lost my confidence....

[Manda&Thomas]

not sure if this so go here but oh well lol its here now!!!
well as you all no as i keep saying my bloke is amasing i couldnt ask for anyone nicer but there is one thing about me that he doesnt like and its the fact i dont well take control in bed lol (sorry couldnt think of a better way to say it) i used to be able to do it till my heart was content untill my bloke before this one told me i was ugly and fat (i wear 8 stone 11) and it really knocked my confidence so much that i cant do sertain things with my current bloke and it bugs me so much
just wondered if anyone has got any ideas on how i can get over this?
thanks again sorry if its way to much info!!!
manda x

 

[jocymum]

 

[sparky]

My ex did that to me, its all about regaining your sexuality and confidence.
I did it by taking lapdancing lessons which had the added benefit of keeping me fit too!

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

I know how you feel, my ex used to say some awful things about my body and it does knowck your confidence, once its knocked like that it can take a long time to get it back!

I cant take control in bed either, not because I dont want to, but because im afraid of looking stupid and im not that free with my body - because of the confidence thing.

My OH is amazing and is always telling me he fonds me sexy and beautiful and he thinks ive got an amazing body (love is blind lol) and it does help, my confidence is gradually being restored and im finding I can be more assertive in the bedroom.

Have you told your current partner why you feel like this?

Im betting if you did he would make sure you know how wrong your ex was and help you build your confidence back up, but you also need to start working on this yourself.

Your obviously NOT fat, or ugly, and im so sorry your barsteward of an ex made you feel that you are, he was probably a control freak - just like my ex - who wanted to stamp on your confidence so that you would feel "lucky" to have him - a typical text book control freak, its HIM that has the problem babe, not you

 

[Manda&Thomas]

awww thanks girlies just happy not to be the only one
he does no wot my ex said to me but doesnt no how much it hurt me i will have a word with him tomoorro when hes round
thanks
manda x

 

[cassi]

aww hun thats horrible talk to your OH and im sure it will help.

My ex was the same i used to be size 8-10 and he told me i was fat all the time and if i put butter on my bread he would throw it away...

xx

 

[Manda&Thomas]

woop confidence is back well sort of lol
i made my bloke very very happy lastnight i wont share all the details but it included handcuffs and blindfolds lol it did the trick as i new he couldnt see me it gave me the confidence to do everything i wanted to do and hes happy now and so am i
thanks everyone
manda x

 

[whyslifesobig]

now thats what I call lateral thinking

 

[glitzyglamgirl]

Thats genius!!!!!

I might have to try that one!