It really is a question of QUANTITY. He'll eat really really tiny bits, and then get full and not want any more.

Yesterday I managed to get him eat half a small bowl full of spaghetti, tomatoes, bacon, and cheese. I was very impressed he ate as much as he did out of that to be honest. (But what's impressive for him, would just be a tiny amount for any other child!)
Plus later on he ate a petit filou yoghurt.

But that's all he ate. He wouldn't have anything else. He needs to eat more. I think it really is that he's not hungry because of feasting all night!

beanie - a nibble tray sounds good but he has no idea how to feed himself. If I give him any food infront of himself, or in his hand, he'll pick it up, look at it, and then either put it back down or chuck it on the floor. Aside from his dummy (and the occasional ball or my phone) he doesn't put things in his mouth. I have to put things in his mouth for him if I want him to eat them - he'll take them from my hand or from a spoon, but he prefers from my hand. He went through a slight aversion to spoons a little while ago, when he wouldn't take anything from them. He seems to be over that though.

monster munch - yeh I've tried expressing milk. I can get some out, not tons, but I can get out maybe 4oz after half an hour of squeezing or so.
Unfortunately he doesn't accept it as a boob substitute. He'll have it as a drink if he's wide awake and just feels like a drink, but again, if he's tired, he pushes it away and only wants boob.

 

[monster_munch]

right first a massive hug. We'll sort this together
Forget about it for now, relax, in enjoy your holiday and come back refreshed and ready to go.

I would maybe say once you're back from holiday you'll have to get tough. Bloody tough.
He goes in his cot at night and stays there. Have some expressed milk and once in the night he gets that but other than that he gets your presence and nothing else. I'd be tempted not to even pick him up. This is where Phil should get off his lazy arse and help as he won't smell of milk.
I did a similar thing with my DD although she wasn't as reluctant as Alex.
It will be so hard but you may have to be cruel to be kind. During the day, boob before nap but i personally wouldn't let him fall asleep on the boob, it's nourishment and no more.

Obviously feel free to ignore this LOL! just trying ideas out xx

 

[fothers]

Monstermunch- great advice

I hope you have a nice holiday Xena and maybe forget about it and the not eating much til after you come back and like MM said start then. I can imagine how awful it must be with the night weaning. Maisie started co-sleeping with us 2m ago after waking up to feed hourly through the night for 10 weeks and refusing to feed during the day at that point as she was so distractable. I am absolutely dreading needing to night wean her/ get her to sleep in her cot again- I just can't bring myself to find the strength yet

You are doing a fab job and are a great mum

 

[monster_munch]

hey hun. Hope you had a great holiday. How did Alex eat whilst away?

Have you decided how you're going to play it from here on in?

 

[Xena]

hiya, yeh I had a lovely holiday thanks hun. We got back last night.

hmmm - Alex - what to do, what to do? That is a very good question.

He has been eating SLIGHTLY better of late - on holiday he'd eat roughly half a sausage for breakfast, half a saucer of food for lunch, and half a saucer of food for dinner. So better than he did previously.
BUT he still seems really clingy to me at night and wanting breastmilk.

I'm not sure of the best way to tackle it to be honest.

 

[monster_munch]

Glad you had a good time

I bet Alex ate a little better because you were all chilled out and there was no pressure. Little monkey

TBH the clinginess at night is where Phil should help because he's Daddy and Alex will feel somewhat comforted by his presence but he doesn't have boobies

It's a bit of a catch 22 - I'm not sure whether it's best to try and find some way of getting him to eat more during the day which will in turn reduce his milk intake at night, or to reduce his milk intake at night which will encourage him to eat more during the day...

for you - as long as you're feeding him he's not going to be malnourished