I totally understand about keeping your feelings to yourself i do it all the time, I tend to cry in the bath when i am alone or in bed when i think hubby is asleep.I I ended up falling apart after my last miscarraige because i hadn't dealt with the others me and hubby nearly split up over it.
I know what you mean about twins though people are very lucky to have them, twice my body has tried to have twins and both times failed, I'm even convinced my last child was a twin but no proof, i had positive test then came on bled really heavy for me next day for about 6 days and i only ever am on for about 2 days, next month got positive test a week before due on then had scan and i was 2 weeks further ahead than i thought i was and i still had him another week early.
I know your probably not thinking about next time but when you are ready keep in mind it is possible for everything to go fine i had 2 children then 2 miscarraiges then another 2 children then 4 miscarraiges then my last baby then this one which was a twin, so history doesn't always repeat itself.
I am so sorry about your loses too its such a sad thing I wish no one had to go through it.