Just don’t know what to do

[Alexandra123]

I have just found out that I’m pregnant - it’s unexpected. I believe I’m around 5 weeks.
I told my partner straight away and so far he has not brought up the situation until I have and has repeatedly said that he can’t do it and that he’s not ready. He is pro-abortion at this point. He’s stating that he’s concerned about money and not being ready.
It’s been four days since I told him, is this reaction normal?
He said he will support me in what I choose to do. We both have good jobs, he has just started a new one in the same government department as me. I believe the money thing can work itself out.
He said he would be be ready in around a year or so, as my friend said the baby won’t be here for another 8 months (not really something I can say as a counter point).

Any advice or have any of you experienced this?

I’m not feeling ready to accept the situation at the moment until he is on board, so congratulations are not in order I’m afraid 🤷*♀️ I’m feeling no joy at all at the moment, instead I feel completely isolated and lost.

 

[WinterWolf]

My hubby was pretty scared/worried at first but he came around and is excited about baby now. He was pretty disconnected from it all until he saw baby moving on the 12 week scan. Then he started talking about baby on his own and starting to suggest names etc. I'd say don't let your partner force you into anything and don't make any decisions based on how he feels now, because he's shocked at the moment and his feelings will probably change. It is a big shock to the system, especially if baby is unplanned.

 

[MissKW]

If you want this baby, your OH wants one eventually, you both have jobs and your together then why not? I think with men fear just sets in and they think life is over. In reality life hardly changes for them, it's us women who make the biggest sacrifices.
A lot of people can never have babies and it's a huge privilege, plus there is never a right time, you have to just go along with it and adjust accordingly.
I just had my son (he's 4 months) and I can honestly say it's far easier than I ever expected it to be! It's such an amazing experience and I wish I had him in my life a long time ago. It's true that life doesn't even start until you have children, I have never felt such love, joy and pride every single day! It's sooo sooo worth it!
I dont get maternity pay so my hubby is responsible for finances at the moment and even so we manage perfectly fine. Apart from the initial set up (cot, cloths, pram, car seat etc) it hasn't cost much extra at all. All we buy is a big pack of nappies once a fortnight for around £5. That's £2.50 added to our weekly shop! I do exclusively breastfeed so I don't need to pay for formula etc. Even when he starts eating I will be making his food from what we already buy with our weekly shop so that won't cost anything extra either. If you want to buy baby food you can get organic really cheap these days and even the main set up you can get cheap if you don't want to spend a fortune on things that won't be used for very long.
Just do what you feel is best, and as above please don't let him talk you into anything you might regret later on. Babies are amazing and yes they change your life, but they change it in a very positive way
I heard nothing but horror stories whilst I was pregnant so I was really worried about how I would cope and if I would enjoy it but I quickly found that everything everybody said was total nonsense. There's nothing more natural and wonderful than becoming a parent.

 

[Laura butchers]

My husband was exactly the same. When i first told him i was pregnant he didnt speak to me for nearly an hour. Sounds silly but it broke my heart that he wasnt excited or even the slightest bit happy.
He also said we werent in the right position to have a baby even though we lived together and both had jobs.
At 6 weeks i had a massive scare and thought we had lost our baby. It wasnt until that moment that we realised just how much we both wanted it.
There wil never be a right time to have a baby, in my eyes you can never plan what you want when you want as it just doesnt work like that. There are people out there dying to have a baby and we were lucky enough to have one and the thought of my son not being here because of financial reasons breaks my heart to even think we considered not having him.
Everyones situation is different, but you go without so that your children can have. Its not easy physically or mentally but its worth it. X

 

[Summergurl]

I believe you will never be rich enough to have a baby. Even the richest people in the world probably wonder how they're going to afford things as they're spending is equal to their wealth. If that makes sense.

You will get by. Your baby will always come first. You will buy them what they need before yourself. It's just natural. It's instinct. You won't even care that you haven't bought yourself new underwear in 2 years or whatever.

I agree with Laura in that physically and mentally it's hard but the reward of bringing a human life into this world, your own flesh and blood far outweighs any negatives. You will never experience a love like it.

That said, of course it's your decision and only one that you can make. Don't let anyone persuade you into doing something that maybe later on you'll regret.

Xx