Midwife has seriously put me off my homebirth!!!!!

[leibiloo87]

So had midwife this afternoon and it was one iv never seen before I was asking about what you need for a home birth and she was going through a few things n asked what I was doing with my 2 little girls so I said they would be i the house but my mum wil be on hand if they need anything and she said to me that she knows a young girl who had to go to councelling after seeing her mother give birth at home as she was traumatised for a long time!!!!!!! I feel awful now I thought they would be ok but this has really put me off! also she said where are you putting your birthing pool so I said in our bedroom as its huge and she informed me that you have to get a surveyer around to check the floor will hold that can cost £500 and most peoples floors wont hold the wieght! so it looks like im now going to hospital which I didnt really want but the thought of my kids been traumatised by a homebirth is just making me feel sick. Another think out of the 2 hospitals I can choose from the one I would prefere dont have birthing pools so I have to go to my 2nd choice hospital for it, my head is allover the place now I dont no what to think and do, there just isnt enough information for people at all or much help with descision making in my opinion!!!!! x

 

[bethx]

I know lots of people that have had their children around at the birth and have never heard of any being traumatised. I dont know much about the birthing pool but even full it cant weigh more than you bed wardrobe etc so dont see why it would be too heavy. Think maybe the midwife was one of those very unsupporting to do with homebirths... Maybe try talking to another midwife about it?

Hope you manage to sort something out x

 

[xx emma xx]

My aunt had her little girl in a birthing pool at home and her autistic son was there and he wasn't traumatised. Maybe you should ask another midwife about it to see what they think x

 

[Merfairy]

Hey, she doesn't sound overly supportive eh... mm is there another mw you can get advice from? I understand homebirthing is so much more pleasent...though not sure on laws around floor being able to carry a birthing pool?! My OH doesn't want me to have a homebirth and we plan for a water birth in hospital!! Though I hope I go in to labour at home and deliver before we get to hospital (safely of course)... hope you find someone more supportive chick x

 

[nadine]

In one way it's good she's giving u all the fact like it might not b possible to do in bed room, but u still could set it up down stairs, as for ur children that some thing only u can decided I can't see it being a problem if the older children have things explained to them properly n if they also have ur mum there, also dose ur mum live near coz if things got a little loud or tough n u didn't want kids there at last min ur mum could just zip them of, x x don't rule it out just coz of one mw x

 

[midnight]

i wouldnt worry about your daughters so long as they are prepared and you dont hide anything from them as for the pool upstairs its true most floors can cope with the weight bearing in mind water weighs an awful lot you would be best with the pool set up on the ground floor

how old are your girls?
maybe you could do some age appropiate preparation with them, the midwife didnt sound very helpful at all tbh and sounds anti homebirth and if it is true about the child needing help then she prob knew nothing about what was happening and the mother could of screamed the whole way through please dont let this put you off

 

[mumofmany]

I think she is fair enough to warn you but i think she should have askd are your children sensitive etc. I know i would hate my children to see me giving birth but that is just my personnaly opinion, my older children that are 14 and 12 have already told me they would hate to see me give birth so very scary to think that if i go into labour and have a fast birth again that they may witness it. My 7 year old wouldn't cope with it he is very sensitive, my 6 year old on the other hand would probably love every minute of it, and my 15 month old wouldn't care less. So i think its down to how your children are and how you feel. Its just my opinion that i would hate my children to see me in pain, but on the other hand its other peoples opinion that they are one of the first to see their siblings and its real life and we shouldnlt shelter our children from everything.

 

[Cantstop]

You hear negative things about any way you choose to give birth - if you are positive about it and you know your kids will cope with it definitely talk to another midwife about it and don't let her put you off.

 

[Miss]

Maybe the midwife was talking about women no coping with labour while having a home birth? I mean....if I started screaming I would completley freak my 11 year old out.....even when he was younger he could not stand it if I cried lol

Still....I would think, with this not being your first you have a good understanding of what labour is and if you were scared of the pain etc you would not have even contemplated the home birth in the first place!!! Sounds like you had a crabby Midwife hun....don't let her put you off. I do see where she is coming from tho with the weight of the pool full of water if it's going to be upstairs....they really do hold some weight!! Do you not have a dining room your could put the pool in? I know a woman who even had hers in the kitchen and another whole had hers in the living room!

Don't let her put a downer on it for you xx

 

[leibiloo87]

Yes she wasnt my regular midwife just a stand in my own midwife hasnt said anything about concerns of kids been there or a problem with the floor and she knows exactly what I wanted! im just not sure now I know my girs would be fine im not a screamer haha in fact you cant really tell im in labour until the very very end im very quiet and my kids arent the sensitive type they are 6 and 4 but are very mature for there ages and I dont keep anything from them if they have asked me questions iv told them the truth in a way they can understand. I dont want the pool downstairs if my mums going to be here I want it just me, hubby and kids if they choose to be there and feel more comfortable in my own badroom for some reason. Iv just never had another opinion before and it scared me a little im going to talk it all through with my husband write a list of pros and cons and see what we think after. Thanks girls for all your comments its really put my mind at ease again xxxx