purplepebbles
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Found out on Friday that I had suffered a missed miscarriage at 9+3. Baby hadn't developed past 5 weeks. We'd had a private scan last weekend that suggested I'd had a missed miscarriage but after brown spotting and bleeding on wiping all week, it was confirmed that the pregnancy wasn't progressing at another scan done by the NHS.
Within an hour of leaving the hospital and getting home, I started bleeding and passing clots and tissue. I must've sat on the toilet for nearly an hour and a half in total during the afternoon and evening letting it do its thing. Its probably the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced.
We were expecting bad news when we went into the scan on Friday, we knew that things weren't quite right at the scan, but had a tiny glimmer of hope that the baby had maybe grown. When we were told, I cried for a few minutes but picked myself up and carried on. It wasn't until yesterday evening that it hit me. I sobbed for about 20 minutes solid. What also hurts is that I feel totally alone. Only one person text to ask how I was yesterday. My best friend sent me a picture of her new car she'd just bought but didn't ask how I was. And that hurts. I don't expect people to be thinking of me all the time and life goes on but it just upsets me that she took the time to send me a picture of her car, forgetting what I'm going through. I know I'm probably totally overreacting and being irrational but my emotions are so up and down right now and I feel angry for feeling like I do. I feel like shutting myself away and ignoring everyone.
Perhaps its because people don't know what to say or just assume that I want to be left alone, but I feel a simple 'thinking of you' or 'hope you're okay' doesn't take long to send. I don't mind talking about what's happened, as it helps me get it out of my system but I cant talk to myself. Another friend of mine went through a mmc last year, but nothing from her either. In fact, when I told her I was pregnant but was probably going to miscarry, she said she felt hurt that I hadn't told her I was pregnant. We were closer when she was pregnant and miscarried but she chose to distance herself from me over the past 3-4 months so it was hard to tell her about my news because she would barely talk to me. Then she gets upset that I didn't tell her! Can't win.
I hate feeling like this, I don't want to feel alone but I do. OH can only hear me say the same things over and over again. He's quiet by nature and is more likely to give me a hug and listen than say anything. Its hard for me to get my feelings out, as my sisters, brother and I were brought up not to talk about things like that. If we cried, my Dad would tell us to stop being so silly. So crying in front of people or showing emotions is hard for us to do.
Please tell me that all these feelings are totally normal?? xxx
Within an hour of leaving the hospital and getting home, I started bleeding and passing clots and tissue. I must've sat on the toilet for nearly an hour and a half in total during the afternoon and evening letting it do its thing. Its probably the most disgusting thing I have ever experienced.
We were expecting bad news when we went into the scan on Friday, we knew that things weren't quite right at the scan, but had a tiny glimmer of hope that the baby had maybe grown. When we were told, I cried for a few minutes but picked myself up and carried on. It wasn't until yesterday evening that it hit me. I sobbed for about 20 minutes solid. What also hurts is that I feel totally alone. Only one person text to ask how I was yesterday. My best friend sent me a picture of her new car she'd just bought but didn't ask how I was. And that hurts. I don't expect people to be thinking of me all the time and life goes on but it just upsets me that she took the time to send me a picture of her car, forgetting what I'm going through. I know I'm probably totally overreacting and being irrational but my emotions are so up and down right now and I feel angry for feeling like I do. I feel like shutting myself away and ignoring everyone.
Perhaps its because people don't know what to say or just assume that I want to be left alone, but I feel a simple 'thinking of you' or 'hope you're okay' doesn't take long to send. I don't mind talking about what's happened, as it helps me get it out of my system but I cant talk to myself. Another friend of mine went through a mmc last year, but nothing from her either. In fact, when I told her I was pregnant but was probably going to miscarry, she said she felt hurt that I hadn't told her I was pregnant. We were closer when she was pregnant and miscarried but she chose to distance herself from me over the past 3-4 months so it was hard to tell her about my news because she would barely talk to me. Then she gets upset that I didn't tell her! Can't win.
I hate feeling like this, I don't want to feel alone but I do. OH can only hear me say the same things over and over again. He's quiet by nature and is more likely to give me a hug and listen than say anything. Its hard for me to get my feelings out, as my sisters, brother and I were brought up not to talk about things like that. If we cried, my Dad would tell us to stop being so silly. So crying in front of people or showing emotions is hard for us to do.
Please tell me that all these feelings are totally normal?? xxx
