me and my OH spoke last night about....

[natashateale]

How many kids we actually want. It was intresting, as at one point qe both said we wanted a big family. Now that we have concieved our second he said he wants to see what 2is like to have and then decide. Thats fine he has changed his mind and even then he may still want more but it makes u wonder how traumactic it must be for men. I had a fairly 'good' birth with my first. So the only thing I can think of is that after my 1st I got post natal depression and suffered in silence for about a year with it so u can imagenit was a tough time for us both. Do u think 'lets see what having 2 is like' really means 'lets see if you get post natal depression again'
just thought I would ask some of your opinions. I am not upset or anything by this infact he is prob just trying to save my feel

 

[wifeywifey]

I dont think thats what he is saying my oh wanted loads we had our second he isnt bothered about having more now. I think he is probably being open minded about the challenges two children bring.

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[Lolly85x]

I wouldn't necessarily say he's worried about you having post natal depression again, yes it may be a factor. But perhaps he is enjoying having the clossness with the child you have, maybe it's tougher than expected, emotionally and physically. Money situation aswell.
I originally thought I wanted a big family, I'm now expecting my 1st... And my boyfriend said 'we will see how we get on with this one, maybe 2max' I was a bit surprised at him saying this and asked why.
And he said that he wants to be able to have plenty of time for any Childeren he has, I'm not saying that people with more than 1 or 2 kids don't spend enough time with there children, but for him it's how he feels.
He also wants to be able to provide for us and live comfortably, and unfortunately unless he gets a massive payrise isn't going to happen. He wants to still have a nice car and nice family holidays. Where as a larger family would stretch our budget just too far... I can see his point. But me personally I think I'd like 3 children... Will just have to wait and see who wins xx

 

[Lou12]

I agree that it's not necessarily because of post natal depression - in fact it's probably more likely that he now knows what a having baby actually entails. My OH has absolutely no clue how difficult it's going to be to have a baby - so if your OH was the same perhaps he realises the big family will be a lot more work than initially thought, so wants to see how it goes.

 

[natashateale]

Thanks ladies jist wanted to hear opinions. I dont know if I still want a big family. But I personally think I would want one more but we are so thankful for our second at the moment. .

 

[PyscoFalcon]

He's probably thinking more on the lines of *wait to see how knackered we both are with 2 running amok* more than anything

My hubby has always said he wants at least 3 from me and I've always replied with *you'll be lucky if you get one* since I was told by 2 differant hospitals I could never have kids.

 

[babyem]

^ WSS.

I sounds like he has a good head on his shoulders and rather than just decide on how many children, he is actually thinking about what it would be to have more. I think this is something people lack nowadays, too many people have lots of children and don't think of how hard it will be and how you will manage in all aspects of life. He sounds very sensible to me!! x

 

[natashateale]

He sounds sensible but hes not really lol. Well not when it comes to most things hehe. Blwss him I think he thinks more about this than he lets on he said last night he cant wait to be sat on the sofa giving a baby a bottle he said he kinda misses it then snapped back to his self and said lets just wait and see how a scan goes. Hes had a ' bad feeling ' since we got our bfp. I think the only thing thats kept his hopes up is I have my head down the toilet everyother day lol.

 

[Froslass]

Everyone who I know that has kids has told me that the jump between 1 and 2 kids is the hardest. After that 3,4,5 is easier.

Maybe he's heard this and just wants to see how it'll go? X x

 

[natashateale]

Ooooo I dont know. See I grew up looking after my 3 brothers ' I am the oldest by 11years so I know how hard it can be as I looked after them every day once I came back from school and even know I still have them in the school holidays. So I thinks he could be comparing having that many children in the house lol. But I am sure those ladies that have been in the same boat as me that your own child/ren seem easier.Y OH is the second youngest out of 4 and got a massive shock when we moved out to how much he haf to do to jelp as his mum did evetuthing for him. I think ur all right, I think he knows it will b tougher and just wants to see

 

[babyem]

He sounds sensible but hes not really lol. Well not when it comes to most things hehe. Blwss him I think he thinks more about this than he lets on he said last night he cant wait to be sat on the sofa giving a baby a bottle he said he kinda misses it then snapped back to his self and said lets just wait and see how a scan goes. Hes had a ' bad feeling ' since we got our bfp. I think the only thing thats kept his hopes up is I have my head down the toilet everyother day lol.

They have their sensible moments! I think most men just put on a front and act like their not phased by things or that they don't really spend time thinking about it but really they do. Awww, how sweet! I bet he's a great Dad! x