Midwife concerns

[Cixes]

I have been for my 2nd appointment with my named midwife today and i have to say that i am a little apprehensive about her. She is very dizzy and doesn't seem to know what she is doing at times, she takes forever to fill forms in and when she went to take bloods she paused very nervously running her hands through her hair before getting her stuff together Then she said that she won't see me again until i am 28 weeks spent about 5 mins trying to sort out an appointment and working out how many weeks i would be. When i came out i worked it out and she has me down for a 28 weeks appointment when i will actually be 31 weeks!

I can honestly say that if she was delivering my baby i would be running away and doing it myself!

At 16 +3 did anyone get to listen to their baby's heart beat? I am sure i did in the past but she didn't do it. She didn't ask how i was and in the end i had to mention things like my SPD and water infection.

I just feel a bit let down by it all!

 

[kaybee]

Oh Cixes I know how you feel - you really want to have faith in your MW and it's not reassuring when they're like that.

I met my MW at booking appt and was a bit concerned as she seemed nice and friendly, but I had to ask her a lot of questions at the end as she just hadn't told me - about antenatal classes, the benefits of different hospitals, how my back problems might interfere with my pregnancy etc. She didn't even tell me what I could/couldn't eat - but thankfully I'd had an appt with my GP the day before and he'd run me through all that, but she didn't know that... To be fair her answers were fairly comprehensive, but I was a bit annoyed that I'd had to ask all this simple stuff; it's my first pregnancy and if I hadn't have done so much web-browsing beforehand I wouldn't have known to ask the questions in the first place.

Then when I went for next appt at 15wks my MW was on hols so I had a replacement who was all fingers and thumbs when taking my blood (she tried 3 times in one arm then went in the other - ow!) and didn't answer my questions directly at all - it was like she was answering a different question from what I'd asked!!! She made the other MW seem brilliant!

She wasn't going to listen for heartbeat - said it was too early - but the hospital had listened a few days before and found it (heck, i'd been finding it since 9 weeks myself!!!) so I asked if she could just try anyway. She did and she found it so I was glad I asked. Though instead of writing the BPM in my notes like they had at the hospital, she just wrote 'heartbeat present'.

I think all MW's differ - maybe she was having a stressy day? Did she seem OK last time? Is she from the place you are having the baby? I only ask cos I know my MW won't be delivering mine anyway (unless it pops out at home and she happens to be in the area) as I've opted for a hospital birth and she's from the midwife-led unit in a different town.

I'd def phone up about the next appt and rearrange though!

 

[*sara*]

I also had my 16 week appointment today, not like what i remembered from my son, and like yours they didnt listen to baby. Its not much to ask for a bit of reassurance and proper care is it.

 

[indie78]

I had my last appt at 14 weeks and she listened to my LOs heartbeat
I can understand why you felt let down. Hopefully she was just having a bad day.

 

[andreag]

I'm 30 weeks and havn't seen my named midwife yet! My only appointments were at booking in and 28 weeks. At booking in she was off and I went today and she was off again. I go and see the community midwife at the childrens centre intead - I know her and she see's me at convenient times. I think if its not your first they seem to think you know what you're doing. If you are not happy I would change.

 

[Anna23]

is this your first baby? if so:
i was given a leaflet with details of when to expect to see the midwife etc... according to the leaflet and i'm happy to scan it to here it says your next app other than 19-20 week scan should be at 25 weeks then at 26-28 weeks for bloods etc.. did she check your wee? aparently they are ment to do that at every app

if it's your 2nd or subsequen't baby then it's at 26-28 weeks for bloods etc......
hope this helps

 

[claire_louise]

At 16 +3 did anyone get to listen to their baby's heart beat? I am sure i did in the past but she didn't do it.

yeah mine listened to babys heartbeat, i think it standard procedure, but the she knew from my 1st appointment how scared i was.

sorry you've not had a good experience, im not sure if you can ask to change?

 

[maybebaby]

My midwife tried to find the heartbeat at 16 weeks and couldn't find it, which meant I spent the next week in a panic thinking something was wrong. I went back a week later and she found it straight away but it turned out I have an anterior placenta which is probably why she didn't hear it straight away. She did say they don't routinely check that early because it's too worrying if they can't find it.

If you're not happy with your midwife though you should ask to change, you need to feel confident that you're getting the care & support you need

 

[Mik]

Aw Cixes not having fun at the moment are you? I would have thought you would have an appt around 24 weeks myself If you are unhappy make an appt with your doc or ring the mw unit and ask to have another appt cos of your SPD and you need some reassurance

 

[sparky]

my sister is pg for her 4th and they dont give her many appointments think its 3 through the whole pregnancy as they go for a non-inteventionalist approach, so it could be just that. MW's probably just thinking you'll be relaxed as its not your first and probably wont bother too much unless you ask, mine never asked me she assumed i'd tell her if i was worried about anything.

but i found a lot of MW's to be a bit dizzy, but i sorta liked that, better than a stern medical approach!

 

[clucky77]

Is it bad to worry about your midwife becasue she is young?

I just want to be in the hands of an older expereinced person.

Is that a reason to change? Just need some reassurance....

 

[Cixes]

No Clucky i don't think its bad to feel that way at all. I can understand why you would prefer someone with more hands on knowledge to care for you and your baby.

Today midwives have to have a degree and are highly trained having to complete 40 births by themselves before qualifying.
But i think whilst those who have been in practice for many years are able to spot things happening the newer qualifieds are very thorough in their care.
I suppose that either had pros and cons!

If you just don't feel comfortable and can change i would.

I still have no confidence in mine but thankfully i don't see her much and if i have a problem i call the day unit at the hospital.

 

[clucky77]

Thanks for that Cixes... I have another appointment on Fri so will see if I get the same midwife... my friend has has different ones and found one she liked so offered her a private fee to be there for the delivery (which she accepted)..... so I might think about doing this.