Let's Talk About Sex!

[MHemmelrick]

First off, please let me know if this isn't the right forum to post this. I'm new and still getting used to the different categories, but since this is about TTC, I figured this would be a good place?

My fiance and I recently decided to take the plunge and try for a baby (YAY!). While I'm all revved up to start, my fiance is still getting used to the whole process. You see, he's always been able to kinda do whatever he wants and besides work, he's never had to really be on a schedule. He's also a type 1 diabetic which severely affects his libido, so he doesn't always have the energy but is certainly willing to do as much as he can. Unfortunately, there are some concerns surrounding my fertility and TTC, so tracking and scheduling sex are a little more important in our case. We decided to start now because the longer we wait the more the process will become to feel...unnatural. I found this forum and the women here were super helpful, so I'm asking for some input again. I'm looking for ideas or personal experiences on how to make sex feel less scheduled and more natural. As I said, he's still warming up to the idea (but is on board) but has stated some concerns about how rigid it all feels. Before this, we would have sex maybe 3 or 4 times a year. We were never the couple that needed to have sex regularly and genuinely just enjoy each other's company. So going from that to trying to have a baby with fertility concerns can seem quite daunting and I want to find a way to make the sex feel more natural than scheduled and to avoid him feeling "used up" I suppose. Right now, I find that keeping the option of using a condom on the table to help relieve some of those pressures, but there has to be a better way.

 

[Kitana]

Hi hun, the best way to approach it, is to be relaxed about it. It's so easy for me to say but not so easy to do, but it's true!
If you do want to have some control, buy some cheap ovulation sticks, download an ovulation app and track your LH surge.

If you have a regular cycle, you can count about 14 days before the start of your AF to be ovulation day. For example, if you have a 30 day cycle, you ovulate on CD16, if you have a 26 day cycle, you ovulate on CD12. This is not for every woman, but most get their AF, 14 days after ovulation. If you track your cycle and the stick starts to darken, I would dtd, ideally the day before O and the day on. After ovulation you don't have to pressure your oh into dtd.

Try to make it a pleasant experience, you can surprise him in the shower, get naked in the kitchen or watch a movie with some sexy scenes can help! Men are very visual, so maybe buying some sexy lingerie can help?

Hope you get your bfp soon!x