Maternity leave

[Susanne]

I am going to write something that will sound really selfish and ungrateful now, and some of you will probably think I am a really selfish cow. But I do feel quite down about this, and hope that getting it off my chest might help.

My husband and I have been planning this pregnancy for ages, and I sort of assumed that the arrangements would be the same as with our other two, i.e. me going off on maternity leave for a year and then working part time. I was really looking forward to that year off with the new baby.

And yesterday my husband tells me that he thinks I should go on maternity leave for the first 6 months, and the he will go for the second six months, because financially this makes more sense. And he is right, it does. But I feel like he has just hit me over the head with a big fat hammer, I love that first year with a new baby so much. Feeling kind of cheated now.

Sorry, I realise that I really am being selfish. Only, knowing this doesn't stop me from feeling this way...

 

[NinjaKitty]

I totally understand. I really want the first year with the baby but I don't know if our finances can take it. May have to go back after 6 months. This is still up for discussion however. I think maybe letting your husband know how you feel and having a heart to heart better not to let it fester.

 

[missb]

I would just talk to him about it I dont think it selfish its just how u feel. the paternity has gone up to 6 weeks now I would add when talking too him. Hope it all works out for you. xx

 

[Susanne]

Thanks for your replies! I'm sure if I explain to him how I feel he will back down and I will get my way (he is a nice one ). But then he will work extra hard to bring in more money while I'm at home, and I will feel guilty all the time. Aaaaargh!

 

[jomc]

Ur not being selfish hun, have a chat with him xxx

 

[lucyjoan1]

Not being selfish!! No such thing when your carrying his baby lol! Def agree with everyone, talk to him & never feel guilty about wanting to spend time with your new baby x

 

[star fish]

Oh dear, I would say the opposite, that it would be really nice for him to have the time bonding with the baby as well, he is just as much the parent as you are, why should women get all the time off?

Sorry, thats probably not going to be popular on here as its all women, and I dont want to go to work whilst my husband has the pleasure of being at home, but we might have to do that and i think the fact that you get the first 6 months is great. Just think about it a bit before getting stroppy with him xx