Irishemma
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I'm hoping that this will be slightly cathartic to write this out, as at the moment I still get upset when I think about how things turned out. It was certainly very different than the joyous water birth that I had hoped for. However, ultimately I am now On my way! with my beautiful baby girl and that is what I am focusing on most of the time.
My friends had organised a baby shower for me on the 12th April which was great fun. We played lots of games and ate lots of cake and things. I had a headache most of the day but I put it down to being over excited with the shower, and a bit stressed as I had a bit to do before starting maternity leave on the 20th April. The girls had opened some wine once the family guests etc had left and I went home. I was feeling a bit more tired than normal but put it down to the stress and excitement.
I woke up on Sunday and I was feeling a bit off all day. I was sick during the day but that wasn't that out of the ordinary as I had been sick on and off throughout my pregnancy. Again, I put it down to too much cake and sweeties at the baby shower. Later on, on Sunday evening I became aware that baby was moving less, but was still moving. I had read somewhere that the movements slow down that further along you are so didn't think too much of it. I went to bed early on the Sunday night.
I woke up at about 5am on Monday morning and I had a horrible feeling that something was wrong. I couldn't feel any movements from the baby so I drank a cold drink and laid on my left side and there was still nothing. I woke my husband up and we agreed that I should phone maternity triage which I did. They said to come in and they would put me on the monitor, just to reassure me. We arrived at triage at about 7.15am.
They hooked me up to the monitors and gave me a button to press if I felt a movement. We saw a heartbeat straight away so I thought everything was OK. They said there should be at least four movements in a certain amount of minutes, I can't remember exactly how many. After about 20 minutes there had been no movements and the midwife was looking at the output quite closely. She said they would continue monitoring for a bit longer and went away again. She came back and looked at the output again, and noted that I had still not felt any movements and said she would call a doctor to have a look.
The doctor came pretty quickly, and at this point I was starting to panic. The doctor examined me and looked at the output. She said that she wasn't happy and that she felt the baby was distressed as the heart rate kept dropping. She asked if she could give me an injection of steroids in case they needed to deliver the baby early. They then started to put cannulas in my hands. Thing seemed to go very fast at this point. I was taken to the labour ward, and the doctor asked me if I would consent to an emergency c-section as they felt it was necessary. There was already lots of people coming into my room at this point. I said that I would do anything to keep the baby safe. I was wheeled straight to theatre - I signed the consent form on the way to theatre and the risks etc were explained on the way to theatre. My husband was bundled off to a room just along the corridor from the theatre. I was given a general anaesthetic and the last thing I remember was saying ...but I had tea and toast!
I woke up in the recovery room where I was told that I'd had a baby girl at 9.17am. They said that she was fine and that she was lovely and pink but she had to go to the neonatal ward to be checked over. My husband had seen her being wheeled along the corridor and said that she had looked fine to him. I was so excited and couldn't wait to meet my baby girl. We agreed to call her Maia. I still hadn't seen her by lunchtime and was starting to gets bit anxious. At this point, my husband went home to pack me a hospital bag as I hadn't even done that yet! At about 2pm the paediatrician from the neonatal ward came to see me. She told me that Maia had some difficulties breathing at birth and they had to resuscitate her. However, they thought she was doing fine now and I could come and see her.
I had to wait until someone could bring me to the ward as I was immobile after the c section. I was brought down and I got to see my baby very briefly. Unfortunately, while I was there she started to have seizures and I was put out of the room with someone sitting with me. My husband was still away at this point and I couldn't remember his phone number for them to phone him. I was in a very bad way at this point and was crying a lot. After what seemed like forever, he arrived back with my hospital bag etc. He must have got a fright to see me in such a state.
The doctors then said that they wanted to transfer Maia to an intensive care unit in Glasgow and it would either be yorkhill or the southern general. They said she needed cooling treatment to minimise brain damage from the seizures. We agreed to whatever would be the best treatment for her. They told me that if she went to the southern general they would try and transfer me there too so I could be with her but they would be unable to do this if she went to yorkhill as it was a children's hospital. They managed to get us both into the southern general - Maia was transferred by neonatal ambulance at about 8pm and I was transferred at about 2am by normal ambulance. After I was checked into the ward I went straight over to see her. She was all hooked up to wires and monitors and was on the cooling mat. She looked so tiny and fragile (and so like her dad!).
She was kept at 4 degrees below her body temperature for 72 hours and then warmed up slowly. During that time I spent as much time as I could with her, she was on morphine to keep her comfortable. I learned to express milk and expressed 10 times a day even though she couldn't eat until after she was warmed up. She didn't have any more seizures while they were warming her up and she looked much better once warmed up. She was fed my expressed milk through a nasal tube for the first few days but she soon started taking it from a bottle. She had less tubes and wires everyday and we were allowed to start doing all her care, feeding her, changing her nappy and bathing her.
At this point she was transferred back to Forth Valley Royal Hospital. Due to rules about infection control she was put back into an incubator (she had been in a cot latterly in the southern general). I felt like it was a step backwards as I was no longer allowed to do her care but it was only 48 hours until she was back in a cot. I roomed in with her for a few nights and we got her breast feeding on demand which was fantastic. The staff were a great support with this as it wasn't easy. We were told that she would be discharged on the Saturday 26th April after she had an MRI in yorkhill in Glasgow. She was taken to Glasgow in the ambulance again. The nurse who came with us thought she had a seizure in the ambulance, although the ambulance staff did not agree Ashe was on several monitors and none of them indicated that she had a seizure. However, they didn't discharge her that day after all as they wanted to monitor her for a extra few days.
She finally came home on Monday 28th April. Since then we have just been getting used to being a family. She has been fantastic. She is a very good baby - she cries when she is hungry and when she needs changed, and occasionally for a cuddle. She likes baths and being sung too. The neonatal nurse specialist did a top to toe examination before she let and said that just now she is behaving as any newborn should. All her reflexes etc are normal. However, she has been given a diagnosis of hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy (HIE) grade 2. The outcomes are uncertain at the moment for her future. She may have cerebral palsy and/or a learning disability. The doctors have said we won't really know until she starts reaching (or not reaching) her milestones, although the results of the MRI might give us some indication. We haven't had these results yet but we have an appointment at the paediatrician in June so I am guessing that might be when they go through things like that with us. She also failed her hearing screening twice and has been referred to audiology.
It's really been the toughest time, I don't think I can explain the emotions I have been through. But, I have a beautiful daughter, and she will be the most loved little girl. I hope we can give her a good life. If there is one thing I want people to take from this it is, if you are at all worried about things during your pregnancy, go and get checked. At least 3 doctors have told me that if I hadn't went to triage when I did she probably wouldn't have made it.
I hadn't really meant to write such an essay but there we go ...there is Maia's birth story and a quick run down of her first few weeks.
My friends had organised a baby shower for me on the 12th April which was great fun. We played lots of games and ate lots of cake and things. I had a headache most of the day but I put it down to being over excited with the shower, and a bit stressed as I had a bit to do before starting maternity leave on the 20th April. The girls had opened some wine once the family guests etc had left and I went home. I was feeling a bit more tired than normal but put it down to the stress and excitement.
I woke up on Sunday and I was feeling a bit off all day. I was sick during the day but that wasn't that out of the ordinary as I had been sick on and off throughout my pregnancy. Again, I put it down to too much cake and sweeties at the baby shower. Later on, on Sunday evening I became aware that baby was moving less, but was still moving. I had read somewhere that the movements slow down that further along you are so didn't think too much of it. I went to bed early on the Sunday night.
I woke up at about 5am on Monday morning and I had a horrible feeling that something was wrong. I couldn't feel any movements from the baby so I drank a cold drink and laid on my left side and there was still nothing. I woke my husband up and we agreed that I should phone maternity triage which I did. They said to come in and they would put me on the monitor, just to reassure me. We arrived at triage at about 7.15am.
They hooked me up to the monitors and gave me a button to press if I felt a movement. We saw a heartbeat straight away so I thought everything was OK. They said there should be at least four movements in a certain amount of minutes, I can't remember exactly how many. After about 20 minutes there had been no movements and the midwife was looking at the output quite closely. She said they would continue monitoring for a bit longer and went away again. She came back and looked at the output again, and noted that I had still not felt any movements and said she would call a doctor to have a look.
The doctor came pretty quickly, and at this point I was starting to panic. The doctor examined me and looked at the output. She said that she wasn't happy and that she felt the baby was distressed as the heart rate kept dropping. She asked if she could give me an injection of steroids in case they needed to deliver the baby early. They then started to put cannulas in my hands. Thing seemed to go very fast at this point. I was taken to the labour ward, and the doctor asked me if I would consent to an emergency c-section as they felt it was necessary. There was already lots of people coming into my room at this point. I said that I would do anything to keep the baby safe. I was wheeled straight to theatre - I signed the consent form on the way to theatre and the risks etc were explained on the way to theatre. My husband was bundled off to a room just along the corridor from the theatre. I was given a general anaesthetic and the last thing I remember was saying ...but I had tea and toast!
I woke up in the recovery room where I was told that I'd had a baby girl at 9.17am. They said that she was fine and that she was lovely and pink but she had to go to the neonatal ward to be checked over. My husband had seen her being wheeled along the corridor and said that she had looked fine to him. I was so excited and couldn't wait to meet my baby girl. We agreed to call her Maia. I still hadn't seen her by lunchtime and was starting to gets bit anxious. At this point, my husband went home to pack me a hospital bag as I hadn't even done that yet! At about 2pm the paediatrician from the neonatal ward came to see me. She told me that Maia had some difficulties breathing at birth and they had to resuscitate her. However, they thought she was doing fine now and I could come and see her.
I had to wait until someone could bring me to the ward as I was immobile after the c section. I was brought down and I got to see my baby very briefly. Unfortunately, while I was there she started to have seizures and I was put out of the room with someone sitting with me. My husband was still away at this point and I couldn't remember his phone number for them to phone him. I was in a very bad way at this point and was crying a lot. After what seemed like forever, he arrived back with my hospital bag etc. He must have got a fright to see me in such a state.
The doctors then said that they wanted to transfer Maia to an intensive care unit in Glasgow and it would either be yorkhill or the southern general. They said she needed cooling treatment to minimise brain damage from the seizures. We agreed to whatever would be the best treatment for her. They told me that if she went to the southern general they would try and transfer me there too so I could be with her but they would be unable to do this if she went to yorkhill as it was a children's hospital. They managed to get us both into the southern general - Maia was transferred by neonatal ambulance at about 8pm and I was transferred at about 2am by normal ambulance. After I was checked into the ward I went straight over to see her. She was all hooked up to wires and monitors and was on the cooling mat. She looked so tiny and fragile (and so like her dad!).
She was kept at 4 degrees below her body temperature for 72 hours and then warmed up slowly. During that time I spent as much time as I could with her, she was on morphine to keep her comfortable. I learned to express milk and expressed 10 times a day even though she couldn't eat until after she was warmed up. She didn't have any more seizures while they were warming her up and she looked much better once warmed up. She was fed my expressed milk through a nasal tube for the first few days but she soon started taking it from a bottle. She had less tubes and wires everyday and we were allowed to start doing all her care, feeding her, changing her nappy and bathing her.
At this point she was transferred back to Forth Valley Royal Hospital. Due to rules about infection control she was put back into an incubator (she had been in a cot latterly in the southern general). I felt like it was a step backwards as I was no longer allowed to do her care but it was only 48 hours until she was back in a cot. I roomed in with her for a few nights and we got her breast feeding on demand which was fantastic. The staff were a great support with this as it wasn't easy. We were told that she would be discharged on the Saturday 26th April after she had an MRI in yorkhill in Glasgow. She was taken to Glasgow in the ambulance again. The nurse who came with us thought she had a seizure in the ambulance, although the ambulance staff did not agree Ashe was on several monitors and none of them indicated that she had a seizure. However, they didn't discharge her that day after all as they wanted to monitor her for a extra few days.
She finally came home on Monday 28th April. Since then we have just been getting used to being a family. She has been fantastic. She is a very good baby - she cries when she is hungry and when she needs changed, and occasionally for a cuddle. She likes baths and being sung too. The neonatal nurse specialist did a top to toe examination before she let and said that just now she is behaving as any newborn should. All her reflexes etc are normal. However, she has been given a diagnosis of hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy (HIE) grade 2. The outcomes are uncertain at the moment for her future. She may have cerebral palsy and/or a learning disability. The doctors have said we won't really know until she starts reaching (or not reaching) her milestones, although the results of the MRI might give us some indication. We haven't had these results yet but we have an appointment at the paediatrician in June so I am guessing that might be when they go through things like that with us. She also failed her hearing screening twice and has been referred to audiology.
It's really been the toughest time, I don't think I can explain the emotions I have been through. But, I have a beautiful daughter, and she will be the most loved little girl. I hope we can give her a good life. If there is one thing I want people to take from this it is, if you are at all worried about things during your pregnancy, go and get checked. At least 3 doctors have told me that if I hadn't went to triage when I did she probably wouldn't have made it.
I hadn't really meant to write such an essay but there we go ...there is Maia's birth story and a quick run down of her first few weeks.
xxx
