hi i need a bit of advice please. i was with my dd's father for a year when i fell pg with her when i told him his reply was 'well its not mine ive had the snip were over' (i was faithfull to him) it has now been proved by DNA testing that he is her father, he has still never seen her and doesnt want to which is fine by me as i got together with my df whilst i was pg with dd and he has took her on as his own he was there at her birth df loves her to pieces and would do anything for her and she is the same with him she is such a daddys girl problem is my exs family have now decided since getting the dna results that they want to see her df is backing any decision i make as we knew it was a possibility it could happen only problem is i dont want them too see her i feel it will only confuse her when she gets older she has a great family network with mine and my df family but if i dont let them see her im denying exes mum and dad of theis grand daughter which i dont want to do they keep asking for her to take her on days out etc but im just not comfartable with that idea and they wont see her whilst im there with her they want her on her own and i just cant do that she doesnt even know them any suggestions on what to do would be greatly appreciated thanks. xx
MASSIVE DILEMMA:bit long
- Thread starter nixylei
- Start date
hun i think any court would only grant supervised access at this stage esp with grandparents so tell them that to start with it must be with you and you'll see how things go.
any mother would feel the same as you do, and what you want is perfectly reasonable. if they wont see her with you there then they cant really care that much about her as i know alex's grandparents would do anything to see him.
stick to your guns babe, supervised access until you feel comfortable to build up their visits - a day out is a long way of for now, maybe after a while they can take her for a walk, then out the park for a couple of hours, gradually build it up. thats more than fair.
i would suggest making these suggestions in writing as then you have evidence of your willingness to accomdate them if they try to takew it further.
good luck hun!
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any mother would feel the same as you do, and what you want is perfectly reasonable. if they wont see her with you there then they cant really care that much about her as i know alex's grandparents would do anything to see him.
stick to your guns babe, supervised access until you feel comfortable to build up their visits - a day out is a long way of for now, maybe after a while they can take her for a walk, then out the park for a couple of hours, gradually build it up. thats more than fair.
i would suggest making these suggestions in writing as then you have evidence of your willingness to accomdate them if they try to takew it further.
good luck hun!
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they wont seeher with me because there angry at me for getting with my df and making there son take a dna test if he never lied i wouldnt have had to do it we consulted a solicitor who advised supervised access but they wont budge they want her fo a day alone without anyone else i have a suspicios (can t spell that) mind and think that they wont bring her back to me
hello
if i was in your shoes personally i would say- That they could see her only with you around as she does not know them from adam but once she does and is comfortable with them maybe its an idea to allow them to take her out on there own but as long as they bring her back on time and if not they dont get another chance, But its your decision good luck wish you all the best
if i was in your shoes personally i would say- That they could see her only with you around as she does not know them from adam but once she does and is comfortable with them maybe its an idea to allow them to take her out on there own but as long as they bring her back on time and if not they dont get another chance, But its your decision good luck wish you all the best
put it in wirting hun as they are clearly being unreasonable and any court should back that up - you have made an offer - they are unwilling to compromise and are clearly not thinking about their grandaughters best interests. let them know the offer as it stands is always there - but by your terms as you have set out in your letter.
if its all officials they may realise you are not going to be bullied and will be prepared to fight if they threaten you with legal battles.
some people really wind me up - what kind of grandparent would take the child off when they dont know them and put them through that stress, poor little love wouldnt know what to do with herself
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if its all officials they may realise you are not going to be bullied and will be prepared to fight if they threaten you with legal battles.
some people really wind me up - what kind of grandparent would take the child off when they dont know them and put them through that stress, poor little love wouldnt know what to do with herself
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ive put it in writing for them but they still insist on seeing her alone and are threatening me with court which im not worried about as my solicitor says they have no chance of getting any judge to agree to what they want and they will only grant supervised visits due to the situation and her age so im not too worried about court ive decided to stick to my guns she is my lo and my responsibility im not going to put her into a situation she wont be comfartable in ive been fair with them so if they wont agree to my terms looks like its court for us thanks for the advice though xx
well imho they cant want to see her that much if they cant even accept what you have offered..tell them fine take me to court waste you're money, how the hell can they expect you to let you're DD spend the day alone with complete strangers!!!!
some people are seriously stupid...!!
dont worry hun, your soliciter is right, they have no chance.
take care and she is beautiful btw
cassi x
some people are seriously stupid...!!
dont worry hun, your soliciter is right, they have no chance.
take care and she is beautiful btw
cassi x
I agree with Cassie, if they wanted to see her so badly they would do so with you there.
They have no right to be p***** at you for getting a DNA tesy and getting a new feller! What right do they have, there son lied and left you, did they want you to stay single forever and never prove who the father was - blo*dy nutters some people I tell ya!!
Personally, if I offered them x terms and they said no I want XX I would tell them to go and screw themselves. Let them take you to court, like your sols said they will get nothing but supervised visits at most. Grandparents have no legal rights like fathers/mothers as far as Im aware.
I would be suspect to, maybe they want to take her to your Ex or something? who knows, but why so adamant to be on their own with her?
Good luck hun - stick to your guns
They have no right to be p***** at you for getting a DNA tesy and getting a new feller! What right do they have, there son lied and left you, did they want you to stay single forever and never prove who the father was - blo*dy nutters some people I tell ya!!
Personally, if I offered them x terms and they said no I want XX I would tell them to go and screw themselves. Let them take you to court, like your sols said they will get nothing but supervised visits at most. Grandparents have no legal rights like fathers/mothers as far as Im aware.
I would be suspect to, maybe they want to take her to your Ex or something? who knows, but why so adamant to be on their own with her?
Good luck hun - stick to your guns
And im placing my bets that they wont take you to court...as i said in reply to dans thread them cases cost £3-4000 they probably think they can scare you enough by saying it....and im sure they know its a lost cause too..they wont bother... 
Tara & Liam
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does your DD's sperm donor want to see her as well. i mean are the grand parents entitled to see the baby if the father wants nothing to do with her.
stick to your guns, dont let them have unsupervised access. make sure that you keep copies of any correspondence sent to and received from them. if it goes to court then you have evidence of the letters that you sent to them offering reasonable access.
at the end of the day, they are only grandparents not the father.
stick to your guns, dont let them have unsupervised access. make sure that you keep copies of any correspondence sent to and received from them. if it goes to court then you have evidence of the letters that you sent to them offering reasonable access.
at the end of the day, they are only grandparents not the father.
