Knowing what you know now, would you still have children?

[badhairday]

I am in a happy marriage. In fact, I dont think its possible to be happier than I am now. DH and I agreed before marriage that we did not want children. Now 4 years into our marriage DH has made it known that he would not mind having children but the ball is in my court. I am 33 and I think I should make the decision once and for all.

I am lukewarm about the idea. I am basically nervous about the fact that we are living in Belgium where we dont know anyone at all. We will be here for the forseeable future and can never expect support from our families who have relocated far away. Can I do it on my own? Will it be such hard work that it can cause tension in my marriage? Is it worth conceiving if you are not 100% sure that its what you want to do? I just cant imagine what to expect.

I would like to hear other people's experiences, particularly people with older children. People with happy marriages, how did children impact your relationship? How can you cope with little external support? Thanks for taking the time to read this post.

 

[kellie80]

I love having kids and knowing what I know now I wouldn't have it any other way. I have one whos almost 7, one is 18 months and one whos is 4 months. My life is very hard at the minute with having 2 so close together but it very rewarding and worth all the hard times. We have been happily married for over 7 years and its only now having the 2 babies when we have our bad times. Its nothing serious though, mainly arguing over whos going to get a lie in in the morning (till 7.30am) and whos gonna make the bottles. When you do have young kids you can find yourself getting worked up over silly things but as long as you have a strong relationship things should be fine. We don't have any help outside at all and we get on fine, so yes I would do it all again knowing what I know now (maybe not having 2 so close together though).

 

[Urchin]

Before you have kids no one actually tells you what a joyful and amazing thing becoming a parent is.
I didn't feel ready to have kids AT ALL, I got pregnant while travelling the world

If you wait till you feel ready you will never get round to it.
I love being a mom, go for it and you'll see how rewarding it is!

 

[Babylicious]

I got pregnant at 17 and ended up marrying Paris's Dad, which was a huge mistake as he was 20 year my snr and it just didn't work. However I am thank ful for Paris - she a lovely, giving gorgeous little princess and I love her to bits. Once you hold you baby in your arms you can't imagine the love that you feel.

Don't be pushed into anything, having a child isn't easy, theres no going out etc!

 

[Ruthy]

Just like to say what a wonderful husband you have!
My previous husband just decided we were having children and that was that.

Anyhoo,just see how it goes.If you get pregnant,just go with it.if not,don't worry.the time will come.