Just cannot face work

[xx emma xx]

I'm supposed to be starting work in about 15 minutes but I am not going in. I've been off sick quite a lot through my pregnancy due to many reasons. Quite a few being my anxiety. I just get this overwhelming feeling of dread when it comes to going to my work. I know everyone hates work but it gets to me so much that I go through these phases of anxiety. Am I being ridiculous for just not bothering to go? I'm off allll the time lol they are starting to get pissed off with me but can't do much about it cos I'm pregnant. My OH works there too and just says I shouldn't care what people think if I don't want to go then don't go. Is anyone else like this?? Feel like my anxiety has got a lot worse in pregnancy x

 

[pinkymum]

I used to get the dread bigtime! I put it down to my mental health in the past. Couldn't hold a job down, would get really anxious and depressed. Everything got bigger than it actually was. I don't really have any advice but I can relate. It's a horrible feeling!
*hugs*
X x x x


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[xx emma xx]

Thanks pinkymum. Yeah your right, I make things bigger than they actually are. I don't get paid for being off so feel bad when I don't go to work cos my OH works so hard and does so much overtime and I can't go in and do my normal shifts. He is probably the only person that gets how I feel though and is very understanding. I've switched jobs a lot because of it, always blaming the job. But now I'm not sure its just the job, if it happens in a lot of jobs I do. Need to phone in soon, I hate this bit, trying to explain anxiety to someone who just doesn't get it xx

 

[PinkPunch]

Over the last month and a half I have developed anxiety/panic attacks etc so I know how you feel. But when it gets in the way of everyday life like your job, I think it might be worthwhile to try and get some help. Maybe explain it to your doc and make them refer you to a therapist?

 

[xx emma xx]

My OH said this too. I used to go speak to someone a couple of years ago but stopped. I think I will try get an appointment at docs cos its now starting to worry me that it won't go away once baby is born. Ill never sleep if all I will do is worry and get anxious baby is ok. Before xmas I was getting so bad I was worrying bad things were going to happen to my family and stuff. It sounds funny when reading it but when your actually going through these irrational worries and fears it makes life hard x

 

[pinkymum]

Over the last month and a half I have developed anxiety/panic attacks etc so I know how you feel. But when it gets in the way of everyday life like your job, I think it might be worthwhile to try and get some help. Maybe explain it to your doc and make them refer you to a therapist?

Yeah I agree with this!

Trying to explain something that other people can't see ir anxiety/depression is difficult. But I think it can end up being a vicious circle. You feel like you can't go into work - then you feel really bad for not going in and don't get sick pay - therefore making you feel worse in the long run - then having to call in sick again. Well I know thats how it was with me. Its hard! I suppose the only thing that I did differently was to force myself to go. Not saying you should do this but thats what I had to do.

*hugs*
x x x x

 

[xx emma xx]

I just can't wait until maternity leave starts, ages away though lol. I forced myself to go last week and do generally try quite hard but sometimes just get myself into terrible states. I ended up in tears on my lunch break one day last week cos I just couldn't handle it. Everyone that hasn't experienced it though just thinks 'pull yourself together' x

 

[pinkymum]

I just can't wait until maternity leave starts, ages away though lol. I forced myself to go last week and do generally try quite hard but sometimes just get myself into terrible states. I ended up in tears on my lunch break one day last week cos I just couldn't handle it. Everyone that hasn't experienced it though just thinks 'pull yourself together' x

I know hun, its really hard to explain to people who haven't felt that way. *hugs*

x x x x

 

[midnight]

i think your best seeing your dr tbh because it sound like if you cant face work then there is something wrong i mean no one likes work but it sounds like it goes deeper with you im not too sure if you have so much time off if they can force you into early mat leave great you might think but it means you get less time off when the baby is here

 

[pinkymum]

i think your best seeing your dr tbh because it sound like if you cant face work then there is something wrong i mean no one likes work but it sounds like it goes deeper with you im not too sure if you have so much time off if they can force you into early mat leave great you might think but it means you get less time off when the baby is here

I agree with midnight. I know for me it was alot more than just the "normal" dislike of work. Also maternity leave won't last forever and you'll have to go back to work so definately worth asking for some help and hopefully it'll be easier.

x

 

[XHopefulX]

I agree with midnight hun, unless you can be signed off with anxiety and this can be documented with your HR department, I think you are going to be pretty limited to your maternity entitlements and you might be endangering yourself with redundancy (especially in this day and age) which would have nothing to do with you being pregnant or not..... please seek help, I wish you luck x

 

[Lexusno1]

Your workplace will have to tread very carefully with any sort of disciplinary or allowing it to effect your job if your absences are pregnancy related.

Maybe you could ask for a meeting to discuss your issues and ask for reduced hours as soon as you're ready or something? If you stay away completely it may make it near impossible to go back at all.

I have had panic/anxiety attacks before I was pregnancy following a viral infection that went on for about 5 months. It's the worst feeling there is and i know you may be limited as to what you can take but I took omega oil capsuals, increased my intake of oily fish and lots and lots of iron (i loved on spinach and mackrel for ages!). My doc said increasing your 'brain food' will really help a lot to minimise your attacks. I also cut out ALL caffine completely, tea, coke, coffee, everything. I honestly saw an improvement after about a week.

I remember I felt as though my breathing would get shallow and my brain literally couldnt cope with processing too much at once or I would get myself into a mess. Horrible horrible feeling.

At least we have nice positive things to focus on now. I found it helpful to look to exciting things and focus on those. In a few months, we'll be holding them. Most of all, TALK! Do what you did today and talk about how you feel, even if its just to repeat yourself as it really helps to offload.

Sorry i've waffled! Hope you see an improvement soon hun
xxx

 

[Miss]

As Pinky said it's a vicious circle hun - you feel you can't go to work and having to call in just makes you worse.

Level headed people have problems understanding anxiety - I mean everyone can get anxious but the level you are experiencing is above what most do!

Pop and see your doctor you may just need some time off where you do not have to worry about explaining yourself everyday so that you can put things in order in your head.

Like Lexus I had a period in my life when my anxiety got that bad I would have panic attacks - at one point leaving the house to take my son to school had me in that much of a state and so drained that I had to go home and sleep! It does happen and it will get better in time but the worst thing you can do is to put yourself in the position to panic more.

Please let me know how you get on

xx

 

[xx emma xx]

Im being made redundant in April anyway unless i am successful in internal vacancies that I can apply for. But i have already applied for two and been unsuccessful which now looks like its going to be a discrimination case. All of this isnt helping either but everyone i speak to thinks i have a good case of discrimination, thats another matter altogether though. I called and spoke to my team leader who is a little understanding but her manager wanted to know why i was off again after she changed my shifts to try and help (she put me on same shifts as my OH as this does help sometimes with getting me motivated to get up for work) But it doesnt take the problem away altogether, she seems to think my anxiety should have vanished from changing a shift! They wont do anything else regarding my anxiety. I was off for about 6 weeks in august last year with it and they were very unhelpful. I just dont know what to do. If i see a doc they will probably sign me off sick which i would take in a minute but my work stopped my sick pay last year when i was off with anxiety. I just want to hide for a couple of months until i dont need to worry about work anymore and can concentrate on my baby and OH. My poor OH is so supportive and i know he hates seeing me like this, he always says to me 'i just want you to be happy'. x

 

[xx emma xx]

P.S Thank you for all your comments. Its nice to see people understand where im coming from and arent just thinking 'she cant be bothered going to her work' xxx

 

[PinkPunch]

Just try not to ignore it or think it will all be fine when your off work because you will need to go back at some stage and the problem will still be there. How you you feel about leaving work, do you need your job?

 

[midnight]

you may aswel stick it out best you can to get mat leave whats the earliest you can take it?

 

[Miss]

P.S Thank you for all your comments. Its nice to see people understand where im coming from and arent just thinking 'she cant be bothered going to her work' xxx

You are not lazy hun! Unfortunately we get labeled as lazy because either people do not understand or because of the people that abuse it or lie about it.

Don't stress hun - it's not good for you or baby - go see your Doctor if he signs you off you may only get SSP but it is better than nothing and a lot better than worrying yourself silly because you have to phone in daily! xx

 

[xx emma xx]

I will need a job next year so if i dont get an internal vacancy i would start looking for work in January. I will only be wanting a part time job after mat leave though as me and my OH are pretty sure will manage that way. The earliest i can take my mat leave is around the 12th March. I was planning to stop at the end of March anyway as my redundancy is 2 weeks after that. I keep trying to think to just try be positive and get through these next couple of months then that will be me, but its so much harder to actually do. x

 

[Lexusno1]

I can't take it at work anymore either. Not because of anxiety though, just because it makes me sick having to come here!

The earliest we can leave is 11 weeks before my due date and like you, my job role is being made redundant (which they worked around my mat leave) so its unlikely i'll be coming back here anyway. I plan to go back to work when Jaiden is about 1 and a half part time so leaving earlier shouldnt really affect us too much.

I leave on 4th Feb and it can't come soon enough!!!

xx